We made a visit to the lactation consultant today. Breastfeeding has been an uphill battle for us over the last 6 days, and when it got to the point where I was bleeding, we decided we needed some help. The good news is that the LC was very helpful and we seem to have located the source of the problem. We're supposed to do some simple exercises with Luke prior to every feeding to help him learn how to properly position his tongue to feed. I'm still worried about how we're going to do long-term, but at least for now I think things will improve.
I never knew just how upsetting and all-consuming it can be to feed a newborn. When we came home from the hospital, Luke really wasn't getting enough to eat. We didn't realize it for several hours, and when we did we had no choice but to give him a couple of bottles. Then the pediatrician told us that he'd lost a bit more weight than she'd like to see (around 11% of his birthweight) and I felt horrible. Intellectually I know that we did the best we possibly could for him on that difficult third day of life. Things have gotten SO much better since then (thank goodness my milk came in quickly), and we know that he's getting enough. The lactation consultant was very reassuring on that point. Still, I spend virtually all day, every day thinking about how much Luke is eating. Is he getting enough? Is he really done with a feeding or is he just getting sleepy because his tummy is starting to fill up? Will he have a long enough nap after this feeding for me to take one?
Breastfeeding is hard. I truly, truly believe that it's the best thing I can be doing for him right now, but I can really understand now why many women give up. It's hard. Very, very hard.
Edited to Add:
We're back from the pediatrician and Luke has gained 6 oz! He needed to gain at least 3 to be back on track weight-wise, so we're pretty happy with 6.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Baby Luke--Day 4
I don't think I ever fully appreciated just how much a child can turn your world upside down until this week. Everything revolves around the needs of this little, tiny being. It's exhausting, but also wonderful. I had no idea.
Luke is doing pretty well for someone who's only 4 days old. We had a really rough day on Sunday because he wasn't getting enough to eat, and while I'm committed to breastfeeding for the forseeable future, it was such a relief to know that he wasn't going to go hungry or get dehydrated as long as we supplemented with formula. Things really turned around early Monday morning when my milk came in, and we've been doing very well since then. He was circumcized today (which could really be a post in and of itself, but just thinking about the three hours we spent at the pediatric clinic this morning is making me hyperventilate again, so I'll save that one for another day) and we have yet another broken swamp cooler, so keeping him comfortable has been top priority. It's also been harder than it probably should be, but we're doing our best.
Vital stats--8 lbs 2 oz at birth, 7 lbs. 5 oz. at his well-child visit today. It's a bit more weight loss than our pediatrician wants to see, so we're going back in (*shudder*) on Friday to have another weight check. I'm pretty sure Sunday's setbacks are to blame, but I'm glad that our ped is keeping on top of things and making sure that he starts gaining again. We also got his official length, which was missing from the paperwork we got at discharge. He's 19.5 inches, which puts him near the top of the charts. Just looking at his feet (he's definitely got Juan's Hobbit feet) you can tell that this kid is going to be tall.
Likes: the Baby Papasan, Mama, Daddy, FOOD, and snuggles
Dislikes: the heat, spitting up, getting hungry, and not being able to chew on his fists at all times
And finally, a few more pictures--I may not be the most impartial judge here, but I think he's the cutest baby ever.
Playing with Daddy
Snuggles with Mama in the hospital
Coming home for the first time!
Luke is doing pretty well for someone who's only 4 days old. We had a really rough day on Sunday because he wasn't getting enough to eat, and while I'm committed to breastfeeding for the forseeable future, it was such a relief to know that he wasn't going to go hungry or get dehydrated as long as we supplemented with formula. Things really turned around early Monday morning when my milk came in, and we've been doing very well since then. He was circumcized today (which could really be a post in and of itself, but just thinking about the three hours we spent at the pediatric clinic this morning is making me hyperventilate again, so I'll save that one for another day) and we have yet another broken swamp cooler, so keeping him comfortable has been top priority. It's also been harder than it probably should be, but we're doing our best.
Vital stats--8 lbs 2 oz at birth, 7 lbs. 5 oz. at his well-child visit today. It's a bit more weight loss than our pediatrician wants to see, so we're going back in (*shudder*) on Friday to have another weight check. I'm pretty sure Sunday's setbacks are to blame, but I'm glad that our ped is keeping on top of things and making sure that he starts gaining again. We also got his official length, which was missing from the paperwork we got at discharge. He's 19.5 inches, which puts him near the top of the charts. Just looking at his feet (he's definitely got Juan's Hobbit feet) you can tell that this kid is going to be tall.
Likes: the Baby Papasan, Mama, Daddy, FOOD, and snuggles
Dislikes: the heat, spitting up, getting hungry, and not being able to chew on his fists at all times
And finally, a few more pictures--I may not be the most impartial judge here, but I think he's the cutest baby ever.
Playing with Daddy
Snuggles with Mama in the hospital
Coming home for the first time!
Monday, August 13, 2007
Introducing...
Lucas John, born 9:11 pm on August 10, 2007. 8 lbs, 2 oz, and absolutely beautiful.
More to come soon!
More to come soon!
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Watch as I distract you with a cute cat story
No baby yet, but we have had some interesting goings-on at our house lately that might at least distract everyone from the fact that this kid is now six (SIX!) days overdue.
Last week Codi and Arcadia decided to go on a rampage. One night they were fine, and the next they were holy terror kitties. They raced around our bedroom at 2:00 am (repeatedly using the bed we were sleeping in as a jumping-off point, of course), attacked each other, attacked US if we weren't actively petting them, and harassed the dog (who didn't really know what to do--he's usually the one chasing them) until he ran into his crate just to get away. In short, KITTIES FROM HELL replaced our normally sweet, cuddly girls.
J and I chalked it up to the full moon or possibly the changing weather. Animals are supposed to be sensitive to both, so we figured that it was just one of those weird cat phases that would pass. It did, however, strike me as odd that the main instigator of the chaos was Codi. For those of you who haven't met our cats in person (or who don't remember my string of Arcadia-centric posts last year) Codi is the calm one. She's the good cat who never acts out, even when she's deathly ill and really should be trying to get our attention in any way possible. Codi just doesn't DO things like bite your feet while you're trying to sleep or attempt to chase the dog.
In any case, after around 24 hours of kitty mayhem, they seemed to calm down. They started crying whenever they saw me, though, which is usually a sign that they're out of food. I checked the hidden nook upstairs where we keep their dishes, and sure enough there wasn't a speck of food left. Piggy kitties had gone through two heaping bowls in less than 48 hours, which was almost a new record for them. When I went to pick up the bowls to refill them, though, I noticed something was in their water bowl. It was small, brown, and had clearly been dropped in there by a cat who couldn't decide if she wanted to play or have a drink.
When I pulled the object out, I immediately realized exactly why my girls had been such holy terrors for the last day. You see, it wasn't just any cat toy they had put in their (full) water bowl. Oh no, it was a catnip stuffed bear.
Catnip stuffed toy in a bowl of water. Picture that for a moment. Then picture the water I poured out of said bowl.
It was BROWN, ladies and gentlemen. Once the water had soaked through the bear, the catnip had steeped in the water creating a kind of tea that Codi and Arcadia had been drinking for at least a day. At some point it clearly got too strong for them, so they switched to the downstairs water bowls (which probably explains why their behavior normalized) but still. They were drinking CATNIP TEA and were high as kites until they switched to the fresh water!
In any case, I'm now keeping a very close eye on all of their catnip toys and making sure to check the bowl at least once a day. I think they learned their lesson--neither of them has played with that particular bear since it happened--but you never know.
Last week Codi and Arcadia decided to go on a rampage. One night they were fine, and the next they were holy terror kitties. They raced around our bedroom at 2:00 am (repeatedly using the bed we were sleeping in as a jumping-off point, of course), attacked each other, attacked US if we weren't actively petting them, and harassed the dog (who didn't really know what to do--he's usually the one chasing them) until he ran into his crate just to get away. In short, KITTIES FROM HELL replaced our normally sweet, cuddly girls.
J and I chalked it up to the full moon or possibly the changing weather. Animals are supposed to be sensitive to both, so we figured that it was just one of those weird cat phases that would pass. It did, however, strike me as odd that the main instigator of the chaos was Codi. For those of you who haven't met our cats in person (or who don't remember my string of Arcadia-centric posts last year) Codi is the calm one. She's the good cat who never acts out, even when she's deathly ill and really should be trying to get our attention in any way possible. Codi just doesn't DO things like bite your feet while you're trying to sleep or attempt to chase the dog.
In any case, after around 24 hours of kitty mayhem, they seemed to calm down. They started crying whenever they saw me, though, which is usually a sign that they're out of food. I checked the hidden nook upstairs where we keep their dishes, and sure enough there wasn't a speck of food left. Piggy kitties had gone through two heaping bowls in less than 48 hours, which was almost a new record for them. When I went to pick up the bowls to refill them, though, I noticed something was in their water bowl. It was small, brown, and had clearly been dropped in there by a cat who couldn't decide if she wanted to play or have a drink.
When I pulled the object out, I immediately realized exactly why my girls had been such holy terrors for the last day. You see, it wasn't just any cat toy they had put in their (full) water bowl. Oh no, it was a catnip stuffed bear.
Catnip stuffed toy in a bowl of water. Picture that for a moment. Then picture the water I poured out of said bowl.
It was BROWN, ladies and gentlemen. Once the water had soaked through the bear, the catnip had steeped in the water creating a kind of tea that Codi and Arcadia had been drinking for at least a day. At some point it clearly got too strong for them, so they switched to the downstairs water bowls (which probably explains why their behavior normalized) but still. They were drinking CATNIP TEA and were high as kites until they switched to the fresh water!
In any case, I'm now keeping a very close eye on all of their catnip toys and making sure to check the bowl at least once a day. I think they learned their lesson--neither of them has played with that particular bear since it happened--but you never know.
Monday, August 06, 2007
Okay, OW!
I think I overdid it today.
In an effort to trick my body into going into labor, I've made all kinds of elaborate plans for the next seven days. Today I lugged all off the school supplies I bought over the weekend to my classroom in the hopes of getting the boxes that were already there unpacked. The administration moved me to a different room last weekend (at my request--I didn't want to be in the stinky hallway anymore) so I also needed to check out the furniture situation in my new digs.
Three hours later my room looks great (seriously, it rocks) but my back, pelvis, and feet are KILLING ME. I don't think I've been this sore since our move last year.
Baby is kicking away, so I know that he's doing well, but I feel like crap. It's all I could do to lift my foot from the gas to the brake while I was driving home, and now I've collapsed into a giant, moaning heap on the couch. Think I could train Jasper to get me a snack from the fridge?
Tomorrow is supposed to be devoted to finishing up some lesson planning and writing out the calendar for my long-term sub, and then I have a meeting with said sub on Wednesday. Also on Wednesday--makeup shopping. Then I'm going to do some serious art shopping on Thursday (after 13 months, J and I finally hung up some pictures yesterday and now I'm on a roll) followed by cooking/baking for post-baby meals on Friday. After today, though, sitting in my recliner and knitting for the next week sounds pretty good!
Of course, I'm really hoping that all of my activity will convince my body to just go into labor already, and I reserve the right to be seriously ticked off if it doesn't work.
In an effort to trick my body into going into labor, I've made all kinds of elaborate plans for the next seven days. Today I lugged all off the school supplies I bought over the weekend to my classroom in the hopes of getting the boxes that were already there unpacked. The administration moved me to a different room last weekend (at my request--I didn't want to be in the stinky hallway anymore) so I also needed to check out the furniture situation in my new digs.
Three hours later my room looks great (seriously, it rocks) but my back, pelvis, and feet are KILLING ME. I don't think I've been this sore since our move last year.
Baby is kicking away, so I know that he's doing well, but I feel like crap. It's all I could do to lift my foot from the gas to the brake while I was driving home, and now I've collapsed into a giant, moaning heap on the couch. Think I could train Jasper to get me a snack from the fridge?
Tomorrow is supposed to be devoted to finishing up some lesson planning and writing out the calendar for my long-term sub, and then I have a meeting with said sub on Wednesday. Also on Wednesday--makeup shopping. Then I'm going to do some serious art shopping on Thursday (after 13 months, J and I finally hung up some pictures yesterday and now I'm on a roll) followed by cooking/baking for post-baby meals on Friday. After today, though, sitting in my recliner and knitting for the next week sounds pretty good!
Of course, I'm really hoping that all of my activity will convince my body to just go into labor already, and I reserve the right to be seriously ticked off if it doesn't work.
Saturday, August 04, 2007
No baby, but hey look at what I found at Target!
My 40 week appointment wasn't much fun. I still haven't made any progress whatsoever in spite of the fact that the baby's head is as far down as it can come. He's clearly ready, but my body has just decided that it would really rather stay pregnant forever, thankyouverymuch. The induction that I had assumed would be scheduled for late next week isn't going to be until the 13th thanks to a conference my doctor has to attend in DC. The news that I very possibly may have to stay pregnant for another 10 days (and that saying that my induction will be on the 13th is a bit disingenuous since I'll just go in that night to start Cervadil before really hitting the Pitocin hard the next morning) did not sit very well with me. In fact, I actually started crying a bit. So, it's no wonder that I left the hospital in a rather foul mood, which was compounded by the fact that we had even more rainstorms pass through yesterday.
I woke up in a slightly better mood this morning, though, so J and I went out for breakfast. Afterwards we headed to Target since the 4 Tums I had left in my last bottle clearly weren't going to be enough to sustain me for the next 9+ days. Once there, though, we hit the mother load. SCHOOL SUPPLY SALE!!! By "sale" I mean $.20 glue sticks, scissors, Crayola markers and crayons, 10 for $1 packs of spiral notebooks, etc... In other words, every teacher's wish come true. I loaded up a cart with the best of the goodies, and we headed over to the home improvement section to buy a thingamajig for an electronics project Juan is working on.
Before we got there, though, we glanced at the home decor department and found THE PERFECT RUG. We've been searching high and low for THE PERFECT RUG since we moved into our house last summer and realized that hardwood floors like ours need rugs. Pretty rugs. PERFECT rugs. We're too picky for our own good, though, because everything we saw had something wrong with it. This one had too much green, that one was too thin, and the one over there cost $700. THE PERFECT RUG, however, is, well, perfect. It's red and dark orange, looks fantastic with our redwood baseboards, and even compliments my armchair, which is may be the hardest piece of furniture in the world to match something with. It was also less than $100, making it THE PERFECT RUG.
Jasper thinks that it's Christmas morning or something, he's that happy about the rug (why? Who knows.) and I must say that getting all of the supplies my classroom will need for the next year has made me a very happy camper. I'm still not thrilled by the thought of staying pregnant for another week and a half (not to mention the though of a lengthy induction) but today's finds have certainly perked up my mood. Never discount the benefits of retail therapy, my friends. Never.
I woke up in a slightly better mood this morning, though, so J and I went out for breakfast. Afterwards we headed to Target since the 4 Tums I had left in my last bottle clearly weren't going to be enough to sustain me for the next 9+ days. Once there, though, we hit the mother load. SCHOOL SUPPLY SALE!!! By "sale" I mean $.20 glue sticks, scissors, Crayola markers and crayons, 10 for $1 packs of spiral notebooks, etc... In other words, every teacher's wish come true. I loaded up a cart with the best of the goodies, and we headed over to the home improvement section to buy a thingamajig for an electronics project Juan is working on.
Before we got there, though, we glanced at the home decor department and found THE PERFECT RUG. We've been searching high and low for THE PERFECT RUG since we moved into our house last summer and realized that hardwood floors like ours need rugs. Pretty rugs. PERFECT rugs. We're too picky for our own good, though, because everything we saw had something wrong with it. This one had too much green, that one was too thin, and the one over there cost $700. THE PERFECT RUG, however, is, well, perfect. It's red and dark orange, looks fantastic with our redwood baseboards, and even compliments my armchair, which is may be the hardest piece of furniture in the world to match something with. It was also less than $100, making it THE PERFECT RUG.
Jasper thinks that it's Christmas morning or something, he's that happy about the rug (why? Who knows.) and I must say that getting all of the supplies my classroom will need for the next year has made me a very happy camper. I'm still not thrilled by the thought of staying pregnant for another week and a half (not to mention the though of a lengthy induction) but today's finds have certainly perked up my mood. Never discount the benefits of retail therapy, my friends. Never.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
EDD
Well, it's here. My due date. Apparently nobody forwarded that memo to the baby, though, because he seems to be perfectly content to stay right where he is.
Actually, in spite of the fact that I may or may not have promised to give him lots and lots of presents if he decides that today is a good day to have a birthday, I'm okay if he just hangs out for a little longer. We just had the worst rainstorm of the season (it's starting to slow down now) and many of the roads between our house and the hospital aren't in great shape.
That said, we're serving him an eviction notice at my appointment tomorrow. My doctor doesn't want me to go much past 40 weeks, so we'll schedule an induction for sometime next week, though hopefully I'll go into labor on my own before then.
I know I've said it before, but I just can't believe how quickly this pregnancy has gone by. A year ago we were just starting to work with the amazing Dr. M, and now I'm getting ready to have a baby. Un-freaking-believable.
Actually, in spite of the fact that I may or may not have promised to give him lots and lots of presents if he decides that today is a good day to have a birthday, I'm okay if he just hangs out for a little longer. We just had the worst rainstorm of the season (it's starting to slow down now) and many of the roads between our house and the hospital aren't in great shape.
That said, we're serving him an eviction notice at my appointment tomorrow. My doctor doesn't want me to go much past 40 weeks, so we'll schedule an induction for sometime next week, though hopefully I'll go into labor on my own before then.
I know I've said it before, but I just can't believe how quickly this pregnancy has gone by. A year ago we were just starting to work with the amazing Dr. M, and now I'm getting ready to have a baby. Un-freaking-believable.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Why August is maybe not the best time to have a baby in El Paso
Exhibit A:
Exhibit B:
Exhibit C:
5-Day Forecast for El Paso, TX
TUE
Overcast
A few tstorms. Overcast.
87º / 67º
WED
Cloudy
Isolated tstorms late. Cloudy.
91º / 70º
THU
Overcast
Thunderstorms. Overcast.
90º / 71º
FRI
Overcast
Widely scattered tstorms. Overcast.
87º / 71º
SAT
Cloudy
Isolated tstorms late. Cloudy.
91º / 68º
Exhibit B:
Exhibit C:
5-Day Forecast for El Paso, TX
TUE
Overcast
A few tstorms. Overcast.
87º / 67º
WED
Cloudy
Isolated tstorms late. Cloudy.
91º / 70º
THU
Overcast
Thunderstorms. Overcast.
90º / 71º
FRI
Overcast
Widely scattered tstorms. Overcast.
87º / 71º
SAT
Cloudy
Isolated tstorms late. Cloudy.
91º / 68º
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Programming Note
I just went through my woefully small blogroll and added a number of blogs that I've started reading in the last year or so since I last updated it. If you're looking for some great new blogs, poke around and check out some of these amazing ladies (and gentlemen) that I've listed. More will be added soon as I slowly sift through my enormous bookmarks folder.
And, just in case anyone is interested, there's still no news on the baby front. Even after a full day of walking around yesterday (and more planned for tomorrow when these storms let up) I didn't have a single contraction.
And, just in case anyone is interested, there's still no news on the baby front. Even after a full day of walking around yesterday (and more planned for tomorrow when these storms let up) I didn't have a single contraction.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Seven Days
39 weeks down, one more to go. I'm alternating between feeling like this kid can't come quickly enough (J predicts his arrival daily) and telling him very sternly that August 2 is the absolute earliest date he's allowed to decide it's time to met Mom and Dad. For their parts, my extended family has started betting on due dates (I've got August 4) and every time I call my parents to chat or pass on some piece of information I hear a little note of disappointment in their voices when I have to say that no, nothing is happening on the baby front.
In short, everyone (except possibly me) thinks that it should be baby time!
On a related note, the nursery is done and I think it looks fantastic!
Here you can see the bookcase that J just finished making last weekend. Clearly, we are far from completing our picture book collection!
You can hardly see it, but on top of the bookcase is a wooden pull toy (a train of zoo animals) that holds a very special place in our hearts. J and I bought it at a craft fair back in Maryland during one of the darkest months of our infertility struggles. I saw it, fell in love, and proceeded to spend the next two hours agonizing over whether or not to buy it. J persuaded me that I'd regret it if I didn't, and that buying it wouldn't jinx anything, so I took a deep breath and pulled out my credit card. When we got home I put it (still in the bag) on the top shelf of our guest room closet. I didn't open the bag again until last weekend, when I put it on top of the bookcase. I can't even describe what that felt like--just the act of pulling it out, dusting it off, and throwing that old bag away was a victory.
One more vistory, and one more week to (officially) go until motherhood. Maybe I'm more ready for this than I think I am.
In short, everyone (except possibly me) thinks that it should be baby time!
On a related note, the nursery is done and I think it looks fantastic!
Here you can see the bookcase that J just finished making last weekend. Clearly, we are far from completing our picture book collection!
You can hardly see it, but on top of the bookcase is a wooden pull toy (a train of zoo animals) that holds a very special place in our hearts. J and I bought it at a craft fair back in Maryland during one of the darkest months of our infertility struggles. I saw it, fell in love, and proceeded to spend the next two hours agonizing over whether or not to buy it. J persuaded me that I'd regret it if I didn't, and that buying it wouldn't jinx anything, so I took a deep breath and pulled out my credit card. When we got home I put it (still in the bag) on the top shelf of our guest room closet. I didn't open the bag again until last weekend, when I put it on top of the bookcase. I can't even describe what that felt like--just the act of pulling it out, dusting it off, and throwing that old bag away was a victory.
One more vistory, and one more week to (officially) go until motherhood. Maybe I'm more ready for this than I think I am.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
One downside to being a speed reader
I gave in to the crazy last night and went to the midnight release of the final Harry Potter book. Thanks to some good company and a frappachino, I even managed to stay upbeat and excited while getting crushed by the million or so other people who simply had to have the book at the stroke of midnight.
Since I was smart and pre-ordered the book months ago, I only had to wait half an hour after the release to purchase my book and make my way home. I pulled in the driveway around 12:45, raced through my bedtime routine, and settled down to read. Which I did until around 2:30 am when I dozed off. I woke back up at 5:30, read for another hour, fell back asleep, and was up for good at 8:00.
I should mention that today has been Juan's only day off all week, so all he wanted to do was sleep and finish varnishing the baby's bookcase. Thus, no guilt trips from him about my plans to sit in my armchair and read all day long. And that's exactly what I did, taking only a couple of short breaks to eat and play with the pets.
I finished the book at 3:30 this afternoon. All 759 pages of it. Done. There are sooooooooo many things I want to discuss with someone else (anyone else!) who's also finished, but sadly it appears that once again my speed reading has worked against, rather than for me. None of my friends have finished it yet!
This is torture!
Since I was smart and pre-ordered the book months ago, I only had to wait half an hour after the release to purchase my book and make my way home. I pulled in the driveway around 12:45, raced through my bedtime routine, and settled down to read. Which I did until around 2:30 am when I dozed off. I woke back up at 5:30, read for another hour, fell back asleep, and was up for good at 8:00.
I should mention that today has been Juan's only day off all week, so all he wanted to do was sleep and finish varnishing the baby's bookcase. Thus, no guilt trips from him about my plans to sit in my armchair and read all day long. And that's exactly what I did, taking only a couple of short breaks to eat and play with the pets.
I finished the book at 3:30 this afternoon. All 759 pages of it. Done. There are sooooooooo many things I want to discuss with someone else (anyone else!) who's also finished, but sadly it appears that once again my speed reading has worked against, rather than for me. None of my friends have finished it yet!
This is torture!
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Practice Makes Perfect
Everyone keeps telling me that the wonders of late pregnancy (which, to date, include insomnia, pain, and an inability to just pack up and run away to the mountains when the heat here gets to be too much) are just preparing me for motherhood. And overall, I'm cool with that. I don't really need more than 4-5 hours of sleep a night and I can cope with quite a bit of discomfort--after all, I've already gone through an HSG, an endometrial biopsy, a hysteroscopy, and a laparoscopy for this baby, so what's a bit of pelvic pain and pressure every time I change positions? Even the mountain getaway doesn't bother me--it might be nice to hop in the car and drive 60 miles to cool New Mexico when the temperatures here hit the triple digits, but realistically we probably wouldn't have time/energy to go even if I wasn't pushing 38 weeks.
So overall, late pregnancy is agreeing with me almost as much as mid-pregnancy did. Early pregnancy can bite me, but that's a whole different post.
There's just one teeny tiny thing that's bugging me right now, though. Laundry. Oh, the laundry. Not just the insane first-time mom preparation laundry I'm doing for the baby, either. No, this is my personal laundry, which I'm doing at least twice a week now because I only have four tops and two pairs of pants left and I somehow manage to spill on at least one article of clothing every 7.5 hours. Ergo, LOTS of laundry is being done around here at the moment.
Again, this should simply serve to prepare me for motherhood. I'd be an idiot to think that baby doesn't equal lots and LOTS of laundry. Poopy laundry at that, which is at least one joy I'm not having to deal with just yet. Still, I would love to have a wardrobe large enough that would actually get me through an entire week without having to run a load or two. I'd love to be able to wear something other than my green tank with the beads or the red top with the little white flowers or the green t-shirt (that probably should be retired from the rotation due to bleached spots around the neckline, but that would leave me with only three shirts) or the white top with blue embroidery.
I swear, when I'm back down to my pre-pregnancy size I will never again look in my full-to-bursting closet and complain that I have nothing to wear.
I have 15 days left. It would be incredibly wasteful to spend money on more clothes at this point. I'd get to wear something new maybe 4-5 times before it wouldn't fit anymore thanks to the miracle of childbirth. And yet, I had to literally hold myself back from the maternity section at Target earlier today because the rack of $10 t-shirts was calling my name.
It's practice, C. It's just practice for the baby. The baby you've wanted so desperately for so long. What's a few loads of laundry when you think of that? Well, not much when you think about it that way, but boy it would be nice to actually get to wait until the hamper was full before having to face the washer and dryer.
So overall, late pregnancy is agreeing with me almost as much as mid-pregnancy did. Early pregnancy can bite me, but that's a whole different post.
There's just one teeny tiny thing that's bugging me right now, though. Laundry. Oh, the laundry. Not just the insane first-time mom preparation laundry I'm doing for the baby, either. No, this is my personal laundry, which I'm doing at least twice a week now because I only have four tops and two pairs of pants left and I somehow manage to spill on at least one article of clothing every 7.5 hours. Ergo, LOTS of laundry is being done around here at the moment.
Again, this should simply serve to prepare me for motherhood. I'd be an idiot to think that baby doesn't equal lots and LOTS of laundry. Poopy laundry at that, which is at least one joy I'm not having to deal with just yet. Still, I would love to have a wardrobe large enough that would actually get me through an entire week without having to run a load or two. I'd love to be able to wear something other than my green tank with the beads or the red top with the little white flowers or the green t-shirt (that probably should be retired from the rotation due to bleached spots around the neckline, but that would leave me with only three shirts) or the white top with blue embroidery.
I swear, when I'm back down to my pre-pregnancy size I will never again look in my full-to-bursting closet and complain that I have nothing to wear.
I have 15 days left. It would be incredibly wasteful to spend money on more clothes at this point. I'd get to wear something new maybe 4-5 times before it wouldn't fit anymore thanks to the miracle of childbirth. And yet, I had to literally hold myself back from the maternity section at Target earlier today because the rack of $10 t-shirts was calling my name.
It's practice, C. It's just practice for the baby. The baby you've wanted so desperately for so long. What's a few loads of laundry when you think of that? Well, not much when you think about it that way, but boy it would be nice to actually get to wait until the hamper was full before having to face the washer and dryer.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Don't scratch!
Have I ever mentioned that I'm highly allergic to mosquito bites?
Exhibit A:
Yes, highly allergic. Putting aside the fact that my feet are horribly swollen at the moment and the fact that I obviously need to vacuum my stairs, LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT BITE! Do you have any idea how hard it is not to scratch something this itchy that also happens to be the size of a pad of Post-Its?
So. Very. Itchy...
Oh, and Jasper would like you all to know that he doesn't approve of anyone taking a picture unless he's included in the shot.
Exhibit A:
Yes, highly allergic. Putting aside the fact that my feet are horribly swollen at the moment and the fact that I obviously need to vacuum my stairs, LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT BITE! Do you have any idea how hard it is not to scratch something this itchy that also happens to be the size of a pad of Post-Its?
So. Very. Itchy...
Oh, and Jasper would like you all to know that he doesn't approve of anyone taking a picture unless he's included in the shot.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Seeing Red(book)
It's been awhile since I last talked at length about infertility or a fertility-related topic. The tone of my blog has changed dramatically since I got pregnant, and while not all of the changes have been intentional, I have periodically wondered if it's appropriate for me to continue blogging about infertility given my audience (almost exclusively family and friends) and my pregnancy. I confess to self-censoring to a degree because I didn't know myself what I wanted to be--a mommy-to-be blogger or a former infertile blogger. I can't say that I've completely answered that question, but I hope to start to address it in the next weeks/months.
That said, there have been certain...controversies lately in a rather prominent part of the IF blogging world that have really struck a chord with me. In brief, Redbook hired Julia, one of my favorite infertility bloggers to write about her experiences as part of a new "Trying to Get Pregnant: The Infertility Diaries" blog they launched on their website. Julia, already the mother of one son, got pregnant with twins shortly after starting the new blog, but due to many past miscarriages she is far being from "out of the woods". Also hired was a Redbook staffer named Lili who was absent from the blog for the first few months of its existence. Redbook offered no explanation for Lili's absence other than to say that she would be back "in a few weeks."
Then, last week Lili wrote her first post which, among other things, gave the reason why she had yet to contribute to the blog. After five years of fertility treatments, she was just returning from maternity leave after having twins. Immediately, comments flooded in from readers who took offense not only to the overall tone of her post (which, in my opinion, reflected her status as an inexperienced blogger who had not given enough thought to her intended audience not a genuine insensitivity to the feelings of infertile readers) but to the fact that both of Redbook's infertility bloggers were parents. A handful of nasty personal comments were made about Lili that were completely uncalled for, but most of the comments urged Redbook to re-think their panel of bloggers and, at a minimum, add a new blogger who is currently undergoing treatments for primary infertility.
Neither Redbook nor Lili responded for several days, leaving the impression that they either had no idea how to handle a reader revolt or that they simply didn't care about the pain they had caused to many of their readers. Either way, it's not exactly the kind of impression they probably wanted to leave. Finally, a Redbook editor addressed the comments in a post today that essentially dismissed what readers were saying and declared the subject closed permanently.
For what it's worth, I do not believe that blame for this situation should be laid solely at Lili's feet. She has simply been the scapegoat for Redbook's egregious lack of foresight and empathy. In fact, I feel quite a bit of sympathy for her since I'm also no longer considered a member of the IF club by many of the women I grew to know and care about during the roughly two years it took us to get pregnant. Those of us who have "turned the corner" as it were still deal with many of the emotional ramifications of infertility even though we have gotten pregnant, and it's not easy to suddenly feel excluded from IF's tight-knit support network when that happens.
The thing is, a positive pregnancy test (or even an almost full-term pregnancy) doesn't heal the wounds infertility causes. It doesn't erase the days and nights I spent hurting, doesn't repair the friendships I lost during those years, and it doesn't negate the experiences I had in getting to this point. The truth is, I still feel uncomfortable talking about my pregnancy with those who don't know our story. I don't like having to smile and nod when hearing stories about other women's "oops" pregnancies. It makes me angry to see Nicole Richie (who is, in my opinion, the last woman on earth who should probably be a parent) on the cover of US Weekly declaring "I'm Pregnant!". I am thankful for this pregnancy every day, and I know that my experiences in getting here will make me a more thoughtful and grateful parent than I probably would have been if we had been able to conceive easily. I'm still hurting, though. That pain might go away someday, but I won't be surprised if it doesn't. It's part of who I am now. I alluded to this in my post about my baby shower last month, but didn't write extensively on the topic since I was still trying to figure out my reaction for myself.
I suppose that in the end, nothing about infertility is fair or easy. What angers me most about the Redbook situation is that instead of directing anger at the editors who did not bother to consider the feelings of their readers or their bloggers, we have once again directed it at one of our own who is doubtless still dealing with the emotional toll infertility takes.
That said, there have been certain...controversies lately in a rather prominent part of the IF blogging world that have really struck a chord with me. In brief, Redbook hired Julia, one of my favorite infertility bloggers to write about her experiences as part of a new "Trying to Get Pregnant: The Infertility Diaries" blog they launched on their website. Julia, already the mother of one son, got pregnant with twins shortly after starting the new blog, but due to many past miscarriages she is far being from "out of the woods". Also hired was a Redbook staffer named Lili who was absent from the blog for the first few months of its existence. Redbook offered no explanation for Lili's absence other than to say that she would be back "in a few weeks."
Then, last week Lili wrote her first post which, among other things, gave the reason why she had yet to contribute to the blog. After five years of fertility treatments, she was just returning from maternity leave after having twins. Immediately, comments flooded in from readers who took offense not only to the overall tone of her post (which, in my opinion, reflected her status as an inexperienced blogger who had not given enough thought to her intended audience not a genuine insensitivity to the feelings of infertile readers) but to the fact that both of Redbook's infertility bloggers were parents. A handful of nasty personal comments were made about Lili that were completely uncalled for, but most of the comments urged Redbook to re-think their panel of bloggers and, at a minimum, add a new blogger who is currently undergoing treatments for primary infertility.
Neither Redbook nor Lili responded for several days, leaving the impression that they either had no idea how to handle a reader revolt or that they simply didn't care about the pain they had caused to many of their readers. Either way, it's not exactly the kind of impression they probably wanted to leave. Finally, a Redbook editor addressed the comments in a post today that essentially dismissed what readers were saying and declared the subject closed permanently.
For what it's worth, I do not believe that blame for this situation should be laid solely at Lili's feet. She has simply been the scapegoat for Redbook's egregious lack of foresight and empathy. In fact, I feel quite a bit of sympathy for her since I'm also no longer considered a member of the IF club by many of the women I grew to know and care about during the roughly two years it took us to get pregnant. Those of us who have "turned the corner" as it were still deal with many of the emotional ramifications of infertility even though we have gotten pregnant, and it's not easy to suddenly feel excluded from IF's tight-knit support network when that happens.
The thing is, a positive pregnancy test (or even an almost full-term pregnancy) doesn't heal the wounds infertility causes. It doesn't erase the days and nights I spent hurting, doesn't repair the friendships I lost during those years, and it doesn't negate the experiences I had in getting to this point. The truth is, I still feel uncomfortable talking about my pregnancy with those who don't know our story. I don't like having to smile and nod when hearing stories about other women's "oops" pregnancies. It makes me angry to see Nicole Richie (who is, in my opinion, the last woman on earth who should probably be a parent) on the cover of US Weekly declaring "I'm Pregnant!". I am thankful for this pregnancy every day, and I know that my experiences in getting here will make me a more thoughtful and grateful parent than I probably would have been if we had been able to conceive easily. I'm still hurting, though. That pain might go away someday, but I won't be surprised if it doesn't. It's part of who I am now. I alluded to this in my post about my baby shower last month, but didn't write extensively on the topic since I was still trying to figure out my reaction for myself.
I suppose that in the end, nothing about infertility is fair or easy. What angers me most about the Redbook situation is that instead of directing anger at the editors who did not bother to consider the feelings of their readers or their bloggers, we have once again directed it at one of our own who is doubtless still dealing with the emotional toll infertility takes.
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Some Assembly Required
My husband is either a saint or a crazy person. After spending a week working nights (a new experience for both of us, since he was only expected to work overnight call once a week while he was an intern) he started his weekend off not by immediately heading upstairs to take a much-needed nap when he got home, but by installing the carseat in both our cars and assembling two strollers. Something tells me that hearing my doctor say "We're just waiting on baby to decide when he wants to come" yesterday struck a chord with him because there was no stopping him until everything was assembled.
So, I now have an infant seat in my car and can even take it out for a spin in a stroller if I want to. Yikes!
Not that my thoughts about the baby coming early have changed at all. I'm still fairly confident that he's not going to be making an appearance too soon, though I don't think J would mind it much if he did.
In other news, my dad has taken off on another of his crazy bicycle trips. He and a friend are riding through Montana and North Dakota for the next couple of weeks, and we're all trying very hard to avoid thinking about what happened last year. Naturally, they're riding right through the massive heat wave that's hitting the West right now. It's been hotter up there than it has been here in El Paso!
So, I now have an infant seat in my car and can even take it out for a spin in a stroller if I want to. Yikes!
Not that my thoughts about the baby coming early have changed at all. I'm still fairly confident that he's not going to be making an appearance too soon, though I don't think J would mind it much if he did.
In other news, my dad has taken off on another of his crazy bicycle trips. He and a friend are riding through Montana and North Dakota for the next couple of weeks, and we're all trying very hard to avoid thinking about what happened last year. Naturally, they're riding right through the massive heat wave that's hitting the West right now. It's been hotter up there than it has been here in El Paso!
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Thirty Days
Well, this is it. My due date is 30 days from today, and as excited as I am to meet my son, I'm also feeling totally overwhelmed and unprepared. Certain pieces do seem to be falling into place rather nicely, though, and right now it looks like Juan will be able to take a week of vacation after his 4 days of paternity leave are up. My parents will be arriving just before he goes back to work, and that should leave me with constant help/support at home for the first two weeks or so of my life as a mom.
The good news for me is that the baby doesn't seem to be in a big hurry to come yet. I've only had (what I think was) one real contraction, my Braxton Hicks are still irregular and infrequent, and while I know I've dropped a bit, I'm still carrying fairly high. Our last doctor's appointment confirmed that he's head-down, which is good, and my doctor and I had a nice talk about what I do and don't want during labor and delivery. I see him again on Friday.
Hopefully my posts for the next 30 days will all be as dull as this one. STAY PUT, LITTLE BABY!!!
The good news for me is that the baby doesn't seem to be in a big hurry to come yet. I've only had (what I think was) one real contraction, my Braxton Hicks are still irregular and infrequent, and while I know I've dropped a bit, I'm still carrying fairly high. Our last doctor's appointment confirmed that he's head-down, which is good, and my doctor and I had a nice talk about what I do and don't want during labor and delivery. I see him again on Friday.
Hopefully my posts for the next 30 days will all be as dull as this one. STAY PUT, LITTLE BABY!!!
Friday, June 22, 2007
Happy Dance!
I cannot even tell you all how happy I am that today has come. Today marks the END of one of the worst classes I have ever had the displeasure of taking. I'm not joking when I said that every time I opened up the class website (online class, which should have been the first sign that it was going to be hellish) I actually groaned out loud. E-mails from the professor generally caused me to utter multiple four letter words, assignments made me feel like ripping my hair out, and I generally saw every day as a new opportunity to complain about something else I had to do for the class. Part of the reason why I haven't been posting much lately is that I've been in such a bad mood about the class that I didn't have much else to say except for "AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!" on a daily basis.
But now it's over. I just submitted my final paper, and now I'm free as a bird! Well, a bird who has one (mostly good) class to finish and 9 weeks worth of lesson plans to write. Still, it's progress, and I hope to be back to more regular blogging soon.
Oh, and on a somewhat related note (related in that I'm happy about it) Juan is watching the last episode of Stargate: SG1 as I type. Let's just say that I never quite...appreciated this show the way he does, and I'm not exactly upset that it's ending. Sorry sweetie, I hope you find a new show that I actually like to replace this one!
But now it's over. I just submitted my final paper, and now I'm free as a bird! Well, a bird who has one (mostly good) class to finish and 9 weeks worth of lesson plans to write. Still, it's progress, and I hope to be back to more regular blogging soon.
Oh, and on a somewhat related note (related in that I'm happy about it) Juan is watching the last episode of Stargate: SG1 as I type. Let's just say that I never quite...appreciated this show the way he does, and I'm not exactly upset that it's ending. Sorry sweetie, I hope you find a new show that I actually like to replace this one!
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Open Letter to the Weather Gods
Dear Weather Gods,
Have you been talking to my swamp coolers? Because, seriously, enough already. First there was the wind (unbelievable wind, nonstop, all week) and then the rain. Oh yes, the rain. You see, this is supposed to be the dry season. You know, part of the 11 months of the year when we don't see a drop of precipitation. While I wouldn't complain about the occasional light rainshower (note the emphasis on the word "light") I have to raise some objections to the massive downpour/hailstorm you sent my way this afternoon. In fact, the storm hit just as I was driving to the vet for the dog's appointment and mysteriously cleared up as soon as I left for home. Funny how that works, isn't it?
The story doesn't stop there, though. Oh no, you decided to play one last trick on me today. See, the whole city didn't actually get rain. The East side? Check. Central? Check. West side? Eh, mostly. The one part of town that is still bone dry? The part where I live. That's right, I still have to pay $$$ this week to water my lawn just so it doesn't dry to a crisp. This, while the rest of the city is practically underwater.
You are cruel, Weather Gods, and I'm not pleased at all with you at the moment.
Sincerely,
C
P.S. Oh, and if you thought that I hadn't noticed that my estimated due date happens to be exactly a year and a day after the flooding started last year. You pull that crap again and we WILL have problems.
Have you been talking to my swamp coolers? Because, seriously, enough already. First there was the wind (unbelievable wind, nonstop, all week) and then the rain. Oh yes, the rain. You see, this is supposed to be the dry season. You know, part of the 11 months of the year when we don't see a drop of precipitation. While I wouldn't complain about the occasional light rainshower (note the emphasis on the word "light") I have to raise some objections to the massive downpour/hailstorm you sent my way this afternoon. In fact, the storm hit just as I was driving to the vet for the dog's appointment and mysteriously cleared up as soon as I left for home. Funny how that works, isn't it?
The story doesn't stop there, though. Oh no, you decided to play one last trick on me today. See, the whole city didn't actually get rain. The East side? Check. Central? Check. West side? Eh, mostly. The one part of town that is still bone dry? The part where I live. That's right, I still have to pay $$$ this week to water my lawn just so it doesn't dry to a crisp. This, while the rest of the city is practically underwater.
You are cruel, Weather Gods, and I'm not pleased at all with you at the moment.
Sincerely,
C
P.S. Oh, and if you thought that I hadn't noticed that my estimated due date happens to be exactly a year and a day after the flooding started last year. You pull that crap again and we WILL have problems.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Open letter to my swamp coolers
Dear Swamp Coolers,
Why do you hate me? Is it because J and I frequently talk about replacing you with refrigerated air? Is it because we didn't replace the winter covers after they blew off in February? Is it because you think I need to clean the house more often? I really can't figure out why you have such a vendetta against me, but you clearly do because you broke last week and then broke again today.
Seriously, what's the deal? Do I need to spend all my time scrubbing the kitchen? Swear up and down that the refrigerated air talk will stop? Sacrifice a goat? Please, just tell me and stop randomly breaking. I just can't handle any more days like this!
Sincerely,
C
Why do you hate me? Is it because J and I frequently talk about replacing you with refrigerated air? Is it because we didn't replace the winter covers after they blew off in February? Is it because you think I need to clean the house more often? I really can't figure out why you have such a vendetta against me, but you clearly do because you broke last week and then broke again today.
Seriously, what's the deal? Do I need to spend all my time scrubbing the kitchen? Swear up and down that the refrigerated air talk will stop? Sacrifice a goat? Please, just tell me and stop randomly breaking. I just can't handle any more days like this!
Sincerely,
C
Saturday, June 09, 2007
Holy baby explosion, Batman!
So, we went shopping today. To Babies R Us. And, well, there was a coupon. And some gift cards. And maybe we got a little carried away. Two hours later, our car was full to the brim with baby gear and we were significantly poorer. The nursery is shaping up nicely, though!
Pictures to come--we still have a bit of cleaning and assembling to do!
In other news, J graduated from internship today (WOO HOO!) and was named Internal Medicine Intern of the Year! He found out about it yesterday morning but let me be surprised when the award was actually announced. I was so surprised that I forgot to take a picture of him accepting the award, though. I'm pretty proud of him--he's worked so hard this year, and it's wonderful to see him get recognized for it.
Pictures to come--we still have a bit of cleaning and assembling to do!
In other news, J graduated from internship today (WOO HOO!) and was named Internal Medicine Intern of the Year! He found out about it yesterday morning but let me be surprised when the award was actually announced. I was so surprised that I forgot to take a picture of him accepting the award, though. I'm pretty proud of him--he's worked so hard this year, and it's wonderful to see him get recognized for it.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Back from the land of fry sauce and green Jell-o
I just got home from my last-vacation-before-baby trip to Salt Lake, and I had a great time with my family and old friends. It was the first time I'd been back since getting pregnant, and my mom and sister threw me a wonderful baby shower. Most of the guests were family friends who've known me since I was little, and one had even been a guest at the shower my mom's old job threw when she was pregnant with me. My parents certainly know how to maintain friendships!
It was strange to be the guest of honor at a baby shower. I avoided them like the plague while we were still trying to conceive, and as much fun as it was to play games and open box after box of adorable baby clothes and blankets, part of me felt very uncomfortable. Even at 32 weeks, I still can't quite believe that I'm going to be a mom soon and that infertility is (at least for the time being) behind me.
In any case, I'm home again now and starting to tackle all of my summer projects. Why do vacations make everything feel so discombobulated? I spent way too much time just playing catch-up this morning and I still feel like I'm out of the loop on everything. The house needs to be cleaned, laundry has to be done, and all the tasks (little and big) I deliberately put off until after I got back seem totally overwhelming at the moment. I hope other people feel this way right after they get home from a trip--it seems crazy to be disoriented like this after just a few days away.
On a related note, one of our swamp coolers broke last night. A belt (or something) snapped, which means that it's completely broken at the moment. Given that it's around 100 degrees outside right now, the remaining swamp cooler really isn't cooling the house very well. Guess my smug comment that I was going to spend the rest of the summer parked underneath one of the a/c vents came back to bite me. Send us lots of easy-to-fix vibes tonight, since J is going to try to get the swamp cooler back up and running once he gets home from work tonight.
It was strange to be the guest of honor at a baby shower. I avoided them like the plague while we were still trying to conceive, and as much fun as it was to play games and open box after box of adorable baby clothes and blankets, part of me felt very uncomfortable. Even at 32 weeks, I still can't quite believe that I'm going to be a mom soon and that infertility is (at least for the time being) behind me.
In any case, I'm home again now and starting to tackle all of my summer projects. Why do vacations make everything feel so discombobulated? I spent way too much time just playing catch-up this morning and I still feel like I'm out of the loop on everything. The house needs to be cleaned, laundry has to be done, and all the tasks (little and big) I deliberately put off until after I got back seem totally overwhelming at the moment. I hope other people feel this way right after they get home from a trip--it seems crazy to be disoriented like this after just a few days away.
On a related note, one of our swamp coolers broke last night. A belt (or something) snapped, which means that it's completely broken at the moment. Given that it's around 100 degrees outside right now, the remaining swamp cooler really isn't cooling the house very well. Guess my smug comment that I was going to spend the rest of the summer parked underneath one of the a/c vents came back to bite me. Send us lots of easy-to-fix vibes tonight, since J is going to try to get the swamp cooler back up and running once he gets home from work tonight.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Reality Bites
There are many things I find increasingly frustrating as I cross the line between teacher and student. When I'm at work I'm in charge, and after a year in the classroom I've gained incredibly valuable (in my opinion) real-world knowledge about what it means to be a teacher. While I'm at the university, though, my opinion doesn't count for much, especially in the eyes of professors who have either been out of the primary or secondary classroom for years or (worse) were never classroom teachers themselves. Time and again I've had professors tell me to do things that I know are totally unrealistic in an actual classroom. Just today I saw a professor publicly slam a high school principal for a disciplinary measure that, from my perspective, was completely appropriate given the situation. The professor's suggestion for how the matter should have been handled was completely unrealistic. He would have been laughed out of his own classroom had he attempted this "solution" with my high school students.
It's hard (if not impossible) to hold my tongue in these situations, but frequently I've decided that it's best for my grade if I just nod and smile. Let the professors, who by definition deal in theory rather than practice, live in their bubbles while those of us "in the trenches" continue to work with real kids who need real solutions when a problem arises.
My mentor teacher and I frequently commisserated about this issue last year when we were both taking classes. It just doesn't seem right that the people who are, at least in theory, educating educators are frequently so out of touch with the realities of what it's like to work with children.
It's hard (if not impossible) to hold my tongue in these situations, but frequently I've decided that it's best for my grade if I just nod and smile. Let the professors, who by definition deal in theory rather than practice, live in their bubbles while those of us "in the trenches" continue to work with real kids who need real solutions when a problem arises.
My mentor teacher and I frequently commisserated about this issue last year when we were both taking classes. It just doesn't seem right that the people who are, at least in theory, educating educators are frequently so out of touch with the realities of what it's like to work with children.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Since you asked...
M requested an updated belly picture, so here's one that I took last week. Hard to believe that I'll be getting even bigger over the next 10 weeks!
Friday, May 25, 2007
Aaaaaaaad DONE!
Well, this is it. I've cleaned out my room, said my goodbyes, and driven the Border Highway for the last time. The next time I walk into that school for a normal workday will be in November. NOVEMBER!
To celebrate, I plan to spend the weekend painting the nursery and snuggling with Jasper. I really know how to party, don't I?
To celebrate, I plan to spend the weekend painting the nursery and snuggling with Jasper. I really know how to party, don't I?
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Empty
Tomorrow is the last day of school. My entire day today has been filled with emptying my classroom of personal stuff and supplies and with signing my students out. Almost all of them are graduating seniors, so it's been a very bittersweet process. To tell the truth, I've had to fight back tears more than once, and I'm sure that I'll be an enormous wreck at Saturday's graduation ceremony.
Now that just about everything is packed away and most of the kids have left I'm taking some time to look around the room and marvel at how familiar it feels. I can clearly remember walking in here for the first time back in October and being scared out of my mind. I remember bringing those first few boxes of books and posters into the building, remember writing my first lesson out on the board the Saturday before I formally took over the class, and remember hoping like hell that I'd survive that first week. I guess I did, because it's suddenly May and I'm saying goodbye to everyone.
Times like this I know that I've made the right decision to come back here next year.
Now that just about everything is packed away and most of the kids have left I'm taking some time to look around the room and marvel at how familiar it feels. I can clearly remember walking in here for the first time back in October and being scared out of my mind. I remember bringing those first few boxes of books and posters into the building, remember writing my first lesson out on the board the Saturday before I formally took over the class, and remember hoping like hell that I'd survive that first week. I guess I did, because it's suddenly May and I'm saying goodbye to everyone.
Times like this I know that I've made the right decision to come back here next year.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
I get sentimental about the oddest things
Is it wrong to be sad when a TV show ends? I hope not, because I have a habit of getting very maudlin when my favorite shows get cancelled.
Tonight was the series finale of a long-time favorite, "Gilmore Girls". I started watching it during my Sophomore year in college, and before too long it became one of my favorites. My roommates and I would make sure not to schedule Tuesday night classes just so we could all be home to watch new episodes. I made J watch it with me when we started dating, and I love to tell people that I knew he was "the one" when I called him one Tuesday night after he'd moved to DC and heard the strummy la la music on in the background. Even the manliest man had to admit that GG was a pretty decent hour of television.
And now it's over. I'm sad. It's like saying goodbye to an old friend (or a lot of old friends) and a very specific phase of my life at the same time.
Tonight was the series finale of a long-time favorite, "Gilmore Girls". I started watching it during my Sophomore year in college, and before too long it became one of my favorites. My roommates and I would make sure not to schedule Tuesday night classes just so we could all be home to watch new episodes. I made J watch it with me when we started dating, and I love to tell people that I knew he was "the one" when I called him one Tuesday night after he'd moved to DC and heard the strummy la la music on in the background. Even the manliest man had to admit that GG was a pretty decent hour of television.
And now it's over. I'm sad. It's like saying goodbye to an old friend (or a lot of old friends) and a very specific phase of my life at the same time.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Random Thoughts
Since I can't seem to write a coherent post on a single subject today, here are some random and unrelated thoughts that have been running through my head lately:
--I love planning. Love organizing. Love preparing to do projects. Finishing them is another story, but I rock at planning.
--J and I went to PetSmart last week to buy Jasper a new Kong and almost came home with a new kitten. We're crazy cat people in training.
--J has been growing a mustache for a hospital facial-hair-growing contest for the last month, and has FINALLY agreed to shave it off when the contest is over. This is a very good thing.
--There are currently four shopping bags full of newly-purchased stuff on my kitchen table. Some have been sitting there for two weeks. Maybe I should do something about that.
--I'm wearing mascara for the first time today. I think I like it.
--In spite of my resolution to not buy a ton of maternity clothes, my collection is slowly growing. I dearly hope that some of my friends who are TTC right now will want these things when I'm done with them!
--I can't believe that school is out in just two weeks. Where did this year go?
--I signed my contract for next year. My principal agreed to a modified version of the plan the assistant principal and I cooked up, so I'll be coming back to work around Thanksgiving instead of in early October. I'm really happy with the way this has turned out.
--I love planning. Love organizing. Love preparing to do projects. Finishing them is another story, but I rock at planning.
--J and I went to PetSmart last week to buy Jasper a new Kong and almost came home with a new kitten. We're crazy cat people in training.
--J has been growing a mustache for a hospital facial-hair-growing contest for the last month, and has FINALLY agreed to shave it off when the contest is over. This is a very good thing.
--There are currently four shopping bags full of newly-purchased stuff on my kitchen table. Some have been sitting there for two weeks. Maybe I should do something about that.
--I'm wearing mascara for the first time today. I think I like it.
--In spite of my resolution to not buy a ton of maternity clothes, my collection is slowly growing. I dearly hope that some of my friends who are TTC right now will want these things when I'm done with them!
--I can't believe that school is out in just two weeks. Where did this year go?
--I signed my contract for next year. My principal agreed to a modified version of the plan the assistant principal and I cooked up, so I'll be coming back to work around Thanksgiving instead of in early October. I'm really happy with the way this has turned out.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Rest in Peace
My parents took Checkers to the vet this morning. My girl is gone. Goodbye sweetheart, I'll always miss you.
Monday, May 07, 2007
Teenagers can be real people when they want to be
My students saved me from having a total breakdown today.
Last night my mom called to let me know that our family cat, the cat I adopted when I was 10 years old, was sick. Really sick. We found out today that she's probably in kidney failure, has diabetes, or has hyperthyroidism. Regardless, she's severely dehydrated, her kidneys are shutting down, and she only weighs 5 lbs. The vet expects to have test results (and a diagnosis) tomorrow, but until then my mom is giving her lots of love and feeding her a prescription wet food.
Anyway, after getting this news, I was a bit of a wreck. Today was one of my busy days at school, so I was kept preoccupied until my conference at the end of the day. I fully expected to just sit in my classroom, bawling, for the entire 90 minute period, but instead I got a wonderful treat. Five of my students (four of whom are failing and needed to do some makeup work) came to my room to work and chat. We sat around, debated some of the symbols in 1984, and really enjoyed each others' company.
I don't know how (or if) they knew that I needed to be with people right then, but their presence was exactly what I needed. Sometimes teenagers can be real assholes, but sometimes (an increasing number of times) they can also be incredibly thoughtful and compassionate. It was nice to be reminded of that today.
No updates on the staying vs. leaving issue today. I could hear something definitive tomorrow, but in reality I think it will probably be closer to Friday before anything is decided.
Last night my mom called to let me know that our family cat, the cat I adopted when I was 10 years old, was sick. Really sick. We found out today that she's probably in kidney failure, has diabetes, or has hyperthyroidism. Regardless, she's severely dehydrated, her kidneys are shutting down, and she only weighs 5 lbs. The vet expects to have test results (and a diagnosis) tomorrow, but until then my mom is giving her lots of love and feeding her a prescription wet food.
Anyway, after getting this news, I was a bit of a wreck. Today was one of my busy days at school, so I was kept preoccupied until my conference at the end of the day. I fully expected to just sit in my classroom, bawling, for the entire 90 minute period, but instead I got a wonderful treat. Five of my students (four of whom are failing and needed to do some makeup work) came to my room to work and chat. We sat around, debated some of the symbols in 1984, and really enjoyed each others' company.
I don't know how (or if) they knew that I needed to be with people right then, but their presence was exactly what I needed. Sometimes teenagers can be real assholes, but sometimes (an increasing number of times) they can also be incredibly thoughtful and compassionate. It was nice to be reminded of that today.
No updates on the staying vs. leaving issue today. I could hear something definitive tomorrow, but in reality I think it will probably be closer to Friday before anything is decided.
Friday, May 04, 2007
Something even better than job news
Please go over to Julie's to read about legislation currently being revised in the House of Representatives that could provide infertility coverage as part of standard health insurance. I'm writing a letter to my Representative this weekend. If you're not sure who yours is, go to this site and enter your ZIP code.
Oh, and on the job front--the wait for an actual answer has officially been extended to next week. I signed the contract since the district won't be willing to work with me at all if I don't have one, but it's still very possible that I won't be going back next year. As if you hadn't already guessed, my feelings on the matter are decidedly mixed.
Oh, and on the job front--the wait for an actual answer has officially been extended to next week. I signed the contract since the district won't be willing to work with me at all if I don't have one, but it's still very possible that I won't be going back next year. As if you hadn't already guessed, my feelings on the matter are decidedly mixed.
Please send non-alcoholic alcohol
Did you know that I'm going grey? I am. I got my first grey hairs when I was 21. It was during the summer I interned in DC while I was still in college, and I probably should have taken that first grey strand as an omen. DO NOT MOVE TO THIS TOWN BECAUSE YOU WILL LOOK LIKE AN OLD LADY BEFORE YOU ARE 30.
Being me, I didn't listen to the grey prophet and thus spent three years living in the DC area accumulating many more of his little friends. My hair now looks "sparkly" when viewed from above, and my stylist keeps tempting me with pretty highlights that I cannot afford to maintain once I commit to them.
Well, I may just need to book an emergency appointment with her ASAP because I will be shocked if my hair doesn't go completely white by the end of the day.
In short, there has been no movement on the decision over whether or not I can come back next year. Numerous balls have been dropped by numerous people, and I really have to include myself in that list because one lesson I should have learned by now is to never EVER trust anyone else to do what they say they'll do when the issue at hand is vitally important to my future health and happiness. I'm hopeful that something will be decided by the end of the day today, especially since my contract needs to be signed by midnight tonight, but after the way this week has gone I'm not exactly holding my breath.
Until then, I could really use a drink.
Being me, I didn't listen to the grey prophet and thus spent three years living in the DC area accumulating many more of his little friends. My hair now looks "sparkly" when viewed from above, and my stylist keeps tempting me with pretty highlights that I cannot afford to maintain once I commit to them.
Well, I may just need to book an emergency appointment with her ASAP because I will be shocked if my hair doesn't go completely white by the end of the day.
In short, there has been no movement on the decision over whether or not I can come back next year. Numerous balls have been dropped by numerous people, and I really have to include myself in that list because one lesson I should have learned by now is to never EVER trust anyone else to do what they say they'll do when the issue at hand is vitally important to my future health and happiness. I'm hopeful that something will be decided by the end of the day today, especially since my contract needs to be signed by midnight tonight, but after the way this week has gone I'm not exactly holding my breath.
Until then, I could really use a drink.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Off the hook?
Job situation update:
Number of hours spent wringing hands over job decision since last post: 144
Number of friends dreading my e-mails/phone calls because I won't shut up about the job decision: ALL
Number of meetings had with my Assistant Principal to figure out a compromise that makes everyone happy: 3
Number of very good, very workable solutions offered to me by Assistant Principal: 1
Number of people who still have to sign off on the very good, very workable solution: 1 (Principal)
Finally finding tentative peace of mind over going back to work vs. staying at home: Priceless
I promise to be less vague about the details of this job solution when (if!) it's approved by my Principal. Currently, I just don't want to jinx it. Suffice it to say, the fact that my school has, so far, bent over backwards to keep me on staff next year makes me feel like I'm making the right decision to fight like hell to stay here while still being able to spend most of Luke's first year of life at home with him.
Number of hours spent wringing hands over job decision since last post: 144
Number of friends dreading my e-mails/phone calls because I won't shut up about the job decision: ALL
Number of meetings had with my Assistant Principal to figure out a compromise that makes everyone happy: 3
Number of very good, very workable solutions offered to me by Assistant Principal: 1
Number of people who still have to sign off on the very good, very workable solution: 1 (Principal)
Finally finding tentative peace of mind over going back to work vs. staying at home: Priceless
I promise to be less vague about the details of this job solution when (if!) it's approved by my Principal. Currently, I just don't want to jinx it. Suffice it to say, the fact that my school has, so far, bent over backwards to keep me on staff next year makes me feel like I'm making the right decision to fight like hell to stay here while still being able to spend most of Luke's first year of life at home with him.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Decisions, decisions...
Apologies (once again) for the lack of blog posts lately. There have been a lot of things on my mind, but I felt that I needed to work some of them out on my own before writing about them. First and foremost, J and I sat down last week when I got my contract for the 2007-2008 school year and went over our budget. Surprise, surprise, we can afford for me to stay home next year.
This is what I always thought I wanted. Back when we first started trying to have a baby, one of the things we agreed on was that I'd quit my job to be a stay at home mom for at least a year or two. Back then, of course, I felt like my soul was being sucked from my eyeballs every day when I walked into the office, so the idea of quitting to be a full-time parent was very appealing. Fast forward two years, and everything is different. I love my job. I love my students, love my coworkers, and love how happy I am to go to work every day. Do I get frustrated and annoyed sometimes? Of course. Do I love my job? Yes. More than I ever thought I could. Do I still want to stay at home next year? I don't know.
Some days I feel like staying home is the only reasonable course of action. I don't want to miss minute of Button's first year of life, and it's not as if taking a year off will prevent me from going back into teaching once we're all ready for me to work again. Then I start thinking about my school and everything gets very, very complicated. I don't want to leave my school. I don't want to leave the wonderful kids I teach, don't want to leave the great friends I've made there (two of whom are also pregnant and due in the next few months), and I don't want to feel like I've spent so much time and energy getting certified just to leave a great position. Since I've only worked for the district for a year, they don't (and won't) hold my position until I want to come back. It's always possible that another English spot would open up in 2008-2009, but chances aren't great that it'll happen.
Complicating factor number two is that J works a lot. A whole lot. Life as a resident won't be much different for him (or us) than life as an intern has been. He'll still pull 80-100 hour weeks. It's going to suck whether I stay home or go back to work, and I'm not sure which decision will ultimately be best for our family and for our marriage. I worry about feeling lonely or isolated staying at home, especially since we won't have a lot of money for activities like Gymboree or music groups. Plus, all of my friends work and live on the opposite side of town. Sure, it's only a 20-25 minute drive, but I know myself too well to think that I won't feel at least a little abandoned, particularly on days when the baby just won't stop fussing.
So, I don't know. I have to make my decision soon since my contract needs to be signed by next Friday if I'm going to accept it. Signing and then quitting isn't really a viable option--the district WILL blackball me if I break a contract, and with so few districts in this area, I can't afford to lock myself out of employment with any one of them.
This is what I always thought I wanted. Back when we first started trying to have a baby, one of the things we agreed on was that I'd quit my job to be a stay at home mom for at least a year or two. Back then, of course, I felt like my soul was being sucked from my eyeballs every day when I walked into the office, so the idea of quitting to be a full-time parent was very appealing. Fast forward two years, and everything is different. I love my job. I love my students, love my coworkers, and love how happy I am to go to work every day. Do I get frustrated and annoyed sometimes? Of course. Do I love my job? Yes. More than I ever thought I could. Do I still want to stay at home next year? I don't know.
Some days I feel like staying home is the only reasonable course of action. I don't want to miss minute of Button's first year of life, and it's not as if taking a year off will prevent me from going back into teaching once we're all ready for me to work again. Then I start thinking about my school and everything gets very, very complicated. I don't want to leave my school. I don't want to leave the wonderful kids I teach, don't want to leave the great friends I've made there (two of whom are also pregnant and due in the next few months), and I don't want to feel like I've spent so much time and energy getting certified just to leave a great position. Since I've only worked for the district for a year, they don't (and won't) hold my position until I want to come back. It's always possible that another English spot would open up in 2008-2009, but chances aren't great that it'll happen.
Complicating factor number two is that J works a lot. A whole lot. Life as a resident won't be much different for him (or us) than life as an intern has been. He'll still pull 80-100 hour weeks. It's going to suck whether I stay home or go back to work, and I'm not sure which decision will ultimately be best for our family and for our marriage. I worry about feeling lonely or isolated staying at home, especially since we won't have a lot of money for activities like Gymboree or music groups. Plus, all of my friends work and live on the opposite side of town. Sure, it's only a 20-25 minute drive, but I know myself too well to think that I won't feel at least a little abandoned, particularly on days when the baby just won't stop fussing.
So, I don't know. I have to make my decision soon since my contract needs to be signed by next Friday if I'm going to accept it. Signing and then quitting isn't really a viable option--the district WILL blackball me if I break a contract, and with so few districts in this area, I can't afford to lock myself out of employment with any one of them.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Reflections
I've spent a lot of time this week complaining. I'm not sleeping well, I have a major paper due next week that I'm struggling with, and I've spent the whole week administering state-assessment exams to freshmen and sophomores. I miss my students!
And yet. Life seems to have a way of reminding us that most of the things that we complain about really doesn't matter. Yes, these things are annoying and bothersome, but they're not true problems. They're certainly nothing like the problems I was having last year.
Two years ago this week Juan and I decided to start our family. One year ago this week I was standing on the brink of serious infertility testing and treatment. This week? My biggest problem is that I'm going to have to spend the weekend holed up with my laptop doing research. Sort of puts things in perspective. Of course, even my infertility struggles are insignificant compared to the recent tragedy at Virginia Tech.
Perspective is an interesting thing. I'm thankful to be able to have it.
And yet. Life seems to have a way of reminding us that most of the things that we complain about really doesn't matter. Yes, these things are annoying and bothersome, but they're not true problems. They're certainly nothing like the problems I was having last year.
Two years ago this week Juan and I decided to start our family. One year ago this week I was standing on the brink of serious infertility testing and treatment. This week? My biggest problem is that I'm going to have to spend the weekend holed up with my laptop doing research. Sort of puts things in perspective. Of course, even my infertility struggles are insignificant compared to the recent tragedy at Virginia Tech.
Perspective is an interesting thing. I'm thankful to be able to have it.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Making arrangements
Touring daycares is a somewhat surreal experience. At the moment we're planning to share a nanny with some neighbors, but if that falls through I wanted to have a backup option in place. So, early last week I did some investigating and found the names of some highly recommended centers in our area. They passed my first test (they didn't need me to make an appointment before coming in for a tour) and I was really impressed with the center directors and staff.
Still, it was surreal. At certain points in the tour I found myself wondering if this was actually happening to me or not. I saw parents come in to pick up their kids at the end of the day and it didn't seem possible that that could be me in just a few months. When looking at the status report pages they make for every kid at the end of the day, I started to feel like a phony. What was I doing looking at these things? What was I doing at a daycare? The director was treating me like a parent--what kind of a crazy place was this?
It literally took getting a glimpse of my (rather obviously) pregnant reflection in a window to jerk me back into reality.
So, we're on the waiting list for the center and will be continuing to meet with the prospective nanny and our neighbors over the next few weeks. Due to some family issues our meeting for this weekend fell through, but we've got a date set up for the end of the month.
Next up: disassembling our guest room/library so we can start getting the nursery together.
Still, it was surreal. At certain points in the tour I found myself wondering if this was actually happening to me or not. I saw parents come in to pick up their kids at the end of the day and it didn't seem possible that that could be me in just a few months. When looking at the status report pages they make for every kid at the end of the day, I started to feel like a phony. What was I doing looking at these things? What was I doing at a daycare? The director was treating me like a parent--what kind of a crazy place was this?
It literally took getting a glimpse of my (rather obviously) pregnant reflection in a window to jerk me back into reality.
So, we're on the waiting list for the center and will be continuing to meet with the prospective nanny and our neighbors over the next few weeks. Due to some family issues our meeting for this weekend fell through, but we've got a date set up for the end of the month.
Next up: disassembling our guest room/library so we can start getting the nursery together.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Pregmentia strikes!
It's been well established that I can be a colossal ditz at times. I'm beginning to wonder if I should even be allowed outside the house, though, because of the stupid stuff I consistantly can't remember. Insignificant things like:
-The names of my students
-The names of books we've read in class (the kids totally nailed me on this one today--I was so embarassed!)
-Setting my alarm
Oh, and the teeny, tiny little matter of MY OWN NAME!
Last night at class I was getting ready to leave when one of my friends pulled me aside to ask if everything was okay at home. I was a little surprised that she was asking because I didn't remember mentioning anything about my home life to her recently, so I told her that no, everything was fine, and asked why she thought things might not be okay. Her answer? I had signed my maiden name on the class roster that night.
Whoops.
This wouldn't be so embarassing if I hadn't done exactly the same thing last week. Now, I did use my maiden name professionally while we lived in the DC area, so it's not like I've been using my married name for very long, but still! At least it makes for a somewhat amusing story (Juan got a kick out of it when I told him) so I guess pregmentia is at least good for a laugh. I just hope what little memory power I used to have comes back when this baby is born!
-The names of my students
-The names of books we've read in class (the kids totally nailed me on this one today--I was so embarassed!)
-Setting my alarm
Oh, and the teeny, tiny little matter of MY OWN NAME!
Last night at class I was getting ready to leave when one of my friends pulled me aside to ask if everything was okay at home. I was a little surprised that she was asking because I didn't remember mentioning anything about my home life to her recently, so I told her that no, everything was fine, and asked why she thought things might not be okay. Her answer? I had signed my maiden name on the class roster that night.
Whoops.
This wouldn't be so embarassing if I hadn't done exactly the same thing last week. Now, I did use my maiden name professionally while we lived in the DC area, so it's not like I've been using my married name for very long, but still! At least it makes for a somewhat amusing story (Juan got a kick out of it when I told him) so I guess pregmentia is at least good for a laugh. I just hope what little memory power I used to have comes back when this baby is born!
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Breaking News
Lisa Eaves, who runs the mind/body fertility workshop in Washington, DC that I took this time last year, is featured in the latest issue of U.S. News and World Report. If you live in the DC area and are struggling with infertility, I cannot recommend her classes enough. Bravo, Lisa for getting this wonderful exposure!
There it is!
My motivation! I've finally found it!
I don't know if it's the upcoming 4-day weekend (and really, don't you have to love a world in which a week-long Spring Break is almost immediately followed by another long weekend?) or the fact that there are only 8 weeks left until the end of the school year, but all of a sudden I feel like I did back in October when I first started teaching. I enjoy planning my lessons, try my hardest to find hooks to get the kids interested in each and every piece of literature that we're reading, and just generally feel like I'm having fun at work. I love feeling this way, and I love that it's happening again at the end of the year just as I've started questioning whether or not coming back next year is really worth it. I know that I'll need to hang on to the memory of feelings like this when I start again next year with a newborn at home.
Of course, it would be nice if this motivation carried over to my feelings about, say, doing housework on the weekend, but for now I'm content with having it at school.
I don't know if it's the upcoming 4-day weekend (and really, don't you have to love a world in which a week-long Spring Break is almost immediately followed by another long weekend?) or the fact that there are only 8 weeks left until the end of the school year, but all of a sudden I feel like I did back in October when I first started teaching. I enjoy planning my lessons, try my hardest to find hooks to get the kids interested in each and every piece of literature that we're reading, and just generally feel like I'm having fun at work. I love feeling this way, and I love that it's happening again at the end of the year just as I've started questioning whether or not coming back next year is really worth it. I know that I'll need to hang on to the memory of feelings like this when I start again next year with a newborn at home.
Of course, it would be nice if this motivation carried over to my feelings about, say, doing housework on the weekend, but for now I'm content with having it at school.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
The International Infertility Film Festival
The amazing Bea has put together an online film festival highlighting (what else?) infertility. The entries are hilarious, heartbreaking, and insightful. Please, go watch!
Monday, March 26, 2007
Okay, SEATTLE!
My earlier post got me motivated to download all the Seattle pictures from my visit with Kathleen. In short, the trip was AWESOME! I don't think we stopped talking all weekend (even Brett commented on how we wouldn't shut up--apparently we kept him awake a few nights because of it!) and we went all over the city. If you ever need a Seattle tour guide, Kathleen is your girl!
No trip to Seattle is complete with a trip to the Troll on Troll Ave! Kathleen and I thought about climbing up on his arm, but, well, we were too chicken. It's a lot steeper than it looks!
Then we saw these two Hummer limos just parked on a random street. It seemed odd, so I took a picture. What can I say, it had us in stitches at the time!
Then Kathleen took me on a tour of the building where she works, and in addition to the very cool elevator room, we got to go up on the roof. What a view! This is me, being very goofy (and windblown!) with the Space Needle.
We met up with our friend Minda a couple of times, which was a blast. She just had a gorgeous baby girl, and I had a hard time believing her when she said that the little one was a handful at home. All she did was sleep and coo when we were around! I can only hope to be so lucky with Button!
And finally, the two of us at the airport just before I left for home. We had our millionth cup of yummy Seattle coffee here, and I was very reluctant to get on the plane.
And, in other news, my latest belly shot (20 weeks 2 days) is below. I'm officially feeling huge!
No trip to Seattle is complete with a trip to the Troll on Troll Ave! Kathleen and I thought about climbing up on his arm, but, well, we were too chicken. It's a lot steeper than it looks!
Then we saw these two Hummer limos just parked on a random street. It seemed odd, so I took a picture. What can I say, it had us in stitches at the time!
Then Kathleen took me on a tour of the building where she works, and in addition to the very cool elevator room, we got to go up on the roof. What a view! This is me, being very goofy (and windblown!) with the Space Needle.
We met up with our friend Minda a couple of times, which was a blast. She just had a gorgeous baby girl, and I had a hard time believing her when she said that the little one was a handful at home. All she did was sleep and coo when we were around! I can only hope to be so lucky with Button!
And finally, the two of us at the airport just before I left for home. We had our millionth cup of yummy Seattle coffee here, and I was very reluctant to get on the plane.
And, in other news, my latest belly shot (20 weeks 2 days) is below. I'm officially feeling huge!
Putting my feet up
Many apologies for the lack of posts lately. There's been a lot going on (my trip to Seattle and 26th birthday among them) but every time I think about blogging I just can't bring myself to do it. No idea what this sudden aversion to writing is, but it's really doing a number on my blog.
In any case, pictures of the trip are forthcoming, and I hope to be back more often very soon.
In any case, pictures of the trip are forthcoming, and I hope to be back more often very soon.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Wait, didn't I just have a vacation?
Seriously, I need another week off. This week has been nothing but workworkworkworkwork, and it's only Wednesday. It's not just teaching, either, though trust me that it's been a massive struggle to get the kids to do anything other than stare blankly at the wall and drool this week. I've also had a boatload of work (including a MASSIVE research paper that came just on the heels of an even more massive midterm) for school, and knowing that there's still around a month left of my classes is making me feel overwhelmed and discouraged. I actually got to a point today where I called up a friend and fellow classmate in a dead panic becuase for some reason I'd managed to convince myself that I was doing my in-line citations (for the paper that was due tonight) incorrectly. The fact that I teach the research paper format and thus really do know how to do them didn't factor into the equation.
My last two pre-baby classes this summer cannot be this hard because if they are, I'm not going to make it.
The bottom line is that I'm really, really tired. I think part of it is that I'm sick at the moment, and I just don't do "sick" very well even when I'm not feeling totally overwhelmed by my life, so I have to place at least some of the blame on the fact that I feel like crap. I'm hoping to get an opportunity to really relax this weekend, but given that I have another research paper proposal due on Sunday, it may not happen.
My last two pre-baby classes this summer cannot be this hard because if they are, I'm not going to make it.
The bottom line is that I'm really, really tired. I think part of it is that I'm sick at the moment, and I just don't do "sick" very well even when I'm not feeling totally overwhelmed by my life, so I have to place at least some of the blame on the fact that I feel like crap. I'm hoping to get an opportunity to really relax this weekend, but given that I have another research paper proposal due on Sunday, it may not happen.
Monday, March 19, 2007
The times they are a changin'
One of the best books I've ever read was Toni Weschler's Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I remember wondering "Why didn't I learn this before now?" as I read about how my body works. It's a sentiment I've heard echoed hundreds of times on internet message boards and among friends, especially since we all had some type of sex ed in high school.
Well, you can imagine how happy I was to hear that there's now a teen version out to help young women understand their cycles. The focus of this book is obviously different from TCOYF in that there's no section on how to get pregnant, and information on how to chart to avoid pregnancy is also omitted (since Weschler decided that teens weren't likely to follow all of the rules safely) but the important parts about how to figure out what your body is doing when, and why it's doing it have been preserved.
I've frequently thought that if we ever have a daughter I want to teach her this information. Sex ed in the schools is unlikely to ever give the exact information I'd like my kids to have, and books like this can help clear up a lot of the misconceptions girls have about their bodies. Better yet, it can help them make smart choices when/if they decide to have sex. Thumbs up from me, all around.
Naturally, some are saying that the book provides girls with too much information. I think it gives them the facts they should have been getting all along. One mother (from Idaho, no less!) told the Washington Post that she's a fan of the book. "By giving them knowledge, you are treating them in a more adult way, and I think that helps them make more adult decisions," she said. I couldn't agree more. Denying that teens are having sex doesn't work. Statistics and my own personal experience (I have a number of students who are pregnant or parents already) prove it. What's wrong with giving up the scare tactics that have proven so ineffective in the past, and giving girls accurate, fact-based information about their cycles?
Well, you can imagine how happy I was to hear that there's now a teen version out to help young women understand their cycles. The focus of this book is obviously different from TCOYF in that there's no section on how to get pregnant, and information on how to chart to avoid pregnancy is also omitted (since Weschler decided that teens weren't likely to follow all of the rules safely) but the important parts about how to figure out what your body is doing when, and why it's doing it have been preserved.
I've frequently thought that if we ever have a daughter I want to teach her this information. Sex ed in the schools is unlikely to ever give the exact information I'd like my kids to have, and books like this can help clear up a lot of the misconceptions girls have about their bodies. Better yet, it can help them make smart choices when/if they decide to have sex. Thumbs up from me, all around.
Naturally, some are saying that the book provides girls with too much information. I think it gives them the facts they should have been getting all along. One mother (from Idaho, no less!) told the Washington Post that she's a fan of the book. "By giving them knowledge, you are treating them in a more adult way, and I think that helps them make more adult decisions," she said. I couldn't agree more. Denying that teens are having sex doesn't work. Statistics and my own personal experience (I have a number of students who are pregnant or parents already) prove it. What's wrong with giving up the scare tactics that have proven so ineffective in the past, and giving girls accurate, fact-based information about their cycles?
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Drumroll please...
In short, Button is a....BOY!!!!! He is unquestionably a boy, and we've got more than one ultrasound picture to prove it.
For those who want the long version, the ultrasound went very well. Button has a lovely spine, a beautiful heart, and two of the cutest little hands you've ever seen. He was a bit hyperactive, so it took the tech quite awhile to get all the necessary measurements, but when all is said and done everything looks good. I'm measuring right on target (19 weeks 5 days for those keeping score at home) and aside from a little bit more weight gain than we'd all like to see, all is well. We're still without a name (though Juan did buy a baby name book at Barnes and Noble tonight and promises to actually take a look at it one of these days since he's shot down almost all of my boy name suggestions) but I don't expect that will last for long.
I confess that I'm in a little bit of shock after today. Not only was I almost completely convinced that we were having a girl (because really, how often are the Snarkies wrong?) but knowing that we're having a boy makes it all a little bit more real. I know I'm repeating myself here, but I can't believe how fast all of this is going, and I especially can't believe that in just 20 more weeks we're going to become a family of three.
For those who want the long version, the ultrasound went very well. Button has a lovely spine, a beautiful heart, and two of the cutest little hands you've ever seen. He was a bit hyperactive, so it took the tech quite awhile to get all the necessary measurements, but when all is said and done everything looks good. I'm measuring right on target (19 weeks 5 days for those keeping score at home) and aside from a little bit more weight gain than we'd all like to see, all is well. We're still without a name (though Juan did buy a baby name book at Barnes and Noble tonight and promises to actually take a look at it one of these days since he's shot down almost all of my boy name suggestions) but I don't expect that will last for long.
I confess that I'm in a little bit of shock after today. Not only was I almost completely convinced that we were having a girl (because really, how often are the Snarkies wrong?) but knowing that we're having a boy makes it all a little bit more real. I know I'm repeating myself here, but I can't believe how fast all of this is going, and I especially can't believe that in just 20 more weeks we're going to become a family of three.
Friday, March 09, 2007
SPRING BREAK, WOOOOOOOO!!!
Today was the last day of school before the start of Spring Break, and I could have kissed the loudspeaker when the final bell rang at the stroke of 3:50. Disgusting, yes, but very, very tempting under the circumstances. It's been a long 9 weeks since the kids came back from Christmas break, and between their spring fever and my recent insomnia-induced bad moods, we're all in desperate need of a VACATION from one another.
Of course, there's still the eensy weensy matter of the 15 page term paper I have to write for one of my grad classes before the week is up, but overall this Spring Break is going to be one of relaxation and indulgence. Tomorrow I'm hanging out with some girlfriends, Juan has another day off (!!!), then we have our big ultrasound with Button on Tuesday, and THEN, I take off to visit the always-fabulous Kathleen on Thursday. If last year is any indication, we will probably spend our time together behaving badly in public, spending too much money on purses, and generally enjoying the hell out of ourselves. I can't wait!
In other news, HOLLY SHIT WE'RE FINDING OUT IF BUTTON IS A BOY OR A GIRL ON TUESDAY!!!
Of course, there's still the eensy weensy matter of the 15 page term paper I have to write for one of my grad classes before the week is up, but overall this Spring Break is going to be one of relaxation and indulgence. Tomorrow I'm hanging out with some girlfriends, Juan has another day off (!!!), then we have our big ultrasound with Button on Tuesday, and THEN, I take off to visit the always-fabulous Kathleen on Thursday. If last year is any indication, we will probably spend our time together behaving badly in public, spending too much money on purses, and generally enjoying the hell out of ourselves. I can't wait!
In other news, HOLLY SHIT WE'RE FINDING OUT IF BUTTON IS A BOY OR A GIRL ON TUESDAY!!!
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Perfect weekend
This was Juan's and my first weekend off together since Christmas. Rather, it was our first day off together since Christmas, since he was post-call on Saturday and slept all day. Still, one day together is better than none, and it was wonderful to get to actually have conversations somewhere other than the bed or the dinner table. We went out to lunch, looked at baby furniture, and weeded the yard. It was a perfectly ordinary weekend day, but when you take into account the fact that we haven't had one for almost three months, the ordinary can seem extraordinary.
In other news, our big ultrasound is in just 9 days. Nine days!
In other news, our big ultrasound is in just 9 days. Nine days!
Monday, February 26, 2007
Kicking around my head
I think I'm recovering.
In the past two weeks, I've been able to have conversations about potential (and actual) accidental pregnancies with several friends who needed support. For the first time in almost two years, I didn't feel like crying when thinking about someone else getting pregnant without even trying. I was able to be there for my friends, to talk them through their feelings, and to keep in mind that the conversation was about them, not about me.
This is huge. I know I couldn't have done it before getting pregnant myself, and I honestly don't think that I could have even done it during my first trimester. Every day that goes by I feel more like a normal, healthy pregnant woman, and not like someone who is broken inside. I don't feel like a leper anymore. I don't feel out of place in the "normal" crowd. It's something that continues to both puzzle and delight me, but it also has less positive implications for other parts of my life.
Mel has a great post at Stirrup Queens right now about belonging in the infertility community. Her (admirable) opinion is that once a member, always a member. Pregnancy doesn't mean that your membership is revoked, and no matter how you get pregnant, your feelings while going through infertility were real and valid and should always be respected as such. I read her post last night and almost cried because I don't feel like I belong anymore. I don't know if it's the fact that I'm pregnant or the fact that I was ultimately able to get pregnant without ART, but I no longer feel like I'm a "real" member of the community.
On a purely clinical level, my issue has to do with the fact that I was unquestionably infertile before the lap but have no idea whether the surgery fixed everything permanantly or not. Am I considered subfertile? Fertile for awhile? Fertile for good? No one knows, and honestly we probably won't know until Juan and I start trying for #2. That won't be happening for quite awhile, and until then I'm just not sure where I fall. Without a definitive diagnosis (and goodness knows I'm not going to spend much time thinking about the fact that I'm back in the pre-diagnosis phase) I feel like I'm in limbo. I'm caught between the infertile and fertile worlds and not completely sure I belong in either. "Recovering" seems to be the best term for how I think of myself at the moment, but as grateful as I am for everything that's happened to me since Thanksgiving, I'm also grieving for what I've lost. I miss feeling like I belong to a group, and as much as I my head agrees with Mel that once someone has gone through the pain of infertility they should belong to that group forever, my heart isn't so sure.
Being infertile was a huge part of my identity for a long time, and I guess my ultimate question is who am I now? What emotional identity comes between infertilty and motherhood?
In the past two weeks, I've been able to have conversations about potential (and actual) accidental pregnancies with several friends who needed support. For the first time in almost two years, I didn't feel like crying when thinking about someone else getting pregnant without even trying. I was able to be there for my friends, to talk them through their feelings, and to keep in mind that the conversation was about them, not about me.
This is huge. I know I couldn't have done it before getting pregnant myself, and I honestly don't think that I could have even done it during my first trimester. Every day that goes by I feel more like a normal, healthy pregnant woman, and not like someone who is broken inside. I don't feel like a leper anymore. I don't feel out of place in the "normal" crowd. It's something that continues to both puzzle and delight me, but it also has less positive implications for other parts of my life.
Mel has a great post at Stirrup Queens right now about belonging in the infertility community. Her (admirable) opinion is that once a member, always a member. Pregnancy doesn't mean that your membership is revoked, and no matter how you get pregnant, your feelings while going through infertility were real and valid and should always be respected as such. I read her post last night and almost cried because I don't feel like I belong anymore. I don't know if it's the fact that I'm pregnant or the fact that I was ultimately able to get pregnant without ART, but I no longer feel like I'm a "real" member of the community.
On a purely clinical level, my issue has to do with the fact that I was unquestionably infertile before the lap but have no idea whether the surgery fixed everything permanantly or not. Am I considered subfertile? Fertile for awhile? Fertile for good? No one knows, and honestly we probably won't know until Juan and I start trying for #2. That won't be happening for quite awhile, and until then I'm just not sure where I fall. Without a definitive diagnosis (and goodness knows I'm not going to spend much time thinking about the fact that I'm back in the pre-diagnosis phase) I feel like I'm in limbo. I'm caught between the infertile and fertile worlds and not completely sure I belong in either. "Recovering" seems to be the best term for how I think of myself at the moment, but as grateful as I am for everything that's happened to me since Thanksgiving, I'm also grieving for what I've lost. I miss feeling like I belong to a group, and as much as I my head agrees with Mel that once someone has gone through the pain of infertility they should belong to that group forever, my heart isn't so sure.
Being infertile was a huge part of my identity for a long time, and I guess my ultimate question is who am I now? What emotional identity comes between infertilty and motherhood?
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Fine, fine
Okay, so I've been really good about not asking everyone to tell me how pregnant I look in spite of my complete lack of a baby belly. Still, as I think the below photo will show, I think I'm actually showing now! So, enjoy. I may be headless, but that's definitely a bump.
17 weeks 0 days
17 weeks 0 days
Friday, February 16, 2007
How to freak out my dog
Step 1: Husband gets brilliant idea to use new camcorder to take video of my belly in a vain effort to persuade the world that I am, in fact, pregnant.
Step 2: Have equally brilliant idea to include dog in video since, well, he's cute.
Step 3: Take video that consists entirely of self asking dog where the baby is over and over again until he tries to see if I have a treat in my hand. At this point, make a bizarre snorting/laughing sound that will doubtless be mocked by family and friends who receive said video.
Step 4: Hook camcorder up to computer to view video and completely mess with the dog's head when my voice comes out of somewhere that is clearly not my mouth.
Step 5: Dog totally freaks out about the entire situation and proceeds to race around the room until he is forcibly held down by self and husband to get a calming belly rub.
Step 6: Realize that this scene will be repeated many, MANY times in the future when we actually make home movies and show them on the TV. Groan.
Step 2: Have equally brilliant idea to include dog in video since, well, he's cute.
Step 3: Take video that consists entirely of self asking dog where the baby is over and over again until he tries to see if I have a treat in my hand. At this point, make a bizarre snorting/laughing sound that will doubtless be mocked by family and friends who receive said video.
Step 4: Hook camcorder up to computer to view video and completely mess with the dog's head when my voice comes out of somewhere that is clearly not my mouth.
Step 5: Dog totally freaks out about the entire situation and proceeds to race around the room until he is forcibly held down by self and husband to get a calming belly rub.
Step 6: Realize that this scene will be repeated many, MANY times in the future when we actually make home movies and show them on the TV. Groan.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Senseless
I turned on the news this morning to see this story dominating the headlines. It's frightening when an attack so violent and so senseless hits close to home. In this case I mean that literally since I lived right across the street from Trolley Square when I was in college. So many memories happened there-- Juan and I had our rehearsal dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory mentioned in the story above, I went there with my friends and our dates before the senior prom, and it was a hangout for me and my roommates when we could just cross the street to get some authentic saltwater taffy or just to do a little window shopping.
It's hard to believe something like this could happen in a place everyone always thought was so safe, and in a community that prides itself on having such little gun violence. My heart goes out to the victims and their families.
It's hard to believe something like this could happen in a place everyone always thought was so safe, and in a community that prides itself on having such little gun violence. My heart goes out to the victims and their families.
Monday, February 12, 2007
Can someone direct me to that river in Egypt?
If you'd asked me last week if I was having pregnancy-induced mood swings I would have said no. I felt fine, hadn't been this happy in over a year, and everything was hunky dory. I even felt snugly superior about my lack of mood swings. Boy, am I eating some humble pie now!
In short, this was the weekend-o-bitchiness. I bitched at Juan about his hours, bitched at my friends about issues at school, bitched at anyone who would listen about the research paper abstract I'm working on, bitched at Juan again about how crappy this Valentine's Day is going to be because I'm in class until after 9:00 that night, and wrapped it all up today by yelling at two students (which they deserved--it wasn't just my moodiness, I had several other non-pregnant teachers agree with how I handled the situation) and then crying on the phone with the ultrasound department at the hospital because they were giving me grief about when I want to schedule my appointment. I really need to cut this whole crying on the phone thing out. I hate it when I do that.
So, in short, the moodiness has officially set in. This is my way of issuing a pre-emptive apology to anyone I get irritable with over the nxt 6 months or so. I don't mean it, I swear. These hormones seriously have a mind of their own.
In short, this was the weekend-o-bitchiness. I bitched at Juan about his hours, bitched at my friends about issues at school, bitched at anyone who would listen about the research paper abstract I'm working on, bitched at Juan again about how crappy this Valentine's Day is going to be because I'm in class until after 9:00 that night, and wrapped it all up today by yelling at two students (which they deserved--it wasn't just my moodiness, I had several other non-pregnant teachers agree with how I handled the situation) and then crying on the phone with the ultrasound department at the hospital because they were giving me grief about when I want to schedule my appointment. I really need to cut this whole crying on the phone thing out. I hate it when I do that.
So, in short, the moodiness has officially set in. This is my way of issuing a pre-emptive apology to anyone I get irritable with over the nxt 6 months or so. I don't mean it, I swear. These hormones seriously have a mind of their own.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
boom boom boom boom boom
We had a good doctor's appointment today.
First, we got to hear Button's heartbeat. The doctor had no trouble at all finding it and everything sounds great. Once Juan and I had listened to our hearts' content, we reviewed my blood tests from my last appointment (normal) and I got a little lecture about my weight. Apparently I'm 2 lbs. over where I should be. Nothing to worry about at this point, but I should probably lay off the Rice Krispy treats for awhile.
Then we started talking about my next appointment. The "big" appointment, complete with anatomy ultrasound and (drumroll please) finding out if Button is a boy or a girl. I can schedule it anytime in the next 3-5 weeks, which has me a little freaked out. Three to five weeks? That's no time at all! Heck, spring break isn't even for another month, and here was Dr. M telling me that we could find out our baby's sex before I leave on vacation.
This pregnancy feels like it's just flying by. I'm already in the second trimester, we're starting to look at furniture, and it's slowly sinking in that we're actually going to be parents come August. You'd think that after trying to get pregnant for almost two years, I wouldn't be so...amazed at that fact, but I am. It just seems incredible that our lives are going to change so much so soon.
First, we got to hear Button's heartbeat. The doctor had no trouble at all finding it and everything sounds great. Once Juan and I had listened to our hearts' content, we reviewed my blood tests from my last appointment (normal) and I got a little lecture about my weight. Apparently I'm 2 lbs. over where I should be. Nothing to worry about at this point, but I should probably lay off the Rice Krispy treats for awhile.
Then we started talking about my next appointment. The "big" appointment, complete with anatomy ultrasound and (drumroll please) finding out if Button is a boy or a girl. I can schedule it anytime in the next 3-5 weeks, which has me a little freaked out. Three to five weeks? That's no time at all! Heck, spring break isn't even for another month, and here was Dr. M telling me that we could find out our baby's sex before I leave on vacation.
This pregnancy feels like it's just flying by. I'm already in the second trimester, we're starting to look at furniture, and it's slowly sinking in that we're actually going to be parents come August. You'd think that after trying to get pregnant for almost two years, I wouldn't be so...amazed at that fact, but I am. It just seems incredible that our lives are going to change so much so soon.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Super What?
I'm not a football fan. To put it more bluntly, I can't think of many things that are more boring than sitting around watching football, even if I'm with friends and there's alcohol involved. Juan is the same way--I'd be surprised if he even knows which teams are playing today. I only know because my students couldn't talk about anything else last week.
Therefore, it shouldn't suprise anyone that I sort of forgot that the Super Bowl is today. I swear, on some level I knew that it was on this weekend, but the fact that the entire city was planning to be at the grocery store this afternoon to pick up party supplies completely escaped me. Until I got there, that is.
Oh. My. God. I've been to the grocery store on the day before Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, and an hour before Game 7 of the NBA finals back when the Jazz made the playoffs and I still lived in Utah. As such, I thought I knew what the word "crowd" meant. I had no idea. I have never, in my LIFE, seen so many people trying to buy soda and potato chips. It was insane.
So, just in case anyone was wondering, I'm not watching the game today. I am, however, trying to recover from my supermarket-induced emotional scars. I may need therapy.
Therefore, it shouldn't suprise anyone that I sort of forgot that the Super Bowl is today. I swear, on some level I knew that it was on this weekend, but the fact that the entire city was planning to be at the grocery store this afternoon to pick up party supplies completely escaped me. Until I got there, that is.
Oh. My. God. I've been to the grocery store on the day before Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, and an hour before Game 7 of the NBA finals back when the Jazz made the playoffs and I still lived in Utah. As such, I thought I knew what the word "crowd" meant. I had no idea. I have never, in my LIFE, seen so many people trying to buy soda and potato chips. It was insane.
So, just in case anyone was wondering, I'm not watching the game today. I am, however, trying to recover from my supermarket-induced emotional scars. I may need therapy.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Happy (belated) Blog-iversary
So, the actual 1 year anniversary of this blog was a week ago, but seeing as how I've been drowning in work (and living in a lot of denial about how much I still have left to do every night for the next couple of months) I didn't notice. Oops! So, happy blogiversary to me!
I thought I'd take a look back everything that's happened to me over the last year. Note, this was originally supposed to come with links, but I'm too damn tired and overwhelmed with work to add them. Sorry, but you can navigate by months on my sidebar if you'd like to read posts I mention here
January:
-Began this blog
-Started the spiral into a depression over not being pregnant
-Put our condo on the market
February
-Took a fantastic trip to Boston and Maine
-Had the best Valentine's Day on record
-Got in a car accident
-Finally called my doctor to start the fertility testing process
-Took the infamous photo of a knife I almost stabbed Juan in the foot with
March
-Hit a peak in my depression over not being able to get pregnant
-Had the crappiest 25th birthday on record
-Visited my family in Utah and posted about all the things I dislike about my home state
-Was picked up as an evil liberal blogger on a conservative Utah blog for the aforementioned post
-Still didn't sell our condo
April
-Had my first RE appointment with the most evil Nurse Practitioner known to man
-Took a trip to California with a mysterious "Item X"
-Had my HSG and was officially diagnosed as infertile
-Took a trip to our new town and placed an offer on a house
May
-Lost our contract on the house because our condo still hadn't sold
-Wrote my all-time favorite post on being an infertile 20-something
-Quit my job
-Got an offer on our condo
-Lost our buyer after just a week
-Found out that our dream house in Texas was back on the market and placed a new offer
-Got another offeron the condo from a new buyer
-My dad was hit by a car while riding his bike in North Carolina
-J graduated from medical school
-Left DC for Texas
June
-Took a trip to Vegas
-Entered a new chapter in infertility-related depression
-Closed on our Texas house and moved in
-Did not find a job
July
-Started seeing a new doctor about infertility
-Adopted Jasper
-Got admitted to grad school to become a teacher
August
-Survived our massive flooding
-Still didn't have a job
-Joined Operation Common Thread
-Celebrated my parents' 25th wedding anniversary
-Started school
September
-Had a laparoscopy and FINALLY got a diagnosis for our infertility--scar tissue
-Wrote an angry letter to NBC over a stupid, prejudicial story they did on young, infertile women
-Encountered the centipedes from hell
-Interviewed for a job as a high school English teacher
-Took a road trip to Utah
October
-Didn't hear from the school after my interview, assumed I didn't get the job
-Got another negative pregnancy test
-GOT THE TEACHING POSITION!
-Decided to hold off on calling the RE to start IUIs
-Started my 20th cycle of TTC
November
-Was busy at work
-GOT PREGNANT!!!
-Our cat Codi went into heart failure and spent a week in critical condition
December
-Codi came home!
-Finished my first semester of teaching
-Annouced my pregnancy to my family and the internet at large
I thought I'd take a look back everything that's happened to me over the last year. Note, this was originally supposed to come with links, but I'm too damn tired and overwhelmed with work to add them. Sorry, but you can navigate by months on my sidebar if you'd like to read posts I mention here
January:
-Began this blog
-Started the spiral into a depression over not being pregnant
-Put our condo on the market
February
-Took a fantastic trip to Boston and Maine
-Had the best Valentine's Day on record
-Got in a car accident
-Finally called my doctor to start the fertility testing process
-Took the infamous photo of a knife I almost stabbed Juan in the foot with
March
-Hit a peak in my depression over not being able to get pregnant
-Had the crappiest 25th birthday on record
-Visited my family in Utah and posted about all the things I dislike about my home state
-Was picked up as an evil liberal blogger on a conservative Utah blog for the aforementioned post
-Still didn't sell our condo
April
-Had my first RE appointment with the most evil Nurse Practitioner known to man
-Took a trip to California with a mysterious "Item X"
-Had my HSG and was officially diagnosed as infertile
-Took a trip to our new town and placed an offer on a house
May
-Lost our contract on the house because our condo still hadn't sold
-Wrote my all-time favorite post on being an infertile 20-something
-Quit my job
-Got an offer on our condo
-Lost our buyer after just a week
-Found out that our dream house in Texas was back on the market and placed a new offer
-Got another offeron the condo from a new buyer
-My dad was hit by a car while riding his bike in North Carolina
-J graduated from medical school
-Left DC for Texas
June
-Took a trip to Vegas
-Entered a new chapter in infertility-related depression
-Closed on our Texas house and moved in
-Did not find a job
July
-Started seeing a new doctor about infertility
-Adopted Jasper
-Got admitted to grad school to become a teacher
August
-Survived our massive flooding
-Still didn't have a job
-Joined Operation Common Thread
-Celebrated my parents' 25th wedding anniversary
-Started school
September
-Had a laparoscopy and FINALLY got a diagnosis for our infertility--scar tissue
-Wrote an angry letter to NBC over a stupid, prejudicial story they did on young, infertile women
-Encountered the centipedes from hell
-Interviewed for a job as a high school English teacher
-Took a road trip to Utah
October
-Didn't hear from the school after my interview, assumed I didn't get the job
-Got another negative pregnancy test
-GOT THE TEACHING POSITION!
-Decided to hold off on calling the RE to start IUIs
-Started my 20th cycle of TTC
November
-Was busy at work
-GOT PREGNANT!!!
-Our cat Codi went into heart failure and spent a week in critical condition
December
-Codi came home!
-Finished my first semester of teaching
-Annouced my pregnancy to my family and the internet at large
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Why do I do this to myself? (or, I suck at staying on task)
I have so much work to do tonight, it's not even funny. Lesson planning for two classes that I somehow neglected to do last weekend (oops), finishing up some homework for my own online class, reviewing all 5 hours of the BBC Pride and Prejudice to find the good parts that can be shown in 90 minutes, and grading. Oh, and did I mention that it's officially a month past Christmas and our tree is still up?
To top it off, I had a total meltdown at work today. I think the pregnancy hormones are finally kicking in, because I was in TEARS over the fact that an assignment I spent a long time writing for my online class got eaten by the stupid class software, so I had to rewrite it. I cried to the IT guru over the phone (who, to his credit, did not hang up on me when I started making unreasonable demands), to J, who I paged at work just so I could bitch and whine, and finally to my empty classroom. I think I honestly expected that one of the three would be able to pull out a magic wand and re-create my lost work, but sadly reality set in and I realized that I had to do it myself. So, after pouting and whining to the Snarkies, I did the assignment over again. It didn't take too long, which told me that I seriously overreacted in the first place, but it was really the straw that broke this camel's proverbial back.
With all of this on my plate, and the drama of this afternoon behind me, you'd think that I would have come home and started working immediately, wouldn't you? Oh no. Not me. Instead I have:
-ordered a pizza
-managed to cut myself (with my own fingernail) while peeling an orange
-devoured a large portion of the above pizza
-watched part of Dr. Phil
-watched all of last night's super-long Top Chef (why I even bother at this point is beyond me since I hate all of the contestants)
-let the dog out seven or eight times
-read blogs
-written this entry
All very productive and work-related activities, right? Yeah. So, it's now almost 7:00, I need to go to bed around 8:00 if I'm going to wake up for school early enough tomorrow to make the trillion or so handouts I need for my first class, and I've got maybe four or five hours of work staring me in the face. Guess it's time to go make some cupcakes!
To top it off, I had a total meltdown at work today. I think the pregnancy hormones are finally kicking in, because I was in TEARS over the fact that an assignment I spent a long time writing for my online class got eaten by the stupid class software, so I had to rewrite it. I cried to the IT guru over the phone (who, to his credit, did not hang up on me when I started making unreasonable demands), to J, who I paged at work just so I could bitch and whine, and finally to my empty classroom. I think I honestly expected that one of the three would be able to pull out a magic wand and re-create my lost work, but sadly reality set in and I realized that I had to do it myself. So, after pouting and whining to the Snarkies, I did the assignment over again. It didn't take too long, which told me that I seriously overreacted in the first place, but it was really the straw that broke this camel's proverbial back.
With all of this on my plate, and the drama of this afternoon behind me, you'd think that I would have come home and started working immediately, wouldn't you? Oh no. Not me. Instead I have:
-ordered a pizza
-managed to cut myself (with my own fingernail) while peeling an orange
-devoured a large portion of the above pizza
-watched part of Dr. Phil
-watched all of last night's super-long Top Chef (why I even bother at this point is beyond me since I hate all of the contestants)
-let the dog out seven or eight times
-read blogs
-written this entry
All very productive and work-related activities, right? Yeah. So, it's now almost 7:00, I need to go to bed around 8:00 if I'm going to wake up for school early enough tomorrow to make the trillion or so handouts I need for my first class, and I've got maybe four or five hours of work staring me in the face. Guess it's time to go make some cupcakes!
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Possibly the only downside to being pregnant
I just realized that I won't be able to play my annual State of the Union drinking game. Oh well, I think I'll survive.
Hope everyone is planning to watch or read a transcript tonight! As much as I dislike the current Administration, I can't imagine not watching the SOU. Not just because I love my drinking game, but because I want to know what issues the President wants to focus on during the next 12 months. I rarely agree with his ideas, but I at least need to know what they are.
Hope everyone is planning to watch or read a transcript tonight! As much as I dislike the current Administration, I can't imagine not watching the SOU. Not just because I love my drinking game, but because I want to know what issues the President wants to focus on during the next 12 months. I rarely agree with his ideas, but I at least need to know what they are.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Houston, we have a heartbeat!
This is possibly one of the best days of my life! We arrived at the appointment and were ushered into the doctor's office almost immediately. Dr. M congratulated us, we spent a few minutes catching up since I hadn't seen him since my surgery in September, and then he sent us into the ultrasound room to get a look at the Button! In short, things look perfect! She was doing backflips, mooning the doctor, and giving us a very nice look at her arms, legs, head, heart, spine, etc... We saw everything.
(for those who may be wondering why I'm referring to Button as "she", no, we didn't find out the sex yet, but I'm getting a very strong girl vibe right now)
I confess that I cried a bit when Dr. M turned the screen around and let me look at my baby for the first time. I can't even describe what the moment felt like. Humbling. Shocking. Inspiring. There's no one word that can sum it all up, but suffice it to say that I'm very, very happy.
The family has officially been cleared to share the news, and I'm told that my mom has already told two of her friends about the Button. I think she's probably going to have an "Official Member of the Grandma Club" t-shirt printed shortly. For his part, my dad is researching webcams and giving me nutritional instructions over the phone. I probably don't need to say that they're excited.
Welcome to the family, Button! You've got a lot of people who are already anxious to meet you!
(for those who may be wondering why I'm referring to Button as "she", no, we didn't find out the sex yet, but I'm getting a very strong girl vibe right now)
I confess that I cried a bit when Dr. M turned the screen around and let me look at my baby for the first time. I can't even describe what the moment felt like. Humbling. Shocking. Inspiring. There's no one word that can sum it all up, but suffice it to say that I'm very, very happy.
The family has officially been cleared to share the news, and I'm told that my mom has already told two of her friends about the Button. I think she's probably going to have an "Official Member of the Grandma Club" t-shirt printed shortly. For his part, my dad is researching webcams and giving me nutritional instructions over the phone. I probably don't need to say that they're excited.
Welcome to the family, Button! You've got a lot of people who are already anxious to meet you!
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Dealing with assholes never gets easier
J and I spent the weekend up at a ski lodge in New Mexico for a department retreat. Mostly, it was a blast. All of our friends were there, we went to a couple of workshops, and then spent a LOT of time relaxing. With the exception of the Mexican food they served for dinner last night, I couldn't have asked for a better weekend. Well, maybe except for one other thing.
See, at breakfast this morning we ended up sitting next to one of THOSE people. You know, the type who feels it's perfectly appropriate to ask you probing, personal questions 5 minutes after you've been introduced. First we chatted (well, he did most of the talking, I just smiled and nodded) about skiing, then he asked about our families, and then he asked the one question every woman who has experienced infertility dreads more than anything else: "So, when are YOU planning to have children?"
I confess, I told him that we were currently 10 weeks pregnant in hopes that it would shut him up on the subject. Did it? Oh no. Instead, he started talking about how he and his wife had two "oops" babies, and assumed that ours was the same. I was halfway tempted to tell him that it had taken the collective wisdom and skill of a half dozen doctors, surgery, and nearly two years to get to this point, but in the end I decided against sharing our story with him because I really didn't want to talk about infertility with an oblivious asshole over my hash browns. At that point, he turned his attention to a friend of mine and asked her if she and her husband were going to give their 2 year old daughter a brother or sister anytime soon. That was when I decided that cutting and running was probably the best possible strategy, so I made up some excuse about needing to get something from my room and dragged my friend out of the room.
For the record (just in case any of you were wondering) it is NEVER okay to ask someone about their family building plans. NEVER. You can ask if they have children (though after going through infertility I've started saying "Tell me about your family" instead, since being reminded of the fact that I was childless every time I met someone new wasn't a pleasant experience) but not if or when they plan to have any. My reproductive organs have nothing to do with you. Period. End of story.
In any case, we're home now, my first appointment is in three days, and now that I've gotten all this out I feel much better.
See, at breakfast this morning we ended up sitting next to one of THOSE people. You know, the type who feels it's perfectly appropriate to ask you probing, personal questions 5 minutes after you've been introduced. First we chatted (well, he did most of the talking, I just smiled and nodded) about skiing, then he asked about our families, and then he asked the one question every woman who has experienced infertility dreads more than anything else: "So, when are YOU planning to have children?"
I confess, I told him that we were currently 10 weeks pregnant in hopes that it would shut him up on the subject. Did it? Oh no. Instead, he started talking about how he and his wife had two "oops" babies, and assumed that ours was the same. I was halfway tempted to tell him that it had taken the collective wisdom and skill of a half dozen doctors, surgery, and nearly two years to get to this point, but in the end I decided against sharing our story with him because I really didn't want to talk about infertility with an oblivious asshole over my hash browns. At that point, he turned his attention to a friend of mine and asked her if she and her husband were going to give their 2 year old daughter a brother or sister anytime soon. That was when I decided that cutting and running was probably the best possible strategy, so I made up some excuse about needing to get something from my room and dragged my friend out of the room.
For the record (just in case any of you were wondering) it is NEVER okay to ask someone about their family building plans. NEVER. You can ask if they have children (though after going through infertility I've started saying "Tell me about your family" instead, since being reminded of the fact that I was childless every time I met someone new wasn't a pleasant experience) but not if or when they plan to have any. My reproductive organs have nothing to do with you. Period. End of story.
In any case, we're home now, my first appointment is in three days, and now that I've gotten all this out I feel much better.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Happy Fetus Day!
Well, I'm officially 10 weeks today which means that the Button can now officially be called a fetus. Happy Fetus Day, little one!
This pregnancy feels more real every day, and now that my first appointment is only a few days away I find myself thinking more and more about what ifs. What if I get to the appointment and things aren't okay? What if there's no heartbeat? I'm really not sure how I would cope with that. Mostly I just wish that I knew for sure one way or another. I'm not kicking myself for not accepting the appointment I was offered earlier this week, but I suppose I can wait another 5 days.
No more naval-gazing allowed tonight! I've now officially scared myself far more than I ever wanted to, and need to focus on something else. Have a good weekend, everyone!
This pregnancy feels more real every day, and now that my first appointment is only a few days away I find myself thinking more and more about what ifs. What if I get to the appointment and things aren't okay? What if there's no heartbeat? I'm really not sure how I would cope with that. Mostly I just wish that I knew for sure one way or another. I'm not kicking myself for not accepting the appointment I was offered earlier this week, but I suppose I can wait another 5 days.
No more naval-gazing allowed tonight! I've now officially scared myself far more than I ever wanted to, and need to focus on something else. Have a good weekend, everyone!
Monday, January 08, 2007
Butt is officially kicked
Oh. My. God. I have never been so exhausted in my life! Just staying awake and somewhat energetic and animated today was almost more than I could handle. All of the kids were bouncing off the walls because it was the first day back from a three week break, my classroom smelled like tacos (have I mentioned that I have a major aversion to Mexican food?), and all I wanted to do was to put my head down on my desk and take a nap. We'll see how tomorrow goes, but I'm not expecting it to be much better.
I hate to say it, but as much as I disliked my old job, it would have been soooooooo much more conducive to pregnancy. I had a private office with a door I could close at any time to take a short nap, my work was almost completely desk-based, and (best of all) I didn't have to wait until lunch for a bathroom break. Well, I guess I can't have my cake and eat it too.
I hate to say it, but as much as I disliked my old job, it would have been soooooooo much more conducive to pregnancy. I had a private office with a door I could close at any time to take a short nap, my work was almost completely desk-based, and (best of all) I didn't have to wait until lunch for a bathroom break. Well, I guess I can't have my cake and eat it too.
Sunday, January 07, 2007
The time has come
Well, I offically grew out of my "skinny" pair of jeans today. Since they're also my favorite pair of jeans, I bought a Bella Band (stretchy band of fabric that goes around the waist of your pants so you can leave them unbottoned) to get me through the next couple of months before I need full-on maternity wear.
I have to say, going into a maternity store was a bizarre experience. When the salesgirl asked me if I was buying for myself, I almost answered no. Even at 9 weeks, I still can't really believe that I'm pregnant. Part of me was scared to even think about buying any pregnancy wear because things could still go wrong. Still, I'm trying to stay very positive, so today's purchase was as much about comfort as it was about taking a leap of faith. I have the feeling that this is just the first of many leaps.
I have to say, going into a maternity store was a bizarre experience. When the salesgirl asked me if I was buying for myself, I almost answered no. Even at 9 weeks, I still can't really believe that I'm pregnant. Part of me was scared to even think about buying any pregnancy wear because things could still go wrong. Still, I'm trying to stay very positive, so today's purchase was as much about comfort as it was about taking a leap of faith. I have the feeling that this is just the first of many leaps.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Ready to go back
Today was my first day back at work, and it felt really good to be there. Not that vacation wasn't a lot of fun, but there comes a time when a girl has to get up off the couch and realize that there's more to life than a weeklong marathon of "America's Next Top Model" on VH1. Of course the students don't come back until Monday, but it was still a very full day.
In other news, we got snow the other day! SNOW!!! It was less than a dusting, but it still made me smile. Winter hasn't seemed very winter-y what with our 60 degree temperatures and nonstop sun. Juan even called me from the hospital to make sure I saw it. We both got way too excited about the snow for two people who supposedly dislike it so much.
In other news, we got snow the other day! SNOW!!! It was less than a dusting, but it still made me smile. Winter hasn't seemed very winter-y what with our 60 degree temperatures and nonstop sun. Juan even called me from the hospital to make sure I saw it. We both got way too excited about the snow for two people who supposedly dislike it so much.
Sunday, December 31, 2006
So long, 2006--don't let the door hit you on the way out
Can I say how happy I am that 2006 is over? The year started with confronting infertility and starting the testing process, then my dad was hit by a car 2,500 miles from home, then there was family drama, then we moved cross-country, then I was unemployed, then we figured out why we hadn't gotten pregnant yet, then I got my dream job, then our cat almost died, and then I got pregnant. For a year that ended on such an amazing note, though, most of 2006 really sucked. While my family was visiting for Christmas we agreed that our collective New Year's resolution was that no one (save for me in August) end up in the hospital. We'd better all keep that resolution.
I have so many hopes for 2007. Mostly I hope for a healthy pregnancy, but I also hope that J's internship and residency continues to go well. I hope that my sister gets into the nursing program she's been working so hard to qualify for since last year. I hope that my parents and in-laws stay healthy and that we see lots of them. I hope that we have zero pet health emergencies. I hope my friends (who had even rougher years in 2006 than I did) get the news they've been praying for. I hope this war starts to come to a conclusion. I hope the Democrats don't screw up leadership of the House and the Senate. I hope our leaders start listening to reason. I hope for so many things, and have hope that at least most of my hopes will come true.
I have so many hopes for 2007. Mostly I hope for a healthy pregnancy, but I also hope that J's internship and residency continues to go well. I hope that my sister gets into the nursing program she's been working so hard to qualify for since last year. I hope that my parents and in-laws stay healthy and that we see lots of them. I hope that we have zero pet health emergencies. I hope my friends (who had even rougher years in 2006 than I did) get the news they've been praying for. I hope this war starts to come to a conclusion. I hope the Democrats don't screw up leadership of the House and the Senate. I hope our leaders start listening to reason. I hope for so many things, and have hope that at least most of my hopes will come true.
Friday, December 29, 2006
The big news
Well, I'm sure that some of you have guessed what I'm about to announce, but hopefully it's a surprise for a few. I'm pregnant! I'm 8 weeks today and would have told you all much, MUCH sooner (I haven't been posting much for the last few weeks because I knew that if I did it would be too hard to keep the news a secret) but we wanted to surprise our families with the news for Christmas and many of them read my blog. So, SURPRISE!
Symptom-wise I'm feeling good about feeling crappy. I'm constantly queasy or nauseous, having the worst acid reflux of my life, and experiencing major food aversions. Sushi and Mexican food are dead to me right now.
J is thrilled, and so were our parents when we finally spilled the beans. This is already one very loved baby! We're all anxious about my first appointment on January 17, but I'm seeing the awesome Dr. M who figured out our scar tissue problem, so at least I know that I'll be in good hands.
It's a strange feeling, blogging from this side of the infertility fence, but I don't plan to forget about everything we went through to get to this point. Infertility is still a very important part of my story.
Symptom-wise I'm feeling good about feeling crappy. I'm constantly queasy or nauseous, having the worst acid reflux of my life, and experiencing major food aversions. Sushi and Mexican food are dead to me right now.
J is thrilled, and so were our parents when we finally spilled the beans. This is already one very loved baby! We're all anxious about my first appointment on January 17, but I'm seeing the awesome Dr. M who figured out our scar tissue problem, so at least I know that I'll be in good hands.
It's a strange feeling, blogging from this side of the infertility fence, but I don't plan to forget about everything we went through to get to this point. Infertility is still a very important part of my story.
Monday, December 25, 2006
Merry Christmas to All
I hope that wherever you are this Christmas season, you're looking forward to the new year and new possibilities in 2007. Happy holidays!
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
More fun with the vet
Codi had her follow-up appointment tonight, and there's good news and bad news. The good news is that not only is she stable, but the medicine is working. She has 50% more lung capacity this week than she did last week. We suspected as much, especially since we saw her chasing Arcadia the other night. The bad news is that she still needs the surgery in the next few months. I think we'll probably schedule it around my spring break in March so I can be home with her while she recovers.
I dearly hope this chapter in our lives is almost over. I've told all the pets that their New Years resolutions need to be to stay healthy.
In other news, my parents get into town tonight, and I can't wait for the family holiday festivities to begin!
I dearly hope this chapter in our lives is almost over. I've told all the pets that their New Years resolutions need to be to stay healthy.
In other news, my parents get into town tonight, and I can't wait for the family holiday festivities to begin!
Monday, December 18, 2006
I am so ready for a break
Wednesday seriously can't come fast enough. I'm exhausted, drained, and (totally unrelated to the semester winding down) getting sick. Ugh. I just have to make it one more day, though, then school is out until the second week of January.
In other C-as-slacker related news, guess who popped in a disc of "Big Love" instead of working on the quiz she's giving her juniors tomorrow? Just guess. I.Can't.Wait.For.Wednesday.
Longer posts will be forthcoming soon, I promise. I know I've put this blog on the back burner for the last few weeks, but I promise that will be changing very shortly.
In other C-as-slacker related news, guess who popped in a disc of "Big Love" instead of working on the quiz she's giving her juniors tomorrow? Just guess. I.Can't.Wait.For.Wednesday.
Longer posts will be forthcoming soon, I promise. I know I've put this blog on the back burner for the last few weeks, but I promise that will be changing very shortly.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Brief Codi Update
Codi went to the vet today and there was good news and bad news. The bad news is that the pleural effusion is back. This is the problem we originally took her in for, but isn't the one that landed her in critical condition for the better part of a week. The good news is that she's stable right now, can breathe without too much trouble, and it's very unlikely that she has cancer or heart failure. She may still have a heart problem, though, so if a course of medication doesn't clear it up by this time next week she'll probably need to have surgery. As scary as that might be, right now we're trying to stay positive about her prognosis and hope that the meds do what they're supposed to do.
In other news, my stress level is slowly going down as finals wrap up, and I have ACTUAL PLANS this weekend that don't involve grading papers and planning lessons. Say it with me people, WOO HOOO!!!
In other news, my stress level is slowly going down as finals wrap up, and I have ACTUAL PLANS this weekend that don't involve grading papers and planning lessons. Say it with me people, WOO HOOO!!!
Sunday, December 10, 2006
End of semester blues
Well, it's the last week of the semester and I am (still) exhausted. I have scholarship applications to grade, letters of recommendation to write, final reviews to prepare for, and (my least favorite part of all) failing kids to try to get back on track. Anyway, there's just a week left to go until all make-up and extra credit work is due, and I can certainly make it another week before taking a break.
In the meantime, though, I'm probably not going to have much time for posting, so I'll leave you with these pictures of our Christmas tree and the animals. Arcadia was strangely disinterested in the tree this year, but Codi and Jasper let us photograph them to our hearts content. Codi is doing much better, by the way. She's eating us out of house and home and her energy level has definitely improved. I think she's going to be just fine.
In the meantime, though, I'm probably not going to have much time for posting, so I'll leave you with these pictures of our Christmas tree and the animals. Arcadia was strangely disinterested in the tree this year, but Codi and Jasper let us photograph them to our hearts content. Codi is doing much better, by the way. She's eating us out of house and home and her energy level has definitely improved. I think she's going to be just fine.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Google says what?
I think there comes a time in every blogger's life when she does the obligatory "gee, isn't it funny how people find my blog?" post. Well, my time has come. As This Sorta Fairytale nears its one-year anniversary (just a few weeks away, and I have a big surprise planned!) more and more random people seem to be ending up here because of a Google search. The more entertaining ones include:
Cats that hate their vet
Sorry, we've got two of them (Codi in particular hates Dr. F quite a bit right now) and there's really nothing that can be done for it as far as I know.
Employed by crappy medical office
You are? I'm sorry. Do you want Google to find you a new job?
If you give a mouse a cookie
This is probably the tenth hit I've gotten on this children's book title. GO TO BARNES AND NOBLE, PEOPLE!
marie antoinette movie ticket stub
I'm sorry, but WHY, for the love of Pete, would you do a Google search for this? Why?
bats missed by home inspection
The...BATS??? Oh lord, I'm sorry. I'm laughing, but I'm sorry.
babysitting disaster
Let's face it, I'm probably the poster child for this one.
Cats that hate their vet
Sorry, we've got two of them (Codi in particular hates Dr. F quite a bit right now) and there's really nothing that can be done for it as far as I know.
Employed by crappy medical office
You are? I'm sorry. Do you want Google to find you a new job?
If you give a mouse a cookie
This is probably the tenth hit I've gotten on this children's book title. GO TO BARNES AND NOBLE, PEOPLE!
marie antoinette movie ticket stub
I'm sorry, but WHY, for the love of Pete, would you do a Google search for this? Why?
bats missed by home inspection
The...BATS??? Oh lord, I'm sorry. I'm laughing, but I'm sorry.
babysitting disaster
Let's face it, I'm probably the poster child for this one.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Meme
All readers of Stirrup Queens have been tagged to do this meme, and since it seems like the right time of year to reflect back on 2006 and look forward to 2007, I decided to do it tonight.
Things I learned this year
1) Our new city agrees with me
2) I love dogs
People you met
1) I "knew" her already, but this year was the first time I really "met" Kathleen, who is one of my favorite people on Earth.
2) I also met all of my students, and in spite of their slacker tendancies, I really do love them.
Things you don't want to take with you into 2007
1) Infertility
2) A negative attitude
Things you want to hold close as you pass into 2007
1) My family
2) All the pets, but especially Codi since she's been so sick
Things you're looking forward to in 2007
1) Being a mom
2) Finishing my teaching certification
Things that were life changing in 2006
1) Getting a diagnosis for my infertility
2) Moving here from DC
Things you hope to accomplish by the end of 2007
1) Becoming a mom
2) Starting my Masters
Things I learned this year
1) Our new city agrees with me
2) I love dogs
People you met
1) I "knew" her already, but this year was the first time I really "met" Kathleen, who is one of my favorite people on Earth.
2) I also met all of my students, and in spite of their slacker tendancies, I really do love them.
Things you don't want to take with you into 2007
1) Infertility
2) A negative attitude
Things you want to hold close as you pass into 2007
1) My family
2) All the pets, but especially Codi since she's been so sick
Things you're looking forward to in 2007
1) Being a mom
2) Finishing my teaching certification
Things that were life changing in 2006
1) Getting a diagnosis for my infertility
2) Moving here from DC
Things you hope to accomplish by the end of 2007
1) Becoming a mom
2) Starting my Masters
Monday, December 04, 2006
Welcome Home, Codi!!!
The vet called this afternoon to say that he felt Codi was well enough to come home, so right after work I got to pick her up! She looks so much better. She's active, eating, and basically behaving like her old self. She's still painfully thin, but should fatten up pretty quickly again. We're going to take her back in next week for some follow-up tests, but for now at least she's not on any heart medication.
I can't even say how good it feels to have her back. We planned to put up our Christmas tree last week, but without her it just didn't feel right. Now our whole family is together again, and it looks like we're going to stay that way for a long, long time.
I can't even say how good it feels to have her back. We planned to put up our Christmas tree last week, but without her it just didn't feel right. Now our whole family is together again, and it looks like we're going to stay that way for a long, long time.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Gradually Improving
Well, the bad news is that Codi isn't coming home this weekend. She's steadily improving but she's started to have some small liver problems that mean that she needs to be tube fed for the next couple of days. Our vet doesn't think this is something we need to panic over, and apparently it's not uncommon for cats to develop these kinds of issues if they don't eat for a couple of days, but since she's still pretty lethargic he doesn't trust her to eat on her own if she comes home.
The good news is that overall her health is really improving, and the major problems that we've been so worried about for the last few days are resolving themselves. In the long run she's definitely going to have health problems related to this episode, but as long as she can recover from the events of this week we should be able to manage whatever those problems are. Ultimately I'm feeling pretty good about her prognosis right now, but we need to wait until these liver problems are fixed before we'll know exactly what the future will hold for her health-wise.
Thanks again for all of your thoughts and prayers for our little kitty, and I'll keep you updated if anything changes. For now, I need to get ready for my last class of the semester (WOO HOO!) and then buckle down for a weekend of non-stop grading.
The good news is that overall her health is really improving, and the major problems that we've been so worried about for the last few days are resolving themselves. In the long run she's definitely going to have health problems related to this episode, but as long as she can recover from the events of this week we should be able to manage whatever those problems are. Ultimately I'm feeling pretty good about her prognosis right now, but we need to wait until these liver problems are fixed before we'll know exactly what the future will hold for her health-wise.
Thanks again for all of your thoughts and prayers for our little kitty, and I'll keep you updated if anything changes. For now, I need to get ready for my last class of the semester (WOO HOO!) and then buckle down for a weekend of non-stop grading.
Friday, December 01, 2006
Cautiously Optimistic
First of all, thank you all SO MUCH for the well wishes you left in the comments section. It means a lot to me and J.
The best news is that Codi survived the night. I've talked to the vet twice today already and he's "cautiously encouraged" by her progress. The pulmonary edema (fluid in her lungs) has resolved itself. Yay!!! This means that she's not having trouble breathing anymore, so he's been able to get her off the oxygen.
The bad news is that her heart muscles are enlarged, which points emphatically towards heart failure. There's medication we can give her to manage it depending on how well she recovers from this episode, but in the long run, heart failure is still heart failure. She's also not eating yet or moving around much, but that doesn't seem to be concerning the vet too much. Given all the stress her poor little body has been under for the last 48 hours, lethargy is to be expected.
The vet is keeping her with him again tonight and we'll re-assess the situation again tomorrow afternoon. I hope she can come home, but I worry about what could happen if she starts having problems again while J and I are at work.
The best news is that Codi survived the night. I've talked to the vet twice today already and he's "cautiously encouraged" by her progress. The pulmonary edema (fluid in her lungs) has resolved itself. Yay!!! This means that she's not having trouble breathing anymore, so he's been able to get her off the oxygen.
The bad news is that her heart muscles are enlarged, which points emphatically towards heart failure. There's medication we can give her to manage it depending on how well she recovers from this episode, but in the long run, heart failure is still heart failure. She's also not eating yet or moving around much, but that doesn't seem to be concerning the vet too much. Given all the stress her poor little body has been under for the last 48 hours, lethargy is to be expected.
The vet is keeping her with him again tonight and we'll re-assess the situation again tomorrow afternoon. I hope she can come home, but I worry about what could happen if she starts having problems again while J and I are at work.
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