Now here's a cute baby picture to make me feel better about not being able to blog about my job.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Never blog about work
Okay, so this is basically rule #1 of blogging. You don't blog about your job unless you're willing to lose said job over the things you write. I've always tried to follow this rule, especially since I started teaching, therefore I won't go into details about what's happening with my job at the moment except to say that hearing "Oh, don't worry about it" after receiving two very disturbing pieces of information this week isn't exactly making me a happy camper today. I love my job. I love teaching, love my students, and really do love my school. That said, I don't love how they're handling my absence at the moment, and I'm more than a little anxious about how things are going to pan out while I'm gone.
Now here's a cute baby picture to make me feel better about not being able to blog about my job.
Now here's a cute baby picture to make me feel better about not being able to blog about my job.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep little baby...
Oh dear, I think we have a boy who's mixing up his nights and his days.
(gulp)
Luke took two long naps today and now here it is, 9:00 at night, and he is wide awake. Not hungry, not fussy, just AWAKE. Awake and needing to be held. Daddy's on snuggle duty at the moment, and as adorable as Luke is when he's awake and happy, I'd really love to see his beautiful blue eyes close so we could go to bed!
Still, who wouldn't stay up all night for this face?
(memo to my son--this is what you should look like at bedtime, okay?)
(gulp)
Luke took two long naps today and now here it is, 9:00 at night, and he is wide awake. Not hungry, not fussy, just AWAKE. Awake and needing to be held. Daddy's on snuggle duty at the moment, and as adorable as Luke is when he's awake and happy, I'd really love to see his beautiful blue eyes close so we could go to bed!
Still, who wouldn't stay up all night for this face?
(memo to my son--this is what you should look like at bedtime, okay?)
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Harder than it looks
We made a visit to the lactation consultant today. Breastfeeding has been an uphill battle for us over the last 6 days, and when it got to the point where I was bleeding, we decided we needed some help. The good news is that the LC was very helpful and we seem to have located the source of the problem. We're supposed to do some simple exercises with Luke prior to every feeding to help him learn how to properly position his tongue to feed. I'm still worried about how we're going to do long-term, but at least for now I think things will improve.
I never knew just how upsetting and all-consuming it can be to feed a newborn. When we came home from the hospital, Luke really wasn't getting enough to eat. We didn't realize it for several hours, and when we did we had no choice but to give him a couple of bottles. Then the pediatrician told us that he'd lost a bit more weight than she'd like to see (around 11% of his birthweight) and I felt horrible. Intellectually I know that we did the best we possibly could for him on that difficult third day of life. Things have gotten SO much better since then (thank goodness my milk came in quickly), and we know that he's getting enough. The lactation consultant was very reassuring on that point. Still, I spend virtually all day, every day thinking about how much Luke is eating. Is he getting enough? Is he really done with a feeding or is he just getting sleepy because his tummy is starting to fill up? Will he have a long enough nap after this feeding for me to take one?
Breastfeeding is hard. I truly, truly believe that it's the best thing I can be doing for him right now, but I can really understand now why many women give up. It's hard. Very, very hard.
Edited to Add:
We're back from the pediatrician and Luke has gained 6 oz! He needed to gain at least 3 to be back on track weight-wise, so we're pretty happy with 6.
I never knew just how upsetting and all-consuming it can be to feed a newborn. When we came home from the hospital, Luke really wasn't getting enough to eat. We didn't realize it for several hours, and when we did we had no choice but to give him a couple of bottles. Then the pediatrician told us that he'd lost a bit more weight than she'd like to see (around 11% of his birthweight) and I felt horrible. Intellectually I know that we did the best we possibly could for him on that difficult third day of life. Things have gotten SO much better since then (thank goodness my milk came in quickly), and we know that he's getting enough. The lactation consultant was very reassuring on that point. Still, I spend virtually all day, every day thinking about how much Luke is eating. Is he getting enough? Is he really done with a feeding or is he just getting sleepy because his tummy is starting to fill up? Will he have a long enough nap after this feeding for me to take one?
Breastfeeding is hard. I truly, truly believe that it's the best thing I can be doing for him right now, but I can really understand now why many women give up. It's hard. Very, very hard.
Edited to Add:
We're back from the pediatrician and Luke has gained 6 oz! He needed to gain at least 3 to be back on track weight-wise, so we're pretty happy with 6.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Baby Luke--Day 4
I don't think I ever fully appreciated just how much a child can turn your world upside down until this week. Everything revolves around the needs of this little, tiny being. It's exhausting, but also wonderful. I had no idea.
Luke is doing pretty well for someone who's only 4 days old. We had a really rough day on Sunday because he wasn't getting enough to eat, and while I'm committed to breastfeeding for the forseeable future, it was such a relief to know that he wasn't going to go hungry or get dehydrated as long as we supplemented with formula. Things really turned around early Monday morning when my milk came in, and we've been doing very well since then. He was circumcized today (which could really be a post in and of itself, but just thinking about the three hours we spent at the pediatric clinic this morning is making me hyperventilate again, so I'll save that one for another day) and we have yet another broken swamp cooler, so keeping him comfortable has been top priority. It's also been harder than it probably should be, but we're doing our best.
Vital stats--8 lbs 2 oz at birth, 7 lbs. 5 oz. at his well-child visit today. It's a bit more weight loss than our pediatrician wants to see, so we're going back in (*shudder*) on Friday to have another weight check. I'm pretty sure Sunday's setbacks are to blame, but I'm glad that our ped is keeping on top of things and making sure that he starts gaining again. We also got his official length, which was missing from the paperwork we got at discharge. He's 19.5 inches, which puts him near the top of the charts. Just looking at his feet (he's definitely got Juan's Hobbit feet) you can tell that this kid is going to be tall.
Likes: the Baby Papasan, Mama, Daddy, FOOD, and snuggles
Dislikes: the heat, spitting up, getting hungry, and not being able to chew on his fists at all times
And finally, a few more pictures--I may not be the most impartial judge here, but I think he's the cutest baby ever.
Playing with Daddy
Snuggles with Mama in the hospital
Coming home for the first time!
Luke is doing pretty well for someone who's only 4 days old. We had a really rough day on Sunday because he wasn't getting enough to eat, and while I'm committed to breastfeeding for the forseeable future, it was such a relief to know that he wasn't going to go hungry or get dehydrated as long as we supplemented with formula. Things really turned around early Monday morning when my milk came in, and we've been doing very well since then. He was circumcized today (which could really be a post in and of itself, but just thinking about the three hours we spent at the pediatric clinic this morning is making me hyperventilate again, so I'll save that one for another day) and we have yet another broken swamp cooler, so keeping him comfortable has been top priority. It's also been harder than it probably should be, but we're doing our best.
Vital stats--8 lbs 2 oz at birth, 7 lbs. 5 oz. at his well-child visit today. It's a bit more weight loss than our pediatrician wants to see, so we're going back in (*shudder*) on Friday to have another weight check. I'm pretty sure Sunday's setbacks are to blame, but I'm glad that our ped is keeping on top of things and making sure that he starts gaining again. We also got his official length, which was missing from the paperwork we got at discharge. He's 19.5 inches, which puts him near the top of the charts. Just looking at his feet (he's definitely got Juan's Hobbit feet) you can tell that this kid is going to be tall.
Likes: the Baby Papasan, Mama, Daddy, FOOD, and snuggles
Dislikes: the heat, spitting up, getting hungry, and not being able to chew on his fists at all times
And finally, a few more pictures--I may not be the most impartial judge here, but I think he's the cutest baby ever.
Playing with Daddy
Snuggles with Mama in the hospital
Coming home for the first time!
Monday, August 13, 2007
Introducing...
Lucas John, born 9:11 pm on August 10, 2007. 8 lbs, 2 oz, and absolutely beautiful.
More to come soon!
More to come soon!
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Watch as I distract you with a cute cat story
No baby yet, but we have had some interesting goings-on at our house lately that might at least distract everyone from the fact that this kid is now six (SIX!) days overdue.
Last week Codi and Arcadia decided to go on a rampage. One night they were fine, and the next they were holy terror kitties. They raced around our bedroom at 2:00 am (repeatedly using the bed we were sleeping in as a jumping-off point, of course), attacked each other, attacked US if we weren't actively petting them, and harassed the dog (who didn't really know what to do--he's usually the one chasing them) until he ran into his crate just to get away. In short, KITTIES FROM HELL replaced our normally sweet, cuddly girls.
J and I chalked it up to the full moon or possibly the changing weather. Animals are supposed to be sensitive to both, so we figured that it was just one of those weird cat phases that would pass. It did, however, strike me as odd that the main instigator of the chaos was Codi. For those of you who haven't met our cats in person (or who don't remember my string of Arcadia-centric posts last year) Codi is the calm one. She's the good cat who never acts out, even when she's deathly ill and really should be trying to get our attention in any way possible. Codi just doesn't DO things like bite your feet while you're trying to sleep or attempt to chase the dog.
In any case, after around 24 hours of kitty mayhem, they seemed to calm down. They started crying whenever they saw me, though, which is usually a sign that they're out of food. I checked the hidden nook upstairs where we keep their dishes, and sure enough there wasn't a speck of food left. Piggy kitties had gone through two heaping bowls in less than 48 hours, which was almost a new record for them. When I went to pick up the bowls to refill them, though, I noticed something was in their water bowl. It was small, brown, and had clearly been dropped in there by a cat who couldn't decide if she wanted to play or have a drink.
When I pulled the object out, I immediately realized exactly why my girls had been such holy terrors for the last day. You see, it wasn't just any cat toy they had put in their (full) water bowl. Oh no, it was a catnip stuffed bear.
Catnip stuffed toy in a bowl of water. Picture that for a moment. Then picture the water I poured out of said bowl.
It was BROWN, ladies and gentlemen. Once the water had soaked through the bear, the catnip had steeped in the water creating a kind of tea that Codi and Arcadia had been drinking for at least a day. At some point it clearly got too strong for them, so they switched to the downstairs water bowls (which probably explains why their behavior normalized) but still. They were drinking CATNIP TEA and were high as kites until they switched to the fresh water!
In any case, I'm now keeping a very close eye on all of their catnip toys and making sure to check the bowl at least once a day. I think they learned their lesson--neither of them has played with that particular bear since it happened--but you never know.
Last week Codi and Arcadia decided to go on a rampage. One night they were fine, and the next they were holy terror kitties. They raced around our bedroom at 2:00 am (repeatedly using the bed we were sleeping in as a jumping-off point, of course), attacked each other, attacked US if we weren't actively petting them, and harassed the dog (who didn't really know what to do--he's usually the one chasing them) until he ran into his crate just to get away. In short, KITTIES FROM HELL replaced our normally sweet, cuddly girls.
J and I chalked it up to the full moon or possibly the changing weather. Animals are supposed to be sensitive to both, so we figured that it was just one of those weird cat phases that would pass. It did, however, strike me as odd that the main instigator of the chaos was Codi. For those of you who haven't met our cats in person (or who don't remember my string of Arcadia-centric posts last year) Codi is the calm one. She's the good cat who never acts out, even when she's deathly ill and really should be trying to get our attention in any way possible. Codi just doesn't DO things like bite your feet while you're trying to sleep or attempt to chase the dog.
In any case, after around 24 hours of kitty mayhem, they seemed to calm down. They started crying whenever they saw me, though, which is usually a sign that they're out of food. I checked the hidden nook upstairs where we keep their dishes, and sure enough there wasn't a speck of food left. Piggy kitties had gone through two heaping bowls in less than 48 hours, which was almost a new record for them. When I went to pick up the bowls to refill them, though, I noticed something was in their water bowl. It was small, brown, and had clearly been dropped in there by a cat who couldn't decide if she wanted to play or have a drink.
When I pulled the object out, I immediately realized exactly why my girls had been such holy terrors for the last day. You see, it wasn't just any cat toy they had put in their (full) water bowl. Oh no, it was a catnip stuffed bear.
Catnip stuffed toy in a bowl of water. Picture that for a moment. Then picture the water I poured out of said bowl.
It was BROWN, ladies and gentlemen. Once the water had soaked through the bear, the catnip had steeped in the water creating a kind of tea that Codi and Arcadia had been drinking for at least a day. At some point it clearly got too strong for them, so they switched to the downstairs water bowls (which probably explains why their behavior normalized) but still. They were drinking CATNIP TEA and were high as kites until they switched to the fresh water!
In any case, I'm now keeping a very close eye on all of their catnip toys and making sure to check the bowl at least once a day. I think they learned their lesson--neither of them has played with that particular bear since it happened--but you never know.
Monday, August 06, 2007
Okay, OW!
I think I overdid it today.
In an effort to trick my body into going into labor, I've made all kinds of elaborate plans for the next seven days. Today I lugged all off the school supplies I bought over the weekend to my classroom in the hopes of getting the boxes that were already there unpacked. The administration moved me to a different room last weekend (at my request--I didn't want to be in the stinky hallway anymore) so I also needed to check out the furniture situation in my new digs.
Three hours later my room looks great (seriously, it rocks) but my back, pelvis, and feet are KILLING ME. I don't think I've been this sore since our move last year.
Baby is kicking away, so I know that he's doing well, but I feel like crap. It's all I could do to lift my foot from the gas to the brake while I was driving home, and now I've collapsed into a giant, moaning heap on the couch. Think I could train Jasper to get me a snack from the fridge?
Tomorrow is supposed to be devoted to finishing up some lesson planning and writing out the calendar for my long-term sub, and then I have a meeting with said sub on Wednesday. Also on Wednesday--makeup shopping. Then I'm going to do some serious art shopping on Thursday (after 13 months, J and I finally hung up some pictures yesterday and now I'm on a roll) followed by cooking/baking for post-baby meals on Friday. After today, though, sitting in my recliner and knitting for the next week sounds pretty good!
Of course, I'm really hoping that all of my activity will convince my body to just go into labor already, and I reserve the right to be seriously ticked off if it doesn't work.
In an effort to trick my body into going into labor, I've made all kinds of elaborate plans for the next seven days. Today I lugged all off the school supplies I bought over the weekend to my classroom in the hopes of getting the boxes that were already there unpacked. The administration moved me to a different room last weekend (at my request--I didn't want to be in the stinky hallway anymore) so I also needed to check out the furniture situation in my new digs.
Three hours later my room looks great (seriously, it rocks) but my back, pelvis, and feet are KILLING ME. I don't think I've been this sore since our move last year.
Baby is kicking away, so I know that he's doing well, but I feel like crap. It's all I could do to lift my foot from the gas to the brake while I was driving home, and now I've collapsed into a giant, moaning heap on the couch. Think I could train Jasper to get me a snack from the fridge?
Tomorrow is supposed to be devoted to finishing up some lesson planning and writing out the calendar for my long-term sub, and then I have a meeting with said sub on Wednesday. Also on Wednesday--makeup shopping. Then I'm going to do some serious art shopping on Thursday (after 13 months, J and I finally hung up some pictures yesterday and now I'm on a roll) followed by cooking/baking for post-baby meals on Friday. After today, though, sitting in my recliner and knitting for the next week sounds pretty good!
Of course, I'm really hoping that all of my activity will convince my body to just go into labor already, and I reserve the right to be seriously ticked off if it doesn't work.
Saturday, August 04, 2007
No baby, but hey look at what I found at Target!
My 40 week appointment wasn't much fun. I still haven't made any progress whatsoever in spite of the fact that the baby's head is as far down as it can come. He's clearly ready, but my body has just decided that it would really rather stay pregnant forever, thankyouverymuch. The induction that I had assumed would be scheduled for late next week isn't going to be until the 13th thanks to a conference my doctor has to attend in DC. The news that I very possibly may have to stay pregnant for another 10 days (and that saying that my induction will be on the 13th is a bit disingenuous since I'll just go in that night to start Cervadil before really hitting the Pitocin hard the next morning) did not sit very well with me. In fact, I actually started crying a bit. So, it's no wonder that I left the hospital in a rather foul mood, which was compounded by the fact that we had even more rainstorms pass through yesterday.
I woke up in a slightly better mood this morning, though, so J and I went out for breakfast. Afterwards we headed to Target since the 4 Tums I had left in my last bottle clearly weren't going to be enough to sustain me for the next 9+ days. Once there, though, we hit the mother load. SCHOOL SUPPLY SALE!!! By "sale" I mean $.20 glue sticks, scissors, Crayola markers and crayons, 10 for $1 packs of spiral notebooks, etc... In other words, every teacher's wish come true. I loaded up a cart with the best of the goodies, and we headed over to the home improvement section to buy a thingamajig for an electronics project Juan is working on.
Before we got there, though, we glanced at the home decor department and found THE PERFECT RUG. We've been searching high and low for THE PERFECT RUG since we moved into our house last summer and realized that hardwood floors like ours need rugs. Pretty rugs. PERFECT rugs. We're too picky for our own good, though, because everything we saw had something wrong with it. This one had too much green, that one was too thin, and the one over there cost $700. THE PERFECT RUG, however, is, well, perfect. It's red and dark orange, looks fantastic with our redwood baseboards, and even compliments my armchair, which is may be the hardest piece of furniture in the world to match something with. It was also less than $100, making it THE PERFECT RUG.
Jasper thinks that it's Christmas morning or something, he's that happy about the rug (why? Who knows.) and I must say that getting all of the supplies my classroom will need for the next year has made me a very happy camper. I'm still not thrilled by the thought of staying pregnant for another week and a half (not to mention the though of a lengthy induction) but today's finds have certainly perked up my mood. Never discount the benefits of retail therapy, my friends. Never.
I woke up in a slightly better mood this morning, though, so J and I went out for breakfast. Afterwards we headed to Target since the 4 Tums I had left in my last bottle clearly weren't going to be enough to sustain me for the next 9+ days. Once there, though, we hit the mother load. SCHOOL SUPPLY SALE!!! By "sale" I mean $.20 glue sticks, scissors, Crayola markers and crayons, 10 for $1 packs of spiral notebooks, etc... In other words, every teacher's wish come true. I loaded up a cart with the best of the goodies, and we headed over to the home improvement section to buy a thingamajig for an electronics project Juan is working on.
Before we got there, though, we glanced at the home decor department and found THE PERFECT RUG. We've been searching high and low for THE PERFECT RUG since we moved into our house last summer and realized that hardwood floors like ours need rugs. Pretty rugs. PERFECT rugs. We're too picky for our own good, though, because everything we saw had something wrong with it. This one had too much green, that one was too thin, and the one over there cost $700. THE PERFECT RUG, however, is, well, perfect. It's red and dark orange, looks fantastic with our redwood baseboards, and even compliments my armchair, which is may be the hardest piece of furniture in the world to match something with. It was also less than $100, making it THE PERFECT RUG.
Jasper thinks that it's Christmas morning or something, he's that happy about the rug (why? Who knows.) and I must say that getting all of the supplies my classroom will need for the next year has made me a very happy camper. I'm still not thrilled by the thought of staying pregnant for another week and a half (not to mention the though of a lengthy induction) but today's finds have certainly perked up my mood. Never discount the benefits of retail therapy, my friends. Never.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
EDD
Well, it's here. My due date. Apparently nobody forwarded that memo to the baby, though, because he seems to be perfectly content to stay right where he is.
Actually, in spite of the fact that I may or may not have promised to give him lots and lots of presents if he decides that today is a good day to have a birthday, I'm okay if he just hangs out for a little longer. We just had the worst rainstorm of the season (it's starting to slow down now) and many of the roads between our house and the hospital aren't in great shape.
That said, we're serving him an eviction notice at my appointment tomorrow. My doctor doesn't want me to go much past 40 weeks, so we'll schedule an induction for sometime next week, though hopefully I'll go into labor on my own before then.
I know I've said it before, but I just can't believe how quickly this pregnancy has gone by. A year ago we were just starting to work with the amazing Dr. M, and now I'm getting ready to have a baby. Un-freaking-believable.
Actually, in spite of the fact that I may or may not have promised to give him lots and lots of presents if he decides that today is a good day to have a birthday, I'm okay if he just hangs out for a little longer. We just had the worst rainstorm of the season (it's starting to slow down now) and many of the roads between our house and the hospital aren't in great shape.
That said, we're serving him an eviction notice at my appointment tomorrow. My doctor doesn't want me to go much past 40 weeks, so we'll schedule an induction for sometime next week, though hopefully I'll go into labor on my own before then.
I know I've said it before, but I just can't believe how quickly this pregnancy has gone by. A year ago we were just starting to work with the amazing Dr. M, and now I'm getting ready to have a baby. Un-freaking-believable.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Why August is maybe not the best time to have a baby in El Paso
Exhibit A:
Exhibit B:
Exhibit C:
5-Day Forecast for El Paso, TX
TUE
Overcast
A few tstorms. Overcast.
87º / 67º
WED
Cloudy
Isolated tstorms late. Cloudy.
91º / 70º
THU
Overcast
Thunderstorms. Overcast.
90º / 71º
FRI
Overcast
Widely scattered tstorms. Overcast.
87º / 71º
SAT
Cloudy
Isolated tstorms late. Cloudy.
91º / 68º
Exhibit B:
Exhibit C:
5-Day Forecast for El Paso, TX
TUE
Overcast
A few tstorms. Overcast.
87º / 67º
WED
Cloudy
Isolated tstorms late. Cloudy.
91º / 70º
THU
Overcast
Thunderstorms. Overcast.
90º / 71º
FRI
Overcast
Widely scattered tstorms. Overcast.
87º / 71º
SAT
Cloudy
Isolated tstorms late. Cloudy.
91º / 68º
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Programming Note
I just went through my woefully small blogroll and added a number of blogs that I've started reading in the last year or so since I last updated it. If you're looking for some great new blogs, poke around and check out some of these amazing ladies (and gentlemen) that I've listed. More will be added soon as I slowly sift through my enormous bookmarks folder.
And, just in case anyone is interested, there's still no news on the baby front. Even after a full day of walking around yesterday (and more planned for tomorrow when these storms let up) I didn't have a single contraction.
And, just in case anyone is interested, there's still no news on the baby front. Even after a full day of walking around yesterday (and more planned for tomorrow when these storms let up) I didn't have a single contraction.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Seven Days
39 weeks down, one more to go. I'm alternating between feeling like this kid can't come quickly enough (J predicts his arrival daily) and telling him very sternly that August 2 is the absolute earliest date he's allowed to decide it's time to met Mom and Dad. For their parts, my extended family has started betting on due dates (I've got August 4) and every time I call my parents to chat or pass on some piece of information I hear a little note of disappointment in their voices when I have to say that no, nothing is happening on the baby front.
In short, everyone (except possibly me) thinks that it should be baby time!
On a related note, the nursery is done and I think it looks fantastic!
Here you can see the bookcase that J just finished making last weekend. Clearly, we are far from completing our picture book collection!
You can hardly see it, but on top of the bookcase is a wooden pull toy (a train of zoo animals) that holds a very special place in our hearts. J and I bought it at a craft fair back in Maryland during one of the darkest months of our infertility struggles. I saw it, fell in love, and proceeded to spend the next two hours agonizing over whether or not to buy it. J persuaded me that I'd regret it if I didn't, and that buying it wouldn't jinx anything, so I took a deep breath and pulled out my credit card. When we got home I put it (still in the bag) on the top shelf of our guest room closet. I didn't open the bag again until last weekend, when I put it on top of the bookcase. I can't even describe what that felt like--just the act of pulling it out, dusting it off, and throwing that old bag away was a victory.
One more vistory, and one more week to (officially) go until motherhood. Maybe I'm more ready for this than I think I am.
In short, everyone (except possibly me) thinks that it should be baby time!
On a related note, the nursery is done and I think it looks fantastic!
Here you can see the bookcase that J just finished making last weekend. Clearly, we are far from completing our picture book collection!
You can hardly see it, but on top of the bookcase is a wooden pull toy (a train of zoo animals) that holds a very special place in our hearts. J and I bought it at a craft fair back in Maryland during one of the darkest months of our infertility struggles. I saw it, fell in love, and proceeded to spend the next two hours agonizing over whether or not to buy it. J persuaded me that I'd regret it if I didn't, and that buying it wouldn't jinx anything, so I took a deep breath and pulled out my credit card. When we got home I put it (still in the bag) on the top shelf of our guest room closet. I didn't open the bag again until last weekend, when I put it on top of the bookcase. I can't even describe what that felt like--just the act of pulling it out, dusting it off, and throwing that old bag away was a victory.
One more vistory, and one more week to (officially) go until motherhood. Maybe I'm more ready for this than I think I am.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
One downside to being a speed reader
I gave in to the crazy last night and went to the midnight release of the final Harry Potter book. Thanks to some good company and a frappachino, I even managed to stay upbeat and excited while getting crushed by the million or so other people who simply had to have the book at the stroke of midnight.
Since I was smart and pre-ordered the book months ago, I only had to wait half an hour after the release to purchase my book and make my way home. I pulled in the driveway around 12:45, raced through my bedtime routine, and settled down to read. Which I did until around 2:30 am when I dozed off. I woke back up at 5:30, read for another hour, fell back asleep, and was up for good at 8:00.
I should mention that today has been Juan's only day off all week, so all he wanted to do was sleep and finish varnishing the baby's bookcase. Thus, no guilt trips from him about my plans to sit in my armchair and read all day long. And that's exactly what I did, taking only a couple of short breaks to eat and play with the pets.
I finished the book at 3:30 this afternoon. All 759 pages of it. Done. There are sooooooooo many things I want to discuss with someone else (anyone else!) who's also finished, but sadly it appears that once again my speed reading has worked against, rather than for me. None of my friends have finished it yet!
This is torture!
Since I was smart and pre-ordered the book months ago, I only had to wait half an hour after the release to purchase my book and make my way home. I pulled in the driveway around 12:45, raced through my bedtime routine, and settled down to read. Which I did until around 2:30 am when I dozed off. I woke back up at 5:30, read for another hour, fell back asleep, and was up for good at 8:00.
I should mention that today has been Juan's only day off all week, so all he wanted to do was sleep and finish varnishing the baby's bookcase. Thus, no guilt trips from him about my plans to sit in my armchair and read all day long. And that's exactly what I did, taking only a couple of short breaks to eat and play with the pets.
I finished the book at 3:30 this afternoon. All 759 pages of it. Done. There are sooooooooo many things I want to discuss with someone else (anyone else!) who's also finished, but sadly it appears that once again my speed reading has worked against, rather than for me. None of my friends have finished it yet!
This is torture!
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Practice Makes Perfect
Everyone keeps telling me that the wonders of late pregnancy (which, to date, include insomnia, pain, and an inability to just pack up and run away to the mountains when the heat here gets to be too much) are just preparing me for motherhood. And overall, I'm cool with that. I don't really need more than 4-5 hours of sleep a night and I can cope with quite a bit of discomfort--after all, I've already gone through an HSG, an endometrial biopsy, a hysteroscopy, and a laparoscopy for this baby, so what's a bit of pelvic pain and pressure every time I change positions? Even the mountain getaway doesn't bother me--it might be nice to hop in the car and drive 60 miles to cool New Mexico when the temperatures here hit the triple digits, but realistically we probably wouldn't have time/energy to go even if I wasn't pushing 38 weeks.
So overall, late pregnancy is agreeing with me almost as much as mid-pregnancy did. Early pregnancy can bite me, but that's a whole different post.
There's just one teeny tiny thing that's bugging me right now, though. Laundry. Oh, the laundry. Not just the insane first-time mom preparation laundry I'm doing for the baby, either. No, this is my personal laundry, which I'm doing at least twice a week now because I only have four tops and two pairs of pants left and I somehow manage to spill on at least one article of clothing every 7.5 hours. Ergo, LOTS of laundry is being done around here at the moment.
Again, this should simply serve to prepare me for motherhood. I'd be an idiot to think that baby doesn't equal lots and LOTS of laundry. Poopy laundry at that, which is at least one joy I'm not having to deal with just yet. Still, I would love to have a wardrobe large enough that would actually get me through an entire week without having to run a load or two. I'd love to be able to wear something other than my green tank with the beads or the red top with the little white flowers or the green t-shirt (that probably should be retired from the rotation due to bleached spots around the neckline, but that would leave me with only three shirts) or the white top with blue embroidery.
I swear, when I'm back down to my pre-pregnancy size I will never again look in my full-to-bursting closet and complain that I have nothing to wear.
I have 15 days left. It would be incredibly wasteful to spend money on more clothes at this point. I'd get to wear something new maybe 4-5 times before it wouldn't fit anymore thanks to the miracle of childbirth. And yet, I had to literally hold myself back from the maternity section at Target earlier today because the rack of $10 t-shirts was calling my name.
It's practice, C. It's just practice for the baby. The baby you've wanted so desperately for so long. What's a few loads of laundry when you think of that? Well, not much when you think about it that way, but boy it would be nice to actually get to wait until the hamper was full before having to face the washer and dryer.
So overall, late pregnancy is agreeing with me almost as much as mid-pregnancy did. Early pregnancy can bite me, but that's a whole different post.
There's just one teeny tiny thing that's bugging me right now, though. Laundry. Oh, the laundry. Not just the insane first-time mom preparation laundry I'm doing for the baby, either. No, this is my personal laundry, which I'm doing at least twice a week now because I only have four tops and two pairs of pants left and I somehow manage to spill on at least one article of clothing every 7.5 hours. Ergo, LOTS of laundry is being done around here at the moment.
Again, this should simply serve to prepare me for motherhood. I'd be an idiot to think that baby doesn't equal lots and LOTS of laundry. Poopy laundry at that, which is at least one joy I'm not having to deal with just yet. Still, I would love to have a wardrobe large enough that would actually get me through an entire week without having to run a load or two. I'd love to be able to wear something other than my green tank with the beads or the red top with the little white flowers or the green t-shirt (that probably should be retired from the rotation due to bleached spots around the neckline, but that would leave me with only three shirts) or the white top with blue embroidery.
I swear, when I'm back down to my pre-pregnancy size I will never again look in my full-to-bursting closet and complain that I have nothing to wear.
I have 15 days left. It would be incredibly wasteful to spend money on more clothes at this point. I'd get to wear something new maybe 4-5 times before it wouldn't fit anymore thanks to the miracle of childbirth. And yet, I had to literally hold myself back from the maternity section at Target earlier today because the rack of $10 t-shirts was calling my name.
It's practice, C. It's just practice for the baby. The baby you've wanted so desperately for so long. What's a few loads of laundry when you think of that? Well, not much when you think about it that way, but boy it would be nice to actually get to wait until the hamper was full before having to face the washer and dryer.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Don't scratch!
Have I ever mentioned that I'm highly allergic to mosquito bites?
Exhibit A:
Yes, highly allergic. Putting aside the fact that my feet are horribly swollen at the moment and the fact that I obviously need to vacuum my stairs, LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT BITE! Do you have any idea how hard it is not to scratch something this itchy that also happens to be the size of a pad of Post-Its?
So. Very. Itchy...
Oh, and Jasper would like you all to know that he doesn't approve of anyone taking a picture unless he's included in the shot.
Exhibit A:
Yes, highly allergic. Putting aside the fact that my feet are horribly swollen at the moment and the fact that I obviously need to vacuum my stairs, LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT BITE! Do you have any idea how hard it is not to scratch something this itchy that also happens to be the size of a pad of Post-Its?
So. Very. Itchy...
Oh, and Jasper would like you all to know that he doesn't approve of anyone taking a picture unless he's included in the shot.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Seeing Red(book)
It's been awhile since I last talked at length about infertility or a fertility-related topic. The tone of my blog has changed dramatically since I got pregnant, and while not all of the changes have been intentional, I have periodically wondered if it's appropriate for me to continue blogging about infertility given my audience (almost exclusively family and friends) and my pregnancy. I confess to self-censoring to a degree because I didn't know myself what I wanted to be--a mommy-to-be blogger or a former infertile blogger. I can't say that I've completely answered that question, but I hope to start to address it in the next weeks/months.
That said, there have been certain...controversies lately in a rather prominent part of the IF blogging world that have really struck a chord with me. In brief, Redbook hired Julia, one of my favorite infertility bloggers to write about her experiences as part of a new "Trying to Get Pregnant: The Infertility Diaries" blog they launched on their website. Julia, already the mother of one son, got pregnant with twins shortly after starting the new blog, but due to many past miscarriages she is far being from "out of the woods". Also hired was a Redbook staffer named Lili who was absent from the blog for the first few months of its existence. Redbook offered no explanation for Lili's absence other than to say that she would be back "in a few weeks."
Then, last week Lili wrote her first post which, among other things, gave the reason why she had yet to contribute to the blog. After five years of fertility treatments, she was just returning from maternity leave after having twins. Immediately, comments flooded in from readers who took offense not only to the overall tone of her post (which, in my opinion, reflected her status as an inexperienced blogger who had not given enough thought to her intended audience not a genuine insensitivity to the feelings of infertile readers) but to the fact that both of Redbook's infertility bloggers were parents. A handful of nasty personal comments were made about Lili that were completely uncalled for, but most of the comments urged Redbook to re-think their panel of bloggers and, at a minimum, add a new blogger who is currently undergoing treatments for primary infertility.
Neither Redbook nor Lili responded for several days, leaving the impression that they either had no idea how to handle a reader revolt or that they simply didn't care about the pain they had caused to many of their readers. Either way, it's not exactly the kind of impression they probably wanted to leave. Finally, a Redbook editor addressed the comments in a post today that essentially dismissed what readers were saying and declared the subject closed permanently.
For what it's worth, I do not believe that blame for this situation should be laid solely at Lili's feet. She has simply been the scapegoat for Redbook's egregious lack of foresight and empathy. In fact, I feel quite a bit of sympathy for her since I'm also no longer considered a member of the IF club by many of the women I grew to know and care about during the roughly two years it took us to get pregnant. Those of us who have "turned the corner" as it were still deal with many of the emotional ramifications of infertility even though we have gotten pregnant, and it's not easy to suddenly feel excluded from IF's tight-knit support network when that happens.
The thing is, a positive pregnancy test (or even an almost full-term pregnancy) doesn't heal the wounds infertility causes. It doesn't erase the days and nights I spent hurting, doesn't repair the friendships I lost during those years, and it doesn't negate the experiences I had in getting to this point. The truth is, I still feel uncomfortable talking about my pregnancy with those who don't know our story. I don't like having to smile and nod when hearing stories about other women's "oops" pregnancies. It makes me angry to see Nicole Richie (who is, in my opinion, the last woman on earth who should probably be a parent) on the cover of US Weekly declaring "I'm Pregnant!". I am thankful for this pregnancy every day, and I know that my experiences in getting here will make me a more thoughtful and grateful parent than I probably would have been if we had been able to conceive easily. I'm still hurting, though. That pain might go away someday, but I won't be surprised if it doesn't. It's part of who I am now. I alluded to this in my post about my baby shower last month, but didn't write extensively on the topic since I was still trying to figure out my reaction for myself.
I suppose that in the end, nothing about infertility is fair or easy. What angers me most about the Redbook situation is that instead of directing anger at the editors who did not bother to consider the feelings of their readers or their bloggers, we have once again directed it at one of our own who is doubtless still dealing with the emotional toll infertility takes.
That said, there have been certain...controversies lately in a rather prominent part of the IF blogging world that have really struck a chord with me. In brief, Redbook hired Julia, one of my favorite infertility bloggers to write about her experiences as part of a new "Trying to Get Pregnant: The Infertility Diaries" blog they launched on their website. Julia, already the mother of one son, got pregnant with twins shortly after starting the new blog, but due to many past miscarriages she is far being from "out of the woods". Also hired was a Redbook staffer named Lili who was absent from the blog for the first few months of its existence. Redbook offered no explanation for Lili's absence other than to say that she would be back "in a few weeks."
Then, last week Lili wrote her first post which, among other things, gave the reason why she had yet to contribute to the blog. After five years of fertility treatments, she was just returning from maternity leave after having twins. Immediately, comments flooded in from readers who took offense not only to the overall tone of her post (which, in my opinion, reflected her status as an inexperienced blogger who had not given enough thought to her intended audience not a genuine insensitivity to the feelings of infertile readers) but to the fact that both of Redbook's infertility bloggers were parents. A handful of nasty personal comments were made about Lili that were completely uncalled for, but most of the comments urged Redbook to re-think their panel of bloggers and, at a minimum, add a new blogger who is currently undergoing treatments for primary infertility.
Neither Redbook nor Lili responded for several days, leaving the impression that they either had no idea how to handle a reader revolt or that they simply didn't care about the pain they had caused to many of their readers. Either way, it's not exactly the kind of impression they probably wanted to leave. Finally, a Redbook editor addressed the comments in a post today that essentially dismissed what readers were saying and declared the subject closed permanently.
For what it's worth, I do not believe that blame for this situation should be laid solely at Lili's feet. She has simply been the scapegoat for Redbook's egregious lack of foresight and empathy. In fact, I feel quite a bit of sympathy for her since I'm also no longer considered a member of the IF club by many of the women I grew to know and care about during the roughly two years it took us to get pregnant. Those of us who have "turned the corner" as it were still deal with many of the emotional ramifications of infertility even though we have gotten pregnant, and it's not easy to suddenly feel excluded from IF's tight-knit support network when that happens.
The thing is, a positive pregnancy test (or even an almost full-term pregnancy) doesn't heal the wounds infertility causes. It doesn't erase the days and nights I spent hurting, doesn't repair the friendships I lost during those years, and it doesn't negate the experiences I had in getting to this point. The truth is, I still feel uncomfortable talking about my pregnancy with those who don't know our story. I don't like having to smile and nod when hearing stories about other women's "oops" pregnancies. It makes me angry to see Nicole Richie (who is, in my opinion, the last woman on earth who should probably be a parent) on the cover of US Weekly declaring "I'm Pregnant!". I am thankful for this pregnancy every day, and I know that my experiences in getting here will make me a more thoughtful and grateful parent than I probably would have been if we had been able to conceive easily. I'm still hurting, though. That pain might go away someday, but I won't be surprised if it doesn't. It's part of who I am now. I alluded to this in my post about my baby shower last month, but didn't write extensively on the topic since I was still trying to figure out my reaction for myself.
I suppose that in the end, nothing about infertility is fair or easy. What angers me most about the Redbook situation is that instead of directing anger at the editors who did not bother to consider the feelings of their readers or their bloggers, we have once again directed it at one of our own who is doubtless still dealing with the emotional toll infertility takes.
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Some Assembly Required
My husband is either a saint or a crazy person. After spending a week working nights (a new experience for both of us, since he was only expected to work overnight call once a week while he was an intern) he started his weekend off not by immediately heading upstairs to take a much-needed nap when he got home, but by installing the carseat in both our cars and assembling two strollers. Something tells me that hearing my doctor say "We're just waiting on baby to decide when he wants to come" yesterday struck a chord with him because there was no stopping him until everything was assembled.
So, I now have an infant seat in my car and can even take it out for a spin in a stroller if I want to. Yikes!
Not that my thoughts about the baby coming early have changed at all. I'm still fairly confident that he's not going to be making an appearance too soon, though I don't think J would mind it much if he did.
In other news, my dad has taken off on another of his crazy bicycle trips. He and a friend are riding through Montana and North Dakota for the next couple of weeks, and we're all trying very hard to avoid thinking about what happened last year. Naturally, they're riding right through the massive heat wave that's hitting the West right now. It's been hotter up there than it has been here in El Paso!
So, I now have an infant seat in my car and can even take it out for a spin in a stroller if I want to. Yikes!
Not that my thoughts about the baby coming early have changed at all. I'm still fairly confident that he's not going to be making an appearance too soon, though I don't think J would mind it much if he did.
In other news, my dad has taken off on another of his crazy bicycle trips. He and a friend are riding through Montana and North Dakota for the next couple of weeks, and we're all trying very hard to avoid thinking about what happened last year. Naturally, they're riding right through the massive heat wave that's hitting the West right now. It's been hotter up there than it has been here in El Paso!
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Thirty Days
Well, this is it. My due date is 30 days from today, and as excited as I am to meet my son, I'm also feeling totally overwhelmed and unprepared. Certain pieces do seem to be falling into place rather nicely, though, and right now it looks like Juan will be able to take a week of vacation after his 4 days of paternity leave are up. My parents will be arriving just before he goes back to work, and that should leave me with constant help/support at home for the first two weeks or so of my life as a mom.
The good news for me is that the baby doesn't seem to be in a big hurry to come yet. I've only had (what I think was) one real contraction, my Braxton Hicks are still irregular and infrequent, and while I know I've dropped a bit, I'm still carrying fairly high. Our last doctor's appointment confirmed that he's head-down, which is good, and my doctor and I had a nice talk about what I do and don't want during labor and delivery. I see him again on Friday.
Hopefully my posts for the next 30 days will all be as dull as this one. STAY PUT, LITTLE BABY!!!
The good news for me is that the baby doesn't seem to be in a big hurry to come yet. I've only had (what I think was) one real contraction, my Braxton Hicks are still irregular and infrequent, and while I know I've dropped a bit, I'm still carrying fairly high. Our last doctor's appointment confirmed that he's head-down, which is good, and my doctor and I had a nice talk about what I do and don't want during labor and delivery. I see him again on Friday.
Hopefully my posts for the next 30 days will all be as dull as this one. STAY PUT, LITTLE BABY!!!
Friday, June 22, 2007
Happy Dance!
I cannot even tell you all how happy I am that today has come. Today marks the END of one of the worst classes I have ever had the displeasure of taking. I'm not joking when I said that every time I opened up the class website (online class, which should have been the first sign that it was going to be hellish) I actually groaned out loud. E-mails from the professor generally caused me to utter multiple four letter words, assignments made me feel like ripping my hair out, and I generally saw every day as a new opportunity to complain about something else I had to do for the class. Part of the reason why I haven't been posting much lately is that I've been in such a bad mood about the class that I didn't have much else to say except for "AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!" on a daily basis.
But now it's over. I just submitted my final paper, and now I'm free as a bird! Well, a bird who has one (mostly good) class to finish and 9 weeks worth of lesson plans to write. Still, it's progress, and I hope to be back to more regular blogging soon.
Oh, and on a somewhat related note (related in that I'm happy about it) Juan is watching the last episode of Stargate: SG1 as I type. Let's just say that I never quite...appreciated this show the way he does, and I'm not exactly upset that it's ending. Sorry sweetie, I hope you find a new show that I actually like to replace this one!
But now it's over. I just submitted my final paper, and now I'm free as a bird! Well, a bird who has one (mostly good) class to finish and 9 weeks worth of lesson plans to write. Still, it's progress, and I hope to be back to more regular blogging soon.
Oh, and on a somewhat related note (related in that I'm happy about it) Juan is watching the last episode of Stargate: SG1 as I type. Let's just say that I never quite...appreciated this show the way he does, and I'm not exactly upset that it's ending. Sorry sweetie, I hope you find a new show that I actually like to replace this one!
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Open Letter to the Weather Gods
Dear Weather Gods,
Have you been talking to my swamp coolers? Because, seriously, enough already. First there was the wind (unbelievable wind, nonstop, all week) and then the rain. Oh yes, the rain. You see, this is supposed to be the dry season. You know, part of the 11 months of the year when we don't see a drop of precipitation. While I wouldn't complain about the occasional light rainshower (note the emphasis on the word "light") I have to raise some objections to the massive downpour/hailstorm you sent my way this afternoon. In fact, the storm hit just as I was driving to the vet for the dog's appointment and mysteriously cleared up as soon as I left for home. Funny how that works, isn't it?
The story doesn't stop there, though. Oh no, you decided to play one last trick on me today. See, the whole city didn't actually get rain. The East side? Check. Central? Check. West side? Eh, mostly. The one part of town that is still bone dry? The part where I live. That's right, I still have to pay $$$ this week to water my lawn just so it doesn't dry to a crisp. This, while the rest of the city is practically underwater.
You are cruel, Weather Gods, and I'm not pleased at all with you at the moment.
Sincerely,
C
P.S. Oh, and if you thought that I hadn't noticed that my estimated due date happens to be exactly a year and a day after the flooding started last year. You pull that crap again and we WILL have problems.
Have you been talking to my swamp coolers? Because, seriously, enough already. First there was the wind (unbelievable wind, nonstop, all week) and then the rain. Oh yes, the rain. You see, this is supposed to be the dry season. You know, part of the 11 months of the year when we don't see a drop of precipitation. While I wouldn't complain about the occasional light rainshower (note the emphasis on the word "light") I have to raise some objections to the massive downpour/hailstorm you sent my way this afternoon. In fact, the storm hit just as I was driving to the vet for the dog's appointment and mysteriously cleared up as soon as I left for home. Funny how that works, isn't it?
The story doesn't stop there, though. Oh no, you decided to play one last trick on me today. See, the whole city didn't actually get rain. The East side? Check. Central? Check. West side? Eh, mostly. The one part of town that is still bone dry? The part where I live. That's right, I still have to pay $$$ this week to water my lawn just so it doesn't dry to a crisp. This, while the rest of the city is practically underwater.
You are cruel, Weather Gods, and I'm not pleased at all with you at the moment.
Sincerely,
C
P.S. Oh, and if you thought that I hadn't noticed that my estimated due date happens to be exactly a year and a day after the flooding started last year. You pull that crap again and we WILL have problems.
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