Wednesday, September 05, 2007

All by my-self

Well, J's paternity leave is over, my parents have come and gone, and now Luke and I are officially on our own. All day long. Every day until Thanksgiving.


I admit, yesterday (our first day alone together) was rough. He screamed, I cried, it was hard. Today was a bit better. He had his worst meltdown yet before 9:00 in the morning, but I managed to get him settled thanks to our swing-of-awesome-baby-soothing-powers which made me feel like I might just do an okay job at this mom thing. Of course, he napped for three hours after calming down and hasn't had a decent nap since (and we had another meltdown at Target tonight) but we're working on it.

The whole time I was pregnant, I never really pictured what this time would be like. I imagined what I'd feel when I met him for the first time (and, as imagined, it was incredible) and what it would be like to see him really smile at me, to start to crawl, to take his first steps, but never this brand-new newborn stage where eating, sleeping, pooping, and screaming are pretty much all he does. I can't say I'm loving every second of it, but it's amazing to watch him take in the world for the first time.

He's fascinated by our blinds, and will stare at them while he's eating or while we're walking around the house. He doesn't startle when the dog barks, which is amazing to me (though my reading tells me that it's probably because he heard Jasper barking while he was still in utero) and he's already starting to track our faces when we move above him. He adores the mirror Juan rigged above his Pack N Play, and one of my favorite games is to point out the baby in the mirror next to our staircase when we come down after a diaper change. He hates having a wet or dirty diaper, so the changing pad has become one of his favorite places in the house. We hung the quilt my mom made him above the changing table, and he'll grab for it every single time we set him down to be changed. I've never seen a baby so enthralled by a wall hanging before, and we need to get some better pictures of him with it because it's beyond cute to watch him reaching for the bright contrasting colors.

Every morning we read two books together before going downstairs to really start the day. I read Blueberries for Sal to him yesterday, and it brought back all kinds of memories of reading it with my own parents when I was little. There are so many books I want to share with him!

I could go on and on, and I probably should write all of these little things down in his baby book so I don't forget them. He's already getting bigger--he officially grew out of one of his smallest onesies this week, and his fingers suddenly seem huge. Where did my tiny baby go?

Yeah, I think we're going to do okay by ourselves for the next few months.


Bea said...

Good luck, though I'm sure you can handle it.


M said...

G loved venetian blinds for the first 2 months of life! I would sit in our room, rock her back and forth in front of them... then she would scream if I walked away. Amazing what sorts of boredom or hoops a parent will jump through to keep a baby happy, isn't it?

kuri & ping said...

I've been following your blog for some time, especially after I saw that we had a lot of things in common. We also tried for a baby for about 2 years and thought we couldn't have one. We were able to get pregnant right around the same time as you did and I've enjoyed reading your posts. Our daughter was born in mid-July after a difficult pregnancy but is doing well now.

This post made me laugh because it exactly mirrored my experience with her on our first day alone together which is why I decided to come out of lurkdom! I think I cried 4x the 1st day, and one less each following day. :) Looking forward to reading more!