The news

Juan didn't get the job. We're sad, disappointed, and sadly in flux regarding future plans. We might stay, we might go, and the decision has to be made in the next three weeks. No pressure, though.

That's all I've got right now. It's been a bit of a rollercoaster for the last few days and I still have papers to grade tonight. More later when there's more to tell.

No news is...no news. Also, news!

No announcement has been made yet about the Chief position. We don't know when the word will come down (tomorrow morning at the earliest, though) or if the decision has even been made yet. It's frustrating, but we'll deal with what comes.

In other news, today was the first day back at school. My students were great, I had a lot of fun, and we get to do it all over again tomorrow. Yay! Oh, and as an added bonus I get to teach a 9 week novel study class to a small group of students who all enjoy reading and discussing books. It's a little reward for them since they passed their state competency exams last year and one for me after I taught test prep during that slot for the last two years.

Finally, I'm officially down 16 lbs since I started Weight Watchers seven weeks ago. I honestly can't believe I've managed to lose that much so quickly. Twelve more to go until the promised land!

Looking Ahead

It's going to be a long week. Tomorrow is my last day of summer before heading back to work for (possibly) my last school year here. Being perfectly honest, I'm nervous about leaving Luke at daycare (because it's new, not because I don't trust our center) but heartbroken that this time next year there's a very good chance I won't be teaching at my current school.

This is the last year of Juan's residency, and he's interviewing for the Chief Resident position Wednesday. If he gets it, we'll stay until June 2010. If he doesn't, we'll leave at the end of this school year. The decision will be announced next Monday, which just so happens to be my first day of classes. If he doesn't get the job have to find a realtor, cancel tentative plans to visit family over Spring Break in favor of a house-hunting trip to wherever it is we'll be heading, and I'll have to begin putting my portfolio in order so I can hit the ground running job-wise next summer. I don't want to do any of those things. I want to play with my baby, go shopping with my friends, and know I have time to start building up a stronger AP program at my school because I'm going to be there to see those plans come to fruition. In short, I want to stay.

So, if you have any spare "good luck" thoughts/prayers floating around, please send them Juan's way this week. There's a lot more riding on the panel's decision about who will become Chief than just his job.

Happy Birthday, Sweet Boy!

I can't believe you're a year old already. As cliche as it is, the last year has just flown by and all of a sudden my little baby has become a walking, talking toddler. I tell you all the time that you're not allowed to get any bigger, but you don't listen and frankly I don't really want you to. Watching you explore the world and learn how to relate to it has been the highlight of my life.



You love books, your sippy cup, and all animals. Everything is a doggy to you right now, except your beloved rubber ducks who you invariably refer to as "ducky!" You're the most amazingly tactile kid I've ever met--you won't put much in your mouth (even food some days) but you need to touch EVERYTHING you see. Textures fascinate you, and I can't wait until you're a bit older and I can introduce you to modeling clay, finger paints, and paper mache.



This summer has been chock full of disruptions, from Daddy and I leaving you with Grandma and Grandpa for the first time ever while we went to Greece, to you and me going to visit them for three weeks last month. I worried, as I am wont to do, that you wouldn't deal well with all the changes in our routine and surroundings, but you handled them all beautifully. I continue to be amazed at how flexible you are when it comes to where you sleep and how you spend your days. I am the furthest thing from flexible about certain things, and I hope I don't pass that trait along to you.



Last week we had your birthday party and you had only one wish for the entire day--to be allowed to play with the balloons from dawn until dusk.



I think you enjoyed the balloons even more than your first bite of cake with frosting, though you decided cake was pretty good after the first few tentative tastes. By the time you decided you were finished, you were so covered with blue frosting that we had to take a break from the party to rinse you off in the wading pool. You didn't mind much.



Next week school starts up for me again, and the transition is going to be rough on both of us, I fear. We've had a wonderful little summer at home, and now you'll be starting at a real daycare for at least the next few months. It's going to be different, but hopefully in a good way.

I love you, sweet precious boy, and I can't wait to see what the next year holds for us. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I'm so thankful every day that I get to call myself your Mama.

D is for...

"DUCKY! Duuuuucky! Ddddddducky!"

Do you know how difficult it is to work on lessons (AP lessons, no less, that I'll be delivering in less than THREE weeks) with an adorable boy talking about his new favorite animal upstairs? It's hard. Very hard.

In other news, Luke now also says "Doggy" and "Daddy" but with far less precision than "Ducky." Every person he knows is "Daddy" and every animal except a duck is "Doggy."

Updatey

Many apologies for going dark--Luke and I have been living the high life with my parents in Salt Lake for the last couple of weeks and blogging (actually, all things Internet) has really gone by the wayside. Lots of pictures to follow when we're home and I have access to my camera cables again, but for now we'll just run down the numbers:

-Number of days Luke has woken up before 6:00 am: 7
-Number of days I have woken up before 9:00 am: 2
-Number of days my dad has gotten up at the crack of dawn to play with the baby so I can get some freaking sleep: All
-Number of pounds I've lost since starting Weight Watchers: 9.2
-Number of pieces of mouth watering homemade cherry pie I've refused: 47
-Number of points in one piece of mouth watering homemade cherry pie: 9
-Number my baby will be turning in just 13 short days: 1

So, as you can see I've paradoxically become the queen of both sloth and willpower on this trip. Hopefully returning to "real life" shortly will cure the former but not the latter. Hope you're all enjoying the last few days of July!

Progress Report--Week 1

I fully expected that this entry would be full of whining about how hard it was to stick to a diet, especially since I've never tried to really watch what I eat before. Therefore, I'm pleasantly surprised to report that staying on my Weight Watchers plan has been really, really easy. I've eaten more fruits and vegetables in the last 7 days than I think I have in the last 7 months; realized that most of my favorite foods are still okay to eat as long as I A: don't eat them every day, and B: limit my portions; and upped my activity level. Result? I'm down 4 pounds from this time last week.

Now obviously I'm not going to lose that much every week, but it's nice to know that this diet is really working. My challenge this week is to keep up my good eating habits while having to eat out once a day due to a conference I'm attending. I went over my daily "target" points today without trying at all, so I need to really buckle down if I'm going to do continue my good progress.

Rain, rain go away

Three straight days of rain. Three straight days of MONSOON rain, almost a month before monsoon season is supposed to start. Three straight days of being cooped up indoors because of the piss-poor drainage that's caused the main roads near us to flood. Three straight days of grey skies and canceled activities. Boo.

Accountability

Scene: One year ago, C's OB/GYN's office

Dr. J: I see here that you've gained [insert unspeakably high number] pounds during your pregnancy. I'm concerned that you're going to have trouble taking them off.

C: Pshaw, I gained the weight, I can take it off. How hard can it be to lose [unspeakably high number] pounds when you're running around after a baby and breastfeeding?

Dr. J: Just so we're clear, I'm not going to answer that question for fear that you'll throw something at me.

C: I'll be fine, trust me.


Scene: Last month, in C's bathroom

C: Hmmm... I wonder what I weigh these days? I'll just pull out the old scale and find out.

*steps on scale*

*Silence*

C: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

C: That can't be right! I weighed this much when I was 6 months pregnant!

*thinks*

C: I guess all those pints of Haagen-Daz have been adding up. And the Pirate's Booty. And the egg rolls. And every other piece of crap I've shoved into my mouth without thinking about it for the last few months. Fock. I need to go on a diet. Maybe I'll just try eating sensibly on my own. I'll be fine on my own.


Scene: Last weekend

C: Hm, wonder how that DIY diet I've been kind-of sort-of doing is coming along?

*steps on scale*

*silence*

C: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Two more pounds? What the hell??? "Fine" my ass.


Scene: This morning

*type, type, type*

*type, type, type*

*type, type, type*

C: Okay, it's done. I'm officially a a Weight Watcher. I wasn't "fine" gaining all the weight during my pregnancy, I wasn't "fine" trying to lose weight on my own, and I'm definitely not "fine" weighing this much. Hopefully this works.

End Scene

My hope is that by making my weight loss attempts public I'll be a bit more motivated to stick with it when the novelty of entering every bite that I take into the computer wears off. I'm trying to lose 26 pounds by parent/teacher conferences in early November, which seems do-able all things considered. Today was my first full day on the diet, and I was surprised at how not-hungry I've been. A half cup of pasta with meat sauce can be surprisingly filling, and a serving of sorbet is almost as good as a pint of caramel ice cream after dinner. Baby steps.

Accountability-wise, since Mondays are my official WW weigh-in days, I'm going to start posting here about my progress every Monday as well. Wish me luck!

The sound of evil

I hate the ice cream truck. Every afternoon at 3:30 pm it rolls through our neighborhood BLARING the pinwheel song, and every afternoon at 3:31 Luke wakes up from his afternoon nap SCREAMING at the top of his lungs because no amount of white noise can drown out the music.

If he would go down for an earlier nap our problems would be solved, but alas he's steadfastly refused to go down a second earlier than 3:00 for the last month. Other than bribing the driver to skip our street (or at least turn the music down) what other options do I have? Homicide has come to mind, but I think that might be a bit of an overreaction.

I'm sorry, were you saying something?

Because while you had your back turned, look what Luke was up to



and then he did this



and this



No, it's not really walking, but considering that he's pointedly ignored the push toy since we bought it two months ago, I think of this as significant progress in that direction.

Like a Fish in Water

I swear, there are days when I wonder what the heck I've been doing here for the last two years. The city continues to surprise me with new hidden gems I never even knew existed, and today was a case in point. Who knew the base had a free water park for kids under 4?



Did I mention that it was free?

Luke loved it once he got over his initial fear of the bigger kids who were splashing nearby. He crawled all over the shallow end (eventually going in up to his chin before wanting to be carried around again), did some splashing himself, and generally had the time of his life.





I think this is going to become a weekly ritual for us now that we know it exists. The best part is that we have a little group of friends-with-babies who will be going with us on future excursions. Swimming fun for all!

Open letters

Dear Newly Divorced Man Across the Street,

I noticed this morning that you invested in some new artwork for your truck. "I swapped my wife for a gun--it was a great deal" is both a rather bold statement to make and a great way to let your neighbors know that not only are you bitter towards your ex, but now you're also armed! Thanks for the heads-up.

Sincerely,
C (who really hopes you didn't go out and buy a gun)


Dear Colorblind Couple at the End of the Block,

Did you know that your house was a lovely shade of buttercream up until last fall? It was. I often thought that yours was one of the prettiest homes on the street, and that was saying a lot. We have some beautiful homes here. Now, I don't know you personally, but I've been assuming that you both suffer from some form of colorblindness after the fateful day last November when I came home from work to discover that you had repainted your house pea green. Not a pretty pea green (if such a color exists) either, truly the ugliest shade of 70s throwback pea green I've ever seen. I dearly hope you're not planning to try to sell your home...ever because no matter how it looks on the inside I just can't imagine potential buyers doing anything other than screaming and running away once they catch a glimpse of the exterior.

Sincerely,
C (who really, really hopes you're planning to re-paint soon)


Dear Frozen in Time Neighbors,

I'm not sure if you got the memo, but Christmas was almost 6 months ago. I know, feels like yesterday, doesn't it? The thing is, the unwritten rule about holiday decorations is that they're supposed to be taken down no later than the end of January. Seeing as how one usually doesn't display 3/4 scale nativity scenes on a year-round basis, I'm going to assume that you forgot about it (and are shut-ins since it's really difficult to miss it in your front yard) or have no idea that it's actually almost July now. Either way, I'll take the damn thing down myself if you're not going to because it's driving me crazy.

Sincerely,
C (who has limited tolerance for yard sculpture even when it's seasonally appropriate)

Of updates and jet lag

Why hello there, it's been awhile! The Internet being what it is, I didn't want to publicize the fact that Juan and I were going to be out of the country until we were back home, but we just returned from a much-needed vacation to Athens, Greece. It was an amazing trip, but it's good to be home.

Updates from the home front--I'm now a temporary stay-at-home-mom, and I think Luke is getting bored already. There are only so many times the boy can crawl around the house before he gets frustrated that there aren't any other kids here to play with, so we're going to start some Gymboree classes with a friend and her daughter next week and try to find some other activities to fill up our days.

In less happy news, my grandmother was officially diagnosed with esophageal cancer two weeks ago. She begins chemo/radiation treatments tomorrow, and any good thoughts you can send her way would be very much appreciated.

Finally, since I still kind of can't believe that we were actually in Athens this time last week, a few pictures from the trip:

All good things...

Six days from now the school year will be over and I'll be a free woman for ten glorious weeks. Summer break truly is one of the best perks we teachers get, and this time of year almost feels like vacation already because the students have taken their finals and are just doing busywork-type assignments and watching (mostly relevant) movies while we feverishly grade papers and finalize their grades. Even though my inbox is full and I have piles of books and personal items to pack up and take home in the next few days, the overall mood is so relaxed that it's hard not to get sucked into feeling like it's summer already.

However, it's also a sad time of year since I love my students and won't see many of them again once they graduate and move on to bigger and better things. I've found myself tearing up in class on more than one occasion because really, these kids are amazing. With remarkably few exceptions they're interesting, well-behaved, inquisitive young people; and while they drive me crazy on a daily basis I absolutely adore being their teacher.

So while I'm looking forward to being a pseudo-stay at home mom until the next year starts in August, I'm more than a little maudlin at the thought of saying goodbye to "my" kids next Tuesday and leaving this job I love, even for a much-needed break.

Roller coaster

First, please keep Kathleen in your thoughts. She's very ill and needs all the good thoughts and prayers you can send.

Second, what a roller coaster week this has been. Awful, awful news from every corner just keeps raining down, and I'm honestly afraid to pick up the phone when it rings because at this point I've received at least three calls in the last 24 hours that have reduced me to tears. I don't want to talk about it right now because I'm still processing (besides which, some of the news isn't mine to share) but that post will be coming at some point in the future.

Third, I've decided that a roller coaster is the perfect metaphor for the first year of parenthood. Big shocker, right? A: that the English teacher searches for metaphors for her life, and B: that the metaphor is an old, tired one. Hear me out, though!

Pregnancy is the looooooooong ride up to the top of the first drop. You think you're never going to get there, you're nervous and excited the whole time, and then BOOM! You drop!

(that's birth, by the way)

The initial 10-15 seconds of the ride, where you're disoriented and screaming, are the first months of your baby's life. Everything is new, you can't anticipate your next move, and you feel like you're going to fall off and/or throw up the entire time.

Then you start getting used to the jerkiness of the ride and begin really enjoying it. You can anticipate some of the curves, you might even have a chance to glance outside of the ride and see the water feature or popcorn stand nearby, and life is good. Sure, you're still on a roller coaster, but it's not new and strange anymore. Those are months four through 12.

Then, of course, the ride stops and you're forced to get off, shaky and dizzy, which I assume is a good analogy for moving from babyhood into the toddler years when everything changes again.

In case you can't tell from my above analysis, I'm feeling pretty confident about parenthood right about now. Life is (generally) predictable, and every once in awhile Luke makes a breakthrough that feels exactly like a lull in the ride. Case in point, he can now put himself to sleep.

For any non-parents reading this, putting oneself to sleep is a milestone that can never come early enough. After spending months and months nursing, rocking, singing, cajoling, and begging a baby to fall deeply enough asleep to be put down in his/her crib without waking back up again; it feels like clouds lifting and angels singing when one night you put down your baby awake (after spending WAAAAAAAY too much time on the above activities and giving up in sheer frustration) only to have him/her roll over and fall fast asleep.

Luke has now put himself to sleep several nights in a row, and I am loving it. LOVING IT. I know full well that I'm probably jinxing it by writing this, but I don't care. Every one of these little milestones, every one of these little things that he can do on his own, feels like the roller coaster slowing down. That doesn't mean it's stopped, or that parenthood gets easier, but it's getting more predictable. More normal. And that's a good thing.

Mother's Day: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

My first Mother's Day was wonderful. The three of us celebrated yesterday since Juan was working today, and Luke and I spent the "official" day together shopping, playing, and enjoying each other. It was a great day, but a rather eventful one for a number of reasons.

The Good: Luke was sitting on my lap playing with a stuffed toy and he kept pushing it at my mouth. After three or four nosefulls of Lamaze firefly, I finally realized that he wanted me to kiss the toy. I always make a game of having his toys kiss him (complete with big "MWAH!" sound effects) and he was mimicking me. He's never done that before, and he started cracking up as soon as I started giving the toy kisses. He'd put it near my mouth, I'd give it a big "MWAH!" kiss, and he'd laugh. Then I'd laugh, which would make him laugh harder, and so on and so forth. I think it was the first time we've shared a laugh like that, and it was wonderful.

The Bad: My grandmother isn't doing too well, and I'm really worried about her.

The Ugly: We got the green light from the pediatrician to start Luke on table foods, but I'm not sure he's ready. We tried two different Stage 3 (meaning small chunks of soft foods mixed in with purees) foods today and he gagged and vomited on both of them. He clearly has major issues with texture, and part of me wonders if he's just not ready yet. The other part, of course, thinks that it's very likely that he needs to continue to try new textures (he did okay with just one or two small pieces mixed in with a more runny puree) or else he'll never get used to them.

So, that was Mother's Day.

Bravo!

Luke has been learning new skills left and right this month at a pace that makes my head spin a bit when I think about everything he can do now that he couldn't just three weeks ago. He can pull himself to standing very easily, crawl across his room in under 10 seconds, and make "T" sounds. The one that I still can't quite believe, though, is that he's obviously starting to understand certain words and phrases we say to him.

His name was the first word he definitely recognized; that was a month or so ago. "No" isn't quite clicking yet (I think when he does react to it he's listening more to my tone of voice than to the actual word--to be honest I rarely had to use the word before he was mobile) but it's close. His newest word, though, is "Bravo!" Our Spanish-speaking nanny taught him how to clap last week, and now whenever someone says "Bravo!" to him (and he feels like it) he'll clap. It's beyond adorable and we're trying to catch it on camera before the novelty wears off.

My little baby is turning into a little boy, and it's going too fast. There are days when it seems like he'll be like this forever and others when it seems that he noticeably grew physically and cognitively overnight.

Stung

Remember back when Juan found a scorpion on our couch? And when I found one in the washing machine? Those were unfortunately just the first two of many ugly, scary little "friends" we've found here in the last two years. Well, tonight my arm looks like this:



because I got stung.

Juan and I were playing with Luke in his room, and when I put my arm down on my knee I felt the sting. It HURT. I haven't been stung by a bee in twenty some-odd years, that's roughly how it felt. The good news is that this type of scorpion's sting is about as dangerous as a bee's, so while Juan did make a point of circling the sting with a pen (and noting how far the redness spread) it's not dangerous in the slightest.

That said, I still kind of can't believe that I was stung by a scorpion.

I'm really not sure what to do about the fact that we've found more of them in Luke's room than in any other part of the house. I don't like having the exterminator spray in there, especially since it's hard to keep him away from the baseboards now that he's crawling, but I also don't want him to get stung. Ugh. We never had to deal with this kind of problem in Maryland.

Done and done

Thank God it's Friday. No, really, THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY. If I had to go back to that school in anything less than 48 hours I would probably go crazy.

(this is where my rant about today's administrative fuckup would go if, you know, I could blog about it. Suffice it to say, there was a fuckup, I will quit if it isn't resolved, and there's nothing I can do about it until people I don't completely trust do what they need to do)

BUT, the silver lining is that today is also the day we booked our tickets to GREECE for our anniversary/medical conference trip in June. It really can't come soon enough.