Sunday, March 12, 2006

Ready for a Break

I'm ready for a break. The last month or so of work has just been awful. I'm not interested in it anymore, half the projects I'm working on won't be finished until after I quit, and I do everything I can to leave by 5:00 every day, which is something I've never done before. The good thing is that I only have ~60 days until I'm not working in the office anymore (my last day isn't actually until June 6, but I'm off except for emergencies starting May 12). The bad thing is that my lack of motivation is resulting in sloppiness on my part. Last week I forgot about a meeting I'd scheduled, and it could have been very, very bad if the person I was meeting with hadn't been nice about reschduling. I've never screwed up like that before.

I suppose I could blame my lack of interest in work on all the drama in our lives right now (between a sick cat, starting infertility testing, and selling our house, we do have a lot on our plates) but I know that's not the problem. The problem is that I'm tired of my job, I'm lazy, and I just don't really care anymore. I HAVE to care, though, at least until May 12, so the only thing I can do right now is to focus on what I'm doing right now as opposed to thinking about where I'm going to be in two months. Maybe that means I need to take a break from the internet, and maybe it means that (as my dad would say) I need a serious attitude adjustment. Regardless, this level of disinterest isn't acceptable as long as I'm drawing a paycheck, and it definitely doesn't bode well for my level of motivation at my next job.

So, I've decided to take the entire month of June off. I won't look for a job, I won't obsess over money (I hope), and I won't be miserable. I also won't just be lazing around the house, since we'll need to unpack, decorate, and settle in to our new house. I can't wait for that. I'm sure I'll get bored by the end of the month, and I do want to get another job or go back to school (haven't decided which yet) but I need a break. Not just because I'm tired, but because I want to excell at whatever I do next, and I don't think that I'll be able to in my current frame of mind.

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