Okay, OW!

I think I overdid it today.

In an effort to trick my body into going into labor, I've made all kinds of elaborate plans for the next seven days. Today I lugged all off the school supplies I bought over the weekend to my classroom in the hopes of getting the boxes that were already there unpacked. The administration moved me to a different room last weekend (at my request--I didn't want to be in the stinky hallway anymore) so I also needed to check out the furniture situation in my new digs.

Three hours later my room looks great (seriously, it rocks) but my back, pelvis, and feet are KILLING ME. I don't think I've been this sore since our move last year.

Baby is kicking away, so I know that he's doing well, but I feel like crap. It's all I could do to lift my foot from the gas to the brake while I was driving home, and now I've collapsed into a giant, moaning heap on the couch. Think I could train Jasper to get me a snack from the fridge?

Tomorrow is supposed to be devoted to finishing up some lesson planning and writing out the calendar for my long-term sub, and then I have a meeting with said sub on Wednesday. Also on Wednesday--makeup shopping. Then I'm going to do some serious art shopping on Thursday (after 13 months, J and I finally hung up some pictures yesterday and now I'm on a roll) followed by cooking/baking for post-baby meals on Friday. After today, though, sitting in my recliner and knitting for the next week sounds pretty good!

Of course, I'm really hoping that all of my activity will convince my body to just go into labor already, and I reserve the right to be seriously ticked off if it doesn't work.

No baby, but hey look at what I found at Target!

My 40 week appointment wasn't much fun. I still haven't made any progress whatsoever in spite of the fact that the baby's head is as far down as it can come. He's clearly ready, but my body has just decided that it would really rather stay pregnant forever, thankyouverymuch. The induction that I had assumed would be scheduled for late next week isn't going to be until the 13th thanks to a conference my doctor has to attend in DC. The news that I very possibly may have to stay pregnant for another 10 days (and that saying that my induction will be on the 13th is a bit disingenuous since I'll just go in that night to start Cervadil before really hitting the Pitocin hard the next morning) did not sit very well with me. In fact, I actually started crying a bit. So, it's no wonder that I left the hospital in a rather foul mood, which was compounded by the fact that we had even more rainstorms pass through yesterday.

I woke up in a slightly better mood this morning, though, so J and I went out for breakfast. Afterwards we headed to Target since the 4 Tums I had left in my last bottle clearly weren't going to be enough to sustain me for the next 9+ days. Once there, though, we hit the mother load. SCHOOL SUPPLY SALE!!! By "sale" I mean $.20 glue sticks, scissors, Crayola markers and crayons, 10 for $1 packs of spiral notebooks, etc... In other words, every teacher's wish come true. I loaded up a cart with the best of the goodies, and we headed over to the home improvement section to buy a thingamajig for an electronics project Juan is working on.

Before we got there, though, we glanced at the home decor department and found THE PERFECT RUG. We've been searching high and low for THE PERFECT RUG since we moved into our house last summer and realized that hardwood floors like ours need rugs. Pretty rugs. PERFECT rugs. We're too picky for our own good, though, because everything we saw had something wrong with it. This one had too much green, that one was too thin, and the one over there cost $700. THE PERFECT RUG, however, is, well, perfect. It's red and dark orange, looks fantastic with our redwood baseboards, and even compliments my armchair, which is may be the hardest piece of furniture in the world to match something with. It was also less than $100, making it THE PERFECT RUG.

Jasper thinks that it's Christmas morning or something, he's that happy about the rug (why? Who knows.) and I must say that getting all of the supplies my classroom will need for the next year has made me a very happy camper. I'm still not thrilled by the thought of staying pregnant for another week and a half (not to mention the though of a lengthy induction) but today's finds have certainly perked up my mood. Never discount the benefits of retail therapy, my friends. Never.

EDD

Well, it's here. My due date. Apparently nobody forwarded that memo to the baby, though, because he seems to be perfectly content to stay right where he is.

Actually, in spite of the fact that I may or may not have promised to give him lots and lots of presents if he decides that today is a good day to have a birthday, I'm okay if he just hangs out for a little longer. We just had the worst rainstorm of the season (it's starting to slow down now) and many of the roads between our house and the hospital aren't in great shape.

That said, we're serving him an eviction notice at my appointment tomorrow. My doctor doesn't want me to go much past 40 weeks, so we'll schedule an induction for sometime next week, though hopefully I'll go into labor on my own before then.

I know I've said it before, but I just can't believe how quickly this pregnancy has gone by. A year ago we were just starting to work with the amazing Dr. M, and now I'm getting ready to have a baby. Un-freaking-believable.

Seven Days

39 weeks down, one more to go. I'm alternating between feeling like this kid can't come quickly enough (J predicts his arrival daily) and telling him very sternly that August 2 is the absolute earliest date he's allowed to decide it's time to met Mom and Dad. For their parts, my extended family has started betting on due dates (I've got August 4) and every time I call my parents to chat or pass on some piece of information I hear a little note of disappointment in their voices when I have to say that no, nothing is happening on the baby front.

In short, everyone (except possibly me) thinks that it should be baby time!

On a related note, the nursery is done and I think it looks fantastic!



Here you can see the bookcase that J just finished making last weekend. Clearly, we are far from completing our picture book collection!



You can hardly see it, but on top of the bookcase is a wooden pull toy (a train of zoo animals) that holds a very special place in our hearts. J and I bought it at a craft fair back in Maryland during one of the darkest months of our infertility struggles. I saw it, fell in love, and proceeded to spend the next two hours agonizing over whether or not to buy it. J persuaded me that I'd regret it if I didn't, and that buying it wouldn't jinx anything, so I took a deep breath and pulled out my credit card. When we got home I put it (still in the bag) on the top shelf of our guest room closet. I didn't open the bag again until last weekend, when I put it on top of the bookcase. I can't even describe what that felt like--just the act of pulling it out, dusting it off, and throwing that old bag away was a victory.

One more vistory, and one more week to (officially) go until motherhood. Maybe I'm more ready for this than I think I am.

Practice Makes Perfect

Everyone keeps telling me that the wonders of late pregnancy (which, to date, include insomnia, pain, and an inability to just pack up and run away to the mountains when the heat here gets to be too much) are just preparing me for motherhood. And overall, I'm cool with that. I don't really need more than 4-5 hours of sleep a night and I can cope with quite a bit of discomfort--after all, I've already gone through an HSG, an endometrial biopsy, a hysteroscopy, and a laparoscopy for this baby, so what's a bit of pelvic pain and pressure every time I change positions? Even the mountain getaway doesn't bother me--it might be nice to hop in the car and drive 60 miles to cool New Mexico when the temperatures here hit the triple digits, but realistically we probably wouldn't have time/energy to go even if I wasn't pushing 38 weeks.

So overall, late pregnancy is agreeing with me almost as much as mid-pregnancy did. Early pregnancy can bite me, but that's a whole different post.

There's just one teeny tiny thing that's bugging me right now, though. Laundry. Oh, the laundry. Not just the insane first-time mom preparation laundry I'm doing for the baby, either. No, this is my personal laundry, which I'm doing at least twice a week now because I only have four tops and two pairs of pants left and I somehow manage to spill on at least one article of clothing every 7.5 hours. Ergo, LOTS of laundry is being done around here at the moment.

Again, this should simply serve to prepare me for motherhood. I'd be an idiot to think that baby doesn't equal lots and LOTS of laundry. Poopy laundry at that, which is at least one joy I'm not having to deal with just yet. Still, I would love to have a wardrobe large enough that would actually get me through an entire week without having to run a load or two. I'd love to be able to wear something other than my green tank with the beads or the red top with the little white flowers or the green t-shirt (that probably should be retired from the rotation due to bleached spots around the neckline, but that would leave me with only three shirts) or the white top with blue embroidery.

I swear, when I'm back down to my pre-pregnancy size I will never again look in my full-to-bursting closet and complain that I have nothing to wear.

I have 15 days left. It would be incredibly wasteful to spend money on more clothes at this point. I'd get to wear something new maybe 4-5 times before it wouldn't fit anymore thanks to the miracle of childbirth. And yet, I had to literally hold myself back from the maternity section at Target earlier today because the rack of $10 t-shirts was calling my name.

It's practice, C. It's just practice for the baby. The baby you've wanted so desperately for so long. What's a few loads of laundry when you think of that? Well, not much when you think about it that way, but boy it would be nice to actually get to wait until the hamper was full before having to face the washer and dryer.

Thirty Days

Well, this is it. My due date is 30 days from today, and as excited as I am to meet my son, I'm also feeling totally overwhelmed and unprepared. Certain pieces do seem to be falling into place rather nicely, though, and right now it looks like Juan will be able to take a week of vacation after his 4 days of paternity leave are up. My parents will be arriving just before he goes back to work, and that should leave me with constant help/support at home for the first two weeks or so of my life as a mom.

The good news for me is that the baby doesn't seem to be in a big hurry to come yet. I've only had (what I think was) one real contraction, my Braxton Hicks are still irregular and infrequent, and while I know I've dropped a bit, I'm still carrying fairly high. Our last doctor's appointment confirmed that he's head-down, which is good, and my doctor and I had a nice talk about what I do and don't want during labor and delivery. I see him again on Friday.

Hopefully my posts for the next 30 days will all be as dull as this one. STAY PUT, LITTLE BABY!!!

Holy baby explosion, Batman!

So, we went shopping today. To Babies R Us. And, well, there was a coupon. And some gift cards. And maybe we got a little carried away. Two hours later, our car was full to the brim with baby gear and we were significantly poorer. The nursery is shaping up nicely, though!

Pictures to come--we still have a bit of cleaning and assembling to do!

In other news, J graduated from internship today (WOO HOO!) and was named Internal Medicine Intern of the Year! He found out about it yesterday morning but let me be surprised when the award was actually announced. I was so surprised that I forgot to take a picture of him accepting the award, though. I'm pretty proud of him--he's worked so hard this year, and it's wonderful to see him get recognized for it.

Random Thoughts

Since I can't seem to write a coherent post on a single subject today, here are some random and unrelated thoughts that have been running through my head lately:

--I love planning. Love organizing. Love preparing to do projects. Finishing them is another story, but I rock at planning.

--J and I went to PetSmart last week to buy Jasper a new Kong and almost came home with a new kitten. We're crazy cat people in training.

--J has been growing a mustache for a hospital facial-hair-growing contest for the last month, and has FINALLY agreed to shave it off when the contest is over. This is a very good thing.

--There are currently four shopping bags full of newly-purchased stuff on my kitchen table. Some have been sitting there for two weeks. Maybe I should do something about that.

--I'm wearing mascara for the first time today. I think I like it.

--In spite of my resolution to not buy a ton of maternity clothes, my collection is slowly growing. I dearly hope that some of my friends who are TTC right now will want these things when I'm done with them!

--I can't believe that school is out in just two weeks. Where did this year go?

--I signed my contract for next year. My principal agreed to a modified version of the plan the assistant principal and I cooked up, so I'll be coming back to work around Thanksgiving instead of in early October. I'm really happy with the way this has turned out.

Decisions, decisions...

Apologies (once again) for the lack of blog posts lately. There have been a lot of things on my mind, but I felt that I needed to work some of them out on my own before writing about them. First and foremost, J and I sat down last week when I got my contract for the 2007-2008 school year and went over our budget. Surprise, surprise, we can afford for me to stay home next year.

This is what I always thought I wanted. Back when we first started trying to have a baby, one of the things we agreed on was that I'd quit my job to be a stay at home mom for at least a year or two. Back then, of course, I felt like my soul was being sucked from my eyeballs every day when I walked into the office, so the idea of quitting to be a full-time parent was very appealing. Fast forward two years, and everything is different. I love my job. I love my students, love my coworkers, and love how happy I am to go to work every day. Do I get frustrated and annoyed sometimes? Of course. Do I love my job? Yes. More than I ever thought I could. Do I still want to stay at home next year? I don't know.

Some days I feel like staying home is the only reasonable course of action. I don't want to miss minute of Button's first year of life, and it's not as if taking a year off will prevent me from going back into teaching once we're all ready for me to work again. Then I start thinking about my school and everything gets very, very complicated. I don't want to leave my school. I don't want to leave the wonderful kids I teach, don't want to leave the great friends I've made there (two of whom are also pregnant and due in the next few months), and I don't want to feel like I've spent so much time and energy getting certified just to leave a great position. Since I've only worked for the district for a year, they don't (and won't) hold my position until I want to come back. It's always possible that another English spot would open up in 2008-2009, but chances aren't great that it'll happen.

Complicating factor number two is that J works a lot. A whole lot. Life as a resident won't be much different for him (or us) than life as an intern has been. He'll still pull 80-100 hour weeks. It's going to suck whether I stay home or go back to work, and I'm not sure which decision will ultimately be best for our family and for our marriage. I worry about feeling lonely or isolated staying at home, especially since we won't have a lot of money for activities like Gymboree or music groups. Plus, all of my friends work and live on the opposite side of town. Sure, it's only a 20-25 minute drive, but I know myself too well to think that I won't feel at least a little abandoned, particularly on days when the baby just won't stop fussing.

So, I don't know. I have to make my decision soon since my contract needs to be signed by next Friday if I'm going to accept it. Signing and then quitting isn't really a viable option--the district WILL blackball me if I break a contract, and with so few districts in this area, I can't afford to lock myself out of employment with any one of them.

Reflections

I've spent a lot of time this week complaining. I'm not sleeping well, I have a major paper due next week that I'm struggling with, and I've spent the whole week administering state-assessment exams to freshmen and sophomores. I miss my students!

And yet. Life seems to have a way of reminding us that most of the things that we complain about really doesn't matter. Yes, these things are annoying and bothersome, but they're not true problems. They're certainly nothing like the problems I was having last year.

Two years ago this week Juan and I decided to start our family. One year ago this week I was standing on the brink of serious infertility testing and treatment. This week? My biggest problem is that I'm going to have to spend the weekend holed up with my laptop doing research. Sort of puts things in perspective. Of course, even my infertility struggles are insignificant compared to the recent tragedy at Virginia Tech.

Perspective is an interesting thing. I'm thankful to be able to have it.

Making arrangements

Touring daycares is a somewhat surreal experience. At the moment we're planning to share a nanny with some neighbors, but if that falls through I wanted to have a backup option in place. So, early last week I did some investigating and found the names of some highly recommended centers in our area. They passed my first test (they didn't need me to make an appointment before coming in for a tour) and I was really impressed with the center directors and staff.

Still, it was surreal. At certain points in the tour I found myself wondering if this was actually happening to me or not. I saw parents come in to pick up their kids at the end of the day and it didn't seem possible that that could be me in just a few months. When looking at the status report pages they make for every kid at the end of the day, I started to feel like a phony. What was I doing looking at these things? What was I doing at a daycare? The director was treating me like a parent--what kind of a crazy place was this?

It literally took getting a glimpse of my (rather obviously) pregnant reflection in a window to jerk me back into reality.

So, we're on the waiting list for the center and will be continuing to meet with the prospective nanny and our neighbors over the next few weeks. Due to some family issues our meeting for this weekend fell through, but we've got a date set up for the end of the month.

Next up: disassembling our guest room/library so we can start getting the nursery together.

Pregmentia strikes!

It's been well established that I can be a colossal ditz at times. I'm beginning to wonder if I should even be allowed outside the house, though, because of the stupid stuff I consistantly can't remember. Insignificant things like:

-The names of my students
-The names of books we've read in class (the kids totally nailed me on this one today--I was so embarassed!)
-Setting my alarm

Oh, and the teeny, tiny little matter of MY OWN NAME!

Last night at class I was getting ready to leave when one of my friends pulled me aside to ask if everything was okay at home. I was a little surprised that she was asking because I didn't remember mentioning anything about my home life to her recently, so I told her that no, everything was fine, and asked why she thought things might not be okay. Her answer? I had signed my maiden name on the class roster that night.

Whoops.

This wouldn't be so embarassing if I hadn't done exactly the same thing last week. Now, I did use my maiden name professionally while we lived in the DC area, so it's not like I've been using my married name for very long, but still! At least it makes for a somewhat amusing story (Juan got a kick out of it when I told him) so I guess pregmentia is at least good for a laugh. I just hope what little memory power I used to have comes back when this baby is born!

Okay, SEATTLE!

My earlier post got me motivated to download all the Seattle pictures from my visit with Kathleen. In short, the trip was AWESOME! I don't think we stopped talking all weekend (even Brett commented on how we wouldn't shut up--apparently we kept him awake a few nights because of it!) and we went all over the city. If you ever need a Seattle tour guide, Kathleen is your girl!


No trip to Seattle is complete with a trip to the Troll on Troll Ave! Kathleen and I thought about climbing up on his arm, but, well, we were too chicken. It's a lot steeper than it looks!


Then we saw these two Hummer limos just parked on a random street. It seemed odd, so I took a picture. What can I say, it had us in stitches at the time!


Then Kathleen took me on a tour of the building where she works, and in addition to the very cool elevator room, we got to go up on the roof. What a view! This is me, being very goofy (and windblown!) with the Space Needle.


We met up with our friend Minda a couple of times, which was a blast. She just had a gorgeous baby girl, and I had a hard time believing her when she said that the little one was a handful at home. All she did was sleep and coo when we were around! I can only hope to be so lucky with Button!


And finally, the two of us at the airport just before I left for home. We had our millionth cup of yummy Seattle coffee here, and I was very reluctant to get on the plane.

And, in other news, my latest belly shot (20 weeks 2 days) is below. I'm officially feeling huge!

Drumroll please...

In short, Button is a....BOY!!!!! He is unquestionably a boy, and we've got more than one ultrasound picture to prove it.

For those who want the long version, the ultrasound went very well. Button has a lovely spine, a beautiful heart, and two of the cutest little hands you've ever seen. He was a bit hyperactive, so it took the tech quite awhile to get all the necessary measurements, but when all is said and done everything looks good. I'm measuring right on target (19 weeks 5 days for those keeping score at home) and aside from a little bit more weight gain than we'd all like to see, all is well. We're still without a name (though Juan did buy a baby name book at Barnes and Noble tonight and promises to actually take a look at it one of these days since he's shot down almost all of my boy name suggestions) but I don't expect that will last for long.

I confess that I'm in a little bit of shock after today. Not only was I almost completely convinced that we were having a girl (because really, how often are the Snarkies wrong?) but knowing that we're having a boy makes it all a little bit more real. I know I'm repeating myself here, but I can't believe how fast all of this is going, and I especially can't believe that in just 20 more weeks we're going to become a family of three.

Kicking around my head

I think I'm recovering.

In the past two weeks, I've been able to have conversations about potential (and actual) accidental pregnancies with several friends who needed support. For the first time in almost two years, I didn't feel like crying when thinking about someone else getting pregnant without even trying. I was able to be there for my friends, to talk them through their feelings, and to keep in mind that the conversation was about them, not about me.

This is huge. I know I couldn't have done it before getting pregnant myself, and I honestly don't think that I could have even done it during my first trimester. Every day that goes by I feel more like a normal, healthy pregnant woman, and not like someone who is broken inside. I don't feel like a leper anymore. I don't feel out of place in the "normal" crowd. It's something that continues to both puzzle and delight me, but it also has less positive implications for other parts of my life.

Mel has a great post at Stirrup Queens right now about belonging in the infertility community. Her (admirable) opinion is that once a member, always a member. Pregnancy doesn't mean that your membership is revoked, and no matter how you get pregnant, your feelings while going through infertility were real and valid and should always be respected as such. I read her post last night and almost cried because I don't feel like I belong anymore. I don't know if it's the fact that I'm pregnant or the fact that I was ultimately able to get pregnant without ART, but I no longer feel like I'm a "real" member of the community.

On a purely clinical level, my issue has to do with the fact that I was unquestionably infertile before the lap but have no idea whether the surgery fixed everything permanantly or not. Am I considered subfertile? Fertile for awhile? Fertile for good? No one knows, and honestly we probably won't know until Juan and I start trying for #2. That won't be happening for quite awhile, and until then I'm just not sure where I fall. Without a definitive diagnosis (and goodness knows I'm not going to spend much time thinking about the fact that I'm back in the pre-diagnosis phase) I feel like I'm in limbo. I'm caught between the infertile and fertile worlds and not completely sure I belong in either. "Recovering" seems to be the best term for how I think of myself at the moment, but as grateful as I am for everything that's happened to me since Thanksgiving, I'm also grieving for what I've lost. I miss feeling like I belong to a group, and as much as I my head agrees with Mel that once someone has gone through the pain of infertility they should belong to that group forever, my heart isn't so sure.

Being infertile was a huge part of my identity for a long time, and I guess my ultimate question is who am I now? What emotional identity comes between infertilty and motherhood?

Fine, fine

Okay, so I've been really good about not asking everyone to tell me how pregnant I look in spite of my complete lack of a baby belly. Still, as I think the below photo will show, I think I'm actually showing now! So, enjoy. I may be headless, but that's definitely a bump.


17 weeks 0 days

Can someone direct me to that river in Egypt?

If you'd asked me last week if I was having pregnancy-induced mood swings I would have said no. I felt fine, hadn't been this happy in over a year, and everything was hunky dory. I even felt snugly superior about my lack of mood swings. Boy, am I eating some humble pie now!

In short, this was the weekend-o-bitchiness. I bitched at Juan about his hours, bitched at my friends about issues at school, bitched at anyone who would listen about the research paper abstract I'm working on, bitched at Juan again about how crappy this Valentine's Day is going to be because I'm in class until after 9:00 that night, and wrapped it all up today by yelling at two students (which they deserved--it wasn't just my moodiness, I had several other non-pregnant teachers agree with how I handled the situation) and then crying on the phone with the ultrasound department at the hospital because they were giving me grief about when I want to schedule my appointment. I really need to cut this whole crying on the phone thing out. I hate it when I do that.

So, in short, the moodiness has officially set in. This is my way of issuing a pre-emptive apology to anyone I get irritable with over the nxt 6 months or so. I don't mean it, I swear. These hormones seriously have a mind of their own.

boom boom boom boom boom

We had a good doctor's appointment today.

First, we got to hear Button's heartbeat. The doctor had no trouble at all finding it and everything sounds great. Once Juan and I had listened to our hearts' content, we reviewed my blood tests from my last appointment (normal) and I got a little lecture about my weight. Apparently I'm 2 lbs. over where I should be. Nothing to worry about at this point, but I should probably lay off the Rice Krispy treats for awhile.

Then we started talking about my next appointment. The "big" appointment, complete with anatomy ultrasound and (drumroll please) finding out if Button is a boy or a girl. I can schedule it anytime in the next 3-5 weeks, which has me a little freaked out. Three to five weeks? That's no time at all! Heck, spring break isn't even for another month, and here was Dr. M telling me that we could find out our baby's sex before I leave on vacation.

This pregnancy feels like it's just flying by. I'm already in the second trimester, we're starting to look at furniture, and it's slowly sinking in that we're actually going to be parents come August. You'd think that after trying to get pregnant for almost two years, I wouldn't be so...amazed at that fact, but I am. It just seems incredible that our lives are going to change so much so soon.

Happy (belated) Blog-iversary

So, the actual 1 year anniversary of this blog was a week ago, but seeing as how I've been drowning in work (and living in a lot of denial about how much I still have left to do every night for the next couple of months) I didn't notice. Oops! So, happy blogiversary to me!

I thought I'd take a look back everything that's happened to me over the last year. Note, this was originally supposed to come with links, but I'm too damn tired and overwhelmed with work to add them. Sorry, but you can navigate by months on my sidebar if you'd like to read posts I mention here

January:
-Began this blog
-Started the spiral into a depression over not being pregnant
-Put our condo on the market

February
-Took a fantastic trip to Boston and Maine
-Had the best Valentine's Day on record
-Got in a car accident
-Finally called my doctor to start the fertility testing process
-Took the infamous photo of a knife I almost stabbed Juan in the foot with

March
-Hit a peak in my depression over not being able to get pregnant
-Had the crappiest 25th birthday on record
-Visited my family in Utah and posted about all the things I dislike about my home state
-Was picked up as an evil liberal blogger on a conservative Utah blog for the aforementioned post
-Still didn't sell our condo

April
-Had my first RE appointment with the most evil Nurse Practitioner known to man
-Took a trip to California with a mysterious "Item X"
-Had my HSG and was officially diagnosed as infertile
-Took a trip to our new town and placed an offer on a house

May
-Lost our contract on the house because our condo still hadn't sold
-Wrote my all-time favorite post on being an infertile 20-something
-Quit my job
-Got an offer on our condo
-Lost our buyer after just a week
-Found out that our dream house in Texas was back on the market and placed a new offer
-Got another offeron the condo from a new buyer
-My dad was hit by a car while riding his bike in North Carolina
-J graduated from medical school
-Left DC for Texas

June
-Took a trip to Vegas
-Entered a new chapter in infertility-related depression
-Closed on our Texas house and moved in
-Did not find a job

July
-Started seeing a new doctor about infertility
-Adopted Jasper
-Got admitted to grad school to become a teacher

August
-Survived our massive flooding
-Still didn't have a job
-Joined Operation Common Thread
-Celebrated my parents' 25th wedding anniversary
-Started school

September
-Had a laparoscopy and FINALLY got a diagnosis for our infertility--scar tissue
-Wrote an angry letter to NBC over a stupid, prejudicial story they did on young, infertile women
-Encountered the centipedes from hell
-Interviewed for a job as a high school English teacher
-Took a road trip to Utah

October
-Didn't hear from the school after my interview, assumed I didn't get the job
-Got another negative pregnancy test
-GOT THE TEACHING POSITION!
-Decided to hold off on calling the RE to start IUIs
-Started my 20th cycle of TTC

November
-Was busy at work
-GOT PREGNANT!!!
-Our cat Codi went into heart failure and spent a week in critical condition

December
-Codi came home!
-Finished my first semester of teaching
-Annouced my pregnancy to my family and the internet at large

Houston, we have a heartbeat!

This is possibly one of the best days of my life! We arrived at the appointment and were ushered into the doctor's office almost immediately. Dr. M congratulated us, we spent a few minutes catching up since I hadn't seen him since my surgery in September, and then he sent us into the ultrasound room to get a look at the Button! In short, things look perfect! She was doing backflips, mooning the doctor, and giving us a very nice look at her arms, legs, head, heart, spine, etc... We saw everything.

(for those who may be wondering why I'm referring to Button as "she", no, we didn't find out the sex yet, but I'm getting a very strong girl vibe right now)

I confess that I cried a bit when Dr. M turned the screen around and let me look at my baby for the first time. I can't even describe what the moment felt like. Humbling. Shocking. Inspiring. There's no one word that can sum it all up, but suffice it to say that I'm very, very happy.

The family has officially been cleared to share the news, and I'm told that my mom has already told two of her friends about the Button. I think she's probably going to have an "Official Member of the Grandma Club" t-shirt printed shortly. For his part, my dad is researching webcams and giving me nutritional instructions over the phone. I probably don't need to say that they're excited.

Welcome to the family, Button! You've got a lot of people who are already anxious to meet you!