Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Hell, handbasket. Handbasket, hell.

This is where my motivation to call my OB/GYN for an RE referral has gone. I know it's related to how overwhelmed I am right now about the new job, new responsibilities, and (basically) entirely new identity. Teacher. I am a Teacher. It still weirds me out to type that. The bottom line, though, is that I'm torn about what to do. On the one hand, I know that I want to get the referral ball rolling so I can get in to see the city's one and only RE. On the other, could I even handle adding one more thing to my suddenly jam-packed schedule? My gut can't make up its mind about what it thinks I should do, so I'm stuck in limbo.

There's a big part of my brain that says having so much doubt and wishy-washiness about making a stupid phone call is, well, stupid. I mean, I have a phone in my classroom--it's not like I can't pick it up during my conference period and call my doctor. I think he'll argue with me about giving the referral (the RE won't even see me if I don't have one--I checked) but ultimately he's said all along that it's my money and my decision. So why haven't I done it yet? What am I so afraid of? I really don't know.


lunarmagic said...

I really understand this. I have an anxiety about phones so even simple phonecalls get put off for days, weeks. It sounds so silly on the outside, but when I'm sitting there staring at the phone..... I just can't do it.

Anonymous said...

Don't shoot me for saying this, but maybe right now you just need a break. Your plate is really full right now and Christmas break is coming up soon, so maybe around then? You know whatever you decide, I'm here for you!