Strange Things Found in My Office, or Why the $%#*& Did I Keep This?

I've now spent the last two days de-personal-item-izing my office. Since I just moved into this office from a cube down the hall 18 months ago, you wouldn't think that I'd have that much crap to deal with. You would be wrong. So far I have found:

-14 plastic straws from Subway (Why? I don't even use plastic straws)
-1 bobble-head doll of one of our former clients
-4 collectible pins from cities I've never visited
-Approximately 47,000 copies of a single issue of our in-house newspaper that contains one tiny story I wrote three years ago.
-NO copies of the issue of our in-house newspaper where I was the author of both front-page stories.
-3 glass vases
-1 knee-length cardigan minus its sash
-1 winter hat I thought I'd lost two years ago
-3 videos of news stories I never watched about a program I run (oops)
-7 bottles of lotion
-1 giant Super Bowl XL mug and t-shirt
-3 calendars from 2004
-$5 worth of pennies
-and a partridge in a pear tree

Tomorrow I'm going to tackle my e-mail inbox. 8,615 items of pure fun!